Am I doomed to want the ones who never want me? This piece, the final one of 2009 is dedicated with hope and possibility to L.F. I don't know if you'll ever know how you blindsided me...
"Day One"
Kismet
Seeing you
Acknowledgment of truth
As with the beauty of a setting sun
I've loved you since day one
Kismet
Your soul within this space
As a humming bird's rapid wings
You quickened my heart's pace
With that I became undone
How I've loved you since day one
Confused
I had to know your name
Had to hear your voice
Make sure I was insane
Because it's not to be this way
In the silence feeling done
But knowing love since day one
Kismet
I'm unraveled over this one
Haunted in my dreams
Desperate in the lines of my songs
My pages overrun
With notes to go unsung
Until you know
I've loved you since day one...
©2009clarencecbess
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Saturday, December 26, 2009
Lost Ad
I lost a journal over the last 24hrs and it's killing me. It wasn't the 1st time, and somehow I know it won't be the last. But that doesn't stop it from hurting. So....
"Lost Ad"
Pardon me
But have you come across my soul?
I seem to have misplaced it.
I know,
Stupid right?
But I swear
One moment it was there
Safely tucked away
And the next,
Gone
Like money
Vanishing
Before I could even dream of enjoying it;
Out there
Being fondled
By some perv
Or worse yet
Being raped of it's purity...
If I don't find it in time
I wonder
Will I be like them
Looking at all those
Passing me by
Looking for some semblance
Harking back to mental snapshots
Coupling them
To inevitable evolution
In my pursuit of reunion...
I know
It's a bit much
Maybe too dramatic?
But it's all that I have
Had
All that I will leave this world
Beyond bills
And the occasional story
Of that fella
What's his name?
A description?
Well that's a little hard...
Seeing as how a soul
Is the sum of it's experiences;
With that I guess I'd say
Musical in it's approach
Lyrical in fact
A little angry
A tad witty
With a splash sexual innuendo;
Never too high-brow
But thought-provoking
Full of struggle
And the trappings
Of an inexplicable existence...
You need more?
Well,
Romantic
Vindictive
Sage-like at times
With just enough naivety
To entice...
One moment here
And the next
Gone
If this was the only occurrence
I wouldn't shake my head in wonder
At what you must think of me
To lose something so important;
But one cannot find one's self
Until one loses their self
So it comes as no surprise
That I am here
I've been losing things
Just as I have been finding things
For many years now...
©2009clarencecbess
"Lost Ad"
Pardon me
But have you come across my soul?
I seem to have misplaced it.
I know,
Stupid right?
But I swear
One moment it was there
Safely tucked away
And the next,
Gone
Like money
Vanishing
Before I could even dream of enjoying it;
Out there
Being fondled
By some perv
Or worse yet
Being raped of it's purity...
If I don't find it in time
I wonder
Will I be like them
Looking at all those
Passing me by
Looking for some semblance
Harking back to mental snapshots
Coupling them
To inevitable evolution
In my pursuit of reunion...
I know
It's a bit much
Maybe too dramatic?
But it's all that I have
Had
All that I will leave this world
Beyond bills
And the occasional story
Of that fella
What's his name?
A description?
Well that's a little hard...
Seeing as how a soul
Is the sum of it's experiences;
With that I guess I'd say
Musical in it's approach
Lyrical in fact
A little angry
A tad witty
With a splash sexual innuendo;
Never too high-brow
But thought-provoking
Full of struggle
And the trappings
Of an inexplicable existence...
You need more?
Well,
Romantic
Vindictive
Sage-like at times
With just enough naivety
To entice...
One moment here
And the next
Gone
If this was the only occurrence
I wouldn't shake my head in wonder
At what you must think of me
To lose something so important;
But one cannot find one's self
Until one loses their self
So it comes as no surprise
That I am here
I've been losing things
Just as I have been finding things
For many years now...
©2009clarencecbess
Friday, December 25, 2009
Holidaze
I missed you there
In that second
Between passing
And repetitive thoughts
Missed you
As I looked to them
Silent
Expressive
With every inch
They closer moved...
I missed you then
Miss you now
With the song
Between my ears
That makes me mourn
So close
To tears
And that ultimate finality
Which escapes the adjusted mind
But lingers in the skewered...
The problem with the holidays
As it is with everything else
Is that once you've known
The good
Great
Keeps you up at night
Changes the way you walk
Makes you better
Even when you're at your worst,
You want nothing more
Than to return
As the world reminds of loss
With sad songs to match
Hidden joys
Wrapped beneath over-decorated trees...
©2009clarencecbess
In that second
Between passing
And repetitive thoughts
Missed you
As I looked to them
Silent
Expressive
With every inch
They closer moved...
I missed you then
Miss you now
With the song
Between my ears
That makes me mourn
So close
To tears
And that ultimate finality
Which escapes the adjusted mind
But lingers in the skewered...
The problem with the holidays
As it is with everything else
Is that once you've known
The good
Great
Keeps you up at night
Changes the way you walk
Makes you better
Even when you're at your worst,
You want nothing more
Than to return
As the world reminds of loss
With sad songs to match
Hidden joys
Wrapped beneath over-decorated trees...
©2009clarencecbess
Eve
I tried to post this one yesterday, but ran into signal problems...
"Eve"
Times like this
Always get me
The moment lingering
Page half-turned
Knowing what came before
Guessing what comes next;
Reflection
Alters me in ways
Incomprehensible
Yet somehow familiar
Because I guess
That's just this time of year
As it was before
And shall be again
Just around the corner
A few moments away
Between the quiet
And alone
Nestled deep within me
As it was
And may forever be
There upon the eves
Of such an existence...
©2009clarencecbess
"Eve"
Times like this
Always get me
The moment lingering
Page half-turned
Knowing what came before
Guessing what comes next;
Reflection
Alters me in ways
Incomprehensible
Yet somehow familiar
Because I guess
That's just this time of year
As it was before
And shall be again
Just around the corner
A few moments away
Between the quiet
And alone
Nestled deep within me
As it was
And may forever be
There upon the eves
Of such an existence...
©2009clarencecbess
Thursday, December 24, 2009
Your Tears
Your tears
Allow me to go
Into your soul
Your stand
Your cigarette
Your hair
The way you stare always out
There
Beyond my perceptions of time
Beyond our dreams
That would be mine
Your tears
Guide me home
Into your hold
Your message whispered
Oh solo
Slowing me upon his notes
You accentuate
Punctuate
And cause me late;
In my confection of time
Beyond their dreams
That would be mine
Your tears
Will forever flow
Upon these things I come to know
That calculate
An unknown fate
Even in this pace we make
Upon your song
I drift along
Forgotten in time
Even with the dreams
That would be mine...
©2009clarencecbess
Allow me to go
Into your soul
Your stand
Your cigarette
Your hair
The way you stare always out
There
Beyond my perceptions of time
Beyond our dreams
That would be mine
Your tears
Guide me home
Into your hold
Your message whispered
Oh solo
Slowing me upon his notes
You accentuate
Punctuate
And cause me late;
In my confection of time
Beyond their dreams
That would be mine
Your tears
Will forever flow
Upon these things I come to know
That calculate
An unknown fate
Even in this pace we make
Upon your song
I drift along
Forgotten in time
Even with the dreams
That would be mine...
©2009clarencecbess
Monday, December 21, 2009
In Closing
Conclusion withstanding
I find I'm open in closing
Unsolved
Revolving
Stirring the mix of existence
Linguistically approaching
My defeat at sin's feet
Unrepentant
How could I have it any other way?
Conclusion withstanding
I'll hold us to greater truths
Revolving
Thus solving
Conundrums
Surprisingly porous
As lies we were told to tell
Just before the bulge
And the swell
That stirred our existence
Till we could no longer tell
Connections
Between deception and defeat
As we lay there mourning
Beneath death's feet
In conclusion
What am I
But the result of love
Or momentary lust
Unresolved
In the blue revolution
Of the black equation
And it's connections
Brought forth by the bulge
Ever-expanding
Like our waist-lines
As we attempt to fit them
Into too-revealing fabrics
Losing innocence and imagination
Along the way
To the lies we will tell
As infinity we meet
Just as I
With no remorse
Beneath our feet...
©2009clarencecbesss
I find I'm open in closing
Unsolved
Revolving
Stirring the mix of existence
Linguistically approaching
My defeat at sin's feet
Unrepentant
How could I have it any other way?
Conclusion withstanding
I'll hold us to greater truths
Revolving
Thus solving
Conundrums
Surprisingly porous
As lies we were told to tell
Just before the bulge
And the swell
That stirred our existence
Till we could no longer tell
Connections
Between deception and defeat
As we lay there mourning
Beneath death's feet
In conclusion
What am I
But the result of love
Or momentary lust
Unresolved
In the blue revolution
Of the black equation
And it's connections
Brought forth by the bulge
Ever-expanding
Like our waist-lines
As we attempt to fit them
Into too-revealing fabrics
Losing innocence and imagination
Along the way
To the lies we will tell
As infinity we meet
Just as I
With no remorse
Beneath our feet...
©2009clarencecbesss
Sunday, December 20, 2009
Jesus Saves
I saw this written in marker on the window of a subway car this evening. During this time of celebration and "giving", I couldn't help but be moved..right in line behind yet another customer.
"Jesus Saves"
Jesus saves
And I can't help but notice
That for each one
There are a million more lost
Left behind
Under the connivance
Of choice
Jesus saves
And so did Zeus
A million other gods before them
Tied in with the times
And truths that could be proved
In the remnants of forgotten ruins
Nomadic souls
And that little thing we can't escape
Evolution
Jesus saved
Deposited
Withdrew
And bounced a couple of checks
In a balancing act
Made comical
By the countless saps
Including myself
Who threw their grains
Coins and neighbors
Onto the altar
In an attempt to explain
What was never meant to be explained
Because isn't that the purpose of God
To rule
Never explaining his actions?
I mean,
Hell
Look at any corporation...
But...
Jesus saves.
©2009clarencecbess
"Jesus Saves"
Jesus saves
And I can't help but notice
That for each one
There are a million more lost
Left behind
Under the connivance
Of choice
Jesus saves
And so did Zeus
A million other gods before them
Tied in with the times
And truths that could be proved
In the remnants of forgotten ruins
Nomadic souls
And that little thing we can't escape
Evolution
Jesus saved
Deposited
Withdrew
And bounced a couple of checks
In a balancing act
Made comical
By the countless saps
Including myself
Who threw their grains
Coins and neighbors
Onto the altar
In an attempt to explain
What was never meant to be explained
Because isn't that the purpose of God
To rule
Never explaining his actions?
I mean,
Hell
Look at any corporation...
But...
Jesus saves.
©2009clarencecbess
Friday, December 18, 2009
High Fructose
Across from me
Desert green tea
Nothing green about it though
Except the tint of the can...
Over there from me
The bag of cookies
Automated grandma
Adding inch to the seam
Waste to the dream;
My children look like adults
Talk like adults
Have no concept
Like
Adults
As I trace it back
To not enough home-cooked meals
And the fact that mama
Needed more than pickles
With real iced-cream
But a side of fries
Washed down
By that slimy green can
Heavy with the should-a
Blessed by the could-a
Paid for with a would-a
But it's right down the block
And at the end of the day
Shit
Right now it's cheaper...
©2009clarencecbess
Desert green tea
Nothing green about it though
Except the tint of the can...
Over there from me
The bag of cookies
Automated grandma
Adding inch to the seam
Waste to the dream;
My children look like adults
Talk like adults
Have no concept
Like
Adults
As I trace it back
To not enough home-cooked meals
And the fact that mama
Needed more than pickles
With real iced-cream
But a side of fries
Washed down
By that slimy green can
Heavy with the should-a
Blessed by the could-a
Paid for with a would-a
But it's right down the block
And at the end of the day
Shit
Right now it's cheaper...
©2009clarencecbess
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Presents
It's that time of year...
"Presents"
The Lord gives
And the Lord takes away
The Lord ask me
'What do you believe today?'
I answer 'question'
He smiles
Looks away
Off into the sunset
Then turns to me and says
'You're done.'
I'm puzzled
So we kneel and pray
With me muzzled
What could it do today?
But he giveth
Just as he took away
And I'm muddled
In my beliefs today...
©2009clarencecbess
"Presents"
The Lord gives
And the Lord takes away
The Lord ask me
'What do you believe today?'
I answer 'question'
He smiles
Looks away
Off into the sunset
Then turns to me and says
'You're done.'
I'm puzzled
So we kneel and pray
With me muzzled
What could it do today?
But he giveth
Just as he took away
And I'm muddled
In my beliefs today...
©2009clarencecbess
Monday, December 14, 2009
Petals
I wanted to be your hero
Rescue you from the fools
Who tossed your heart to the heap
Sweep
You off your feet
Only to gently place them
On petals
Upon the road to we
I only wanted to be your hero
Hand out love
Without rules and regulations
Kiss you
Deep
Keep those promises
Others used to bait you
Trap you
Only to
Throw you back into the sea
I wanted to lift you
Build you up
To us
Hold you upon my shoulders
Trust
In time you'd know
You took the gloom
Made it bloom
To fall at your feet
Grace every step you take...
©2009clarencecbess
Rescue you from the fools
Who tossed your heart to the heap
Sweep
You off your feet
Only to gently place them
On petals
Upon the road to we
I only wanted to be your hero
Hand out love
Without rules and regulations
Kiss you
Deep
Keep those promises
Others used to bait you
Trap you
Only to
Throw you back into the sea
I wanted to lift you
Build you up
To us
Hold you upon my shoulders
Trust
In time you'd know
You took the gloom
Made it bloom
To fall at your feet
Grace every step you take...
©2009clarencecbess
Sunday, December 13, 2009
Clean-up In The Rear!
'Please don't tell me that!'
He yelled
Just before he saw the spill
The spew of irresponsibility
Because that's life
And there's always someone else
To clean-up the problem.
He returned with his mop
Silently erasing the mistakes of youth
In it's quest
To constantly reverberate
It's perceived immortality;
He wiped it away
Chunks and splatter
A technicolor explosion
Making his dollar
In the after-hours of society
Silently
Saving the story
For the like-minded crew
At the other end of the platform.
He wiped it away
And within two stops
The train was crowded again...
She sat in the spot
Oblivious
To the past of that space
Her feet firmly planted
In my memory of the burst
And the pine-scented swoops
That faded as quickly
As the moment that produced them
Because
There will always be
Somebody else
To clean-up the consequences...
©2009clarencecbess
He yelled
Just before he saw the spill
The spew of irresponsibility
Because that's life
And there's always someone else
To clean-up the problem.
He returned with his mop
Silently erasing the mistakes of youth
In it's quest
To constantly reverberate
It's perceived immortality;
He wiped it away
Chunks and splatter
A technicolor explosion
Making his dollar
In the after-hours of society
Silently
Saving the story
For the like-minded crew
At the other end of the platform.
He wiped it away
And within two stops
The train was crowded again...
She sat in the spot
Oblivious
To the past of that space
Her feet firmly planted
In my memory of the burst
And the pine-scented swoops
That faded as quickly
As the moment that produced them
Because
There will always be
Somebody else
To clean-up the consequences...
©2009clarencecbess
Saturday, December 12, 2009
Sleepwalking
Sometimes I dream of poetry.
Of words falling
Beautiful and slow
Everlasting images
Slightly out of focus
Of the perceived natural view;
At times I dream of laughter
Unfortunately most times it's pain;
I dream of the man across from me
With the Old English in his hands
(At 7:40 in the morning mind you)...
I awake in a haze
The songs almost out of reach
Most-times
And just like him
I need a fix
So I dig
Deep
Beyond my eyes and theirs
Searching for my carbonated remedy
My second set of eyes
By which to see the world
And the shadows of those stanzas
That escape me.
Shadows that change their positions
With the angle of the sun
Brilliant noons
Haunting ones
Elongating their influences
Until they are one
Blanket of darkness
For me sleep beneath
Waiting for songs of eloquence
I'll forget again tomorrow morning...
©2009clarencecbess
Of words falling
Beautiful and slow
Everlasting images
Slightly out of focus
Of the perceived natural view;
At times I dream of laughter
Unfortunately most times it's pain;
I dream of the man across from me
With the Old English in his hands
(At 7:40 in the morning mind you)...
I awake in a haze
The songs almost out of reach
Most-times
And just like him
I need a fix
So I dig
Deep
Beyond my eyes and theirs
Searching for my carbonated remedy
My second set of eyes
By which to see the world
And the shadows of those stanzas
That escape me.
Shadows that change their positions
With the angle of the sun
Brilliant noons
Haunting ones
Elongating their influences
Until they are one
Blanket of darkness
For me sleep beneath
Waiting for songs of eloquence
I'll forget again tomorrow morning...
©2009clarencecbess
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
Blonde Ambition
Without a doubt
I feel you there
The place within my heart
That exhales
Each time I feel the one.
Without a doubt
Your enigma
Intrigues
Lifting me above
Those cirrus possibilities
To wander
Beyond the milky way of me
Expanding
With each thought of finding
The one
Just far enough
From a sun.
Without a doubt
You've swelled the run
Of my spring
To rise above the shores
Of my screams
Drowning everything;
My reality come undone
I take a moment to exhale
Again
That you could be the one.
©2009clarencecbess
I feel you there
The place within my heart
That exhales
Each time I feel the one.
Without a doubt
Your enigma
Intrigues
Lifting me above
Those cirrus possibilities
To wander
Beyond the milky way of me
Expanding
With each thought of finding
The one
Just far enough
From a sun.
Without a doubt
You've swelled the run
Of my spring
To rise above the shores
Of my screams
Drowning everything;
My reality come undone
I take a moment to exhale
Again
That you could be the one.
©2009clarencecbess
Guitar
To the one on the other side...
"Guitar"
His guitar wept softly
Through the night
Into morning
Bringing to my ears
Serenades of sorrow.
I wanted to put my hand out
Take his melody
Lift it up to a smile
Let him know
Loneliness was not his alone;
Wanted to take his chords
Slip them between my fingers
Do what naturally comes best
Make joy of the struggle
Feast of the afterthought;
But I am left to listen
To hear in mystery
Pen this intensity...
I cannot play a guitar.
©2009clarencecbess
"Guitar"
His guitar wept softly
Through the night
Into morning
Bringing to my ears
Serenades of sorrow.
I wanted to put my hand out
Take his melody
Lift it up to a smile
Let him know
Loneliness was not his alone;
Wanted to take his chords
Slip them between my fingers
Do what naturally comes best
Make joy of the struggle
Feast of the afterthought;
But I am left to listen
To hear in mystery
Pen this intensity...
I cannot play a guitar.
©2009clarencecbess
Sunday, December 6, 2009
Bake Sale
Blackberry pie for sale!
Moist and sweet
With just a little zing!
Would you like that
A la mode?
Blackberry pie for sale!
Dutch or exposed?
With or without cream?
Guaranteed to fill you up
Sliding down your pipe
Slow and warm
A reminder of life
Innocence
To take things slow...
Plenty to go around
Have two or three!
Slices?
No baby
Not at these prices!
You better grab the whole thing!
No
No straw
No boysen
Blueberries here
What's that?
Sweet potato?
Well,
Wrong time of year;
I only got blackberry
Same as those before me
Wild and free
Plucked in time
With their scent to the breeze
Moist and sweet
With just a little zing...
Piping hot!
All on it's own
Or would you like that
A la mode?
Balanced out
With the crust and the cream
Balanced out
With the truth
And the dream...
©2009clarenccbess
Moist and sweet
With just a little zing!
Would you like that
A la mode?
Blackberry pie for sale!
Dutch or exposed?
With or without cream?
Guaranteed to fill you up
Sliding down your pipe
Slow and warm
A reminder of life
Innocence
To take things slow...
Plenty to go around
Have two or three!
Slices?
No baby
Not at these prices!
You better grab the whole thing!
No
No straw
No boysen
Blueberries here
What's that?
Sweet potato?
Well,
Wrong time of year;
I only got blackberry
Same as those before me
Wild and free
Plucked in time
With their scent to the breeze
Moist and sweet
With just a little zing...
Piping hot!
All on it's own
Or would you like that
A la mode?
Balanced out
With the crust and the cream
Balanced out
With the truth
And the dream...
©2009clarenccbess
Somewhere In The Forest
Titillating song enters mind
But sista
You got the wrong time
You see that fine oak?
I'm swinging from those branches
Not about to give up the shade
Not about to give up the song
In the quiet rustle of those leaves;
In a forest full of harmony
There are plenty of trees for you
For we
So sista
Keep on steppin'
This here melody
Belongs to me...
©2009clarencecbess
But sista
You got the wrong time
You see that fine oak?
I'm swinging from those branches
Not about to give up the shade
Not about to give up the song
In the quiet rustle of those leaves;
In a forest full of harmony
There are plenty of trees for you
For we
So sista
Keep on steppin'
This here melody
Belongs to me...
©2009clarencecbess
December
Snow falls on questions.
Gently persisting answers.
Truth melts on my tongue.
&
Today I go there.
Drifting into tomorrow.
Now comes mystery.
©2009clarencecbess
Gently persisting answers.
Truth melts on my tongue.
&
Today I go there.
Drifting into tomorrow.
Now comes mystery.
©2009clarencecbess
Saturday, December 5, 2009
The Winners
Here they are folks! The winning pictures for my new book.
#1) New Artist Photo
#2) Rear Cover
#3) The Cover
#1) New Artist Photo
#2) Rear Cover
#3) The Cover
December Grey
I always enjoy Long Island... from the railroad...
"December Grey"
He forgot it yesterday
Lost upon the words
He couldn't say
I doubt
It could hurt so much
But I'm at a loss to say
To be without it
Would empty me too much...
In their stories
I hear them say
Never a loss for words
That he could rule this way
Just as the sun set
The other day
Only to burn horizons
Where children play...
I'm smiling
Looking into
And beyond the rain
At workers passing by
Knowing their present
And part of my past
Are one in the same;
Were it not for laws
What would they sing?
To tell their story
What would they scream?
I'm observing
All the barren trees
Skeletal remains
Of the forgotten spring
Revealing to me the truth
That just beyond these dreams
Dies the essence of our being
Cries the passion of our soul
Lies the freedom that we need...
He forgot it yesterday
Just as I again knew it today
That children cannot play
That they will never know their scream;
That just as beneath those sodden roots
Was life
As above these falling tears
Are the bluest of skies...
©2009clarencecbess
"December Grey"
He forgot it yesterday
Lost upon the words
He couldn't say
I doubt
It could hurt so much
But I'm at a loss to say
To be without it
Would empty me too much...
In their stories
I hear them say
Never a loss for words
That he could rule this way
Just as the sun set
The other day
Only to burn horizons
Where children play...
I'm smiling
Looking into
And beyond the rain
At workers passing by
Knowing their present
And part of my past
Are one in the same;
Were it not for laws
What would they sing?
To tell their story
What would they scream?
I'm observing
All the barren trees
Skeletal remains
Of the forgotten spring
Revealing to me the truth
That just beyond these dreams
Dies the essence of our being
Cries the passion of our soul
Lies the freedom that we need...
He forgot it yesterday
Just as I again knew it today
That children cannot play
That they will never know their scream;
That just as beneath those sodden roots
Was life
As above these falling tears
Are the bluest of skies...
©2009clarencecbess
With Benefits
He told me I was there
Upon him
Around him
Within
Weaved me tapestries
Silken and plush
With the possibilities
That come with seduction
I gave
I buckled
Weak at the knees
Kneeling at his base
Prayer to my savior
Rather my heart's
I asked forgiveness
Upon a kiss
He took me
Gently
Raised me
Brought my face to his
Closed his eyes
Leaned in...
(And I smelled him
Took him
In
Ingesting his bouquet
Of masculinity
With a hint of femininity
Through the strength of his hands upon me
And the quietness of his actions)
I wanted to close my eyes
Return to the prayer
But hesitation stayed me
Understood me
As he denied me
Whispered to me
'Yes, but...'
©2009clarencecbess
Upon him
Around him
Within
Weaved me tapestries
Silken and plush
With the possibilities
That come with seduction
I gave
I buckled
Weak at the knees
Kneeling at his base
Prayer to my savior
Rather my heart's
I asked forgiveness
Upon a kiss
He took me
Gently
Raised me
Brought my face to his
Closed his eyes
Leaned in...
(And I smelled him
Took him
In
Ingesting his bouquet
Of masculinity
With a hint of femininity
Through the strength of his hands upon me
And the quietness of his actions)
I wanted to close my eyes
Return to the prayer
But hesitation stayed me
Understood me
As he denied me
Whispered to me
'Yes, but...'
©2009clarencecbess
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Silent Undertaking
Funny
We never talk about
Not talking...
We dance the dance
Skirting about and around
Our history
Silently knowing
We are like-minded souls
Passing the time
With our idiosyncrasies
Private little wars
We wage in order to control
Whatever time we have left...
We never talk
About not talking
And I always end up wondering
Just before tears
Do you watch the blossoms
As I do?
Hear faintly a song?
Smell softly their bouquet?
Only to question why thorns
Would ever grace such beauty...
Dim
I come to know
The more petrified my soul
The looser my bark
Drying and crumbling to the base of me;
Silence and longing
Echoes that strike upon each other
Seeking ignition
To destroy the forest of we
Whom attempt to breeze
Producing sound
Upon the branches
Of leafless trees...
©2009clarencecbess
We never talk about
Not talking...
We dance the dance
Skirting about and around
Our history
Silently knowing
We are like-minded souls
Passing the time
With our idiosyncrasies
Private little wars
We wage in order to control
Whatever time we have left...
We never talk
About not talking
And I always end up wondering
Just before tears
Do you watch the blossoms
As I do?
Hear faintly a song?
Smell softly their bouquet?
Only to question why thorns
Would ever grace such beauty...
Dim
I come to know
The more petrified my soul
The looser my bark
Drying and crumbling to the base of me;
Silence and longing
Echoes that strike upon each other
Seeking ignition
To destroy the forest of we
Whom attempt to breeze
Producing sound
Upon the branches
Of leafless trees...
©2009clarencecbess
Happy
I'm happy I've written
My feelings of the moment
Again
For the longevity of time...
Happy I smile
With my eyes stinging
From the after-hour existence
Because worse
Come to worse
I know I've got it good
Better than most...
Happy
My being seeks to grasp
Joy and calculation
To the end result
Of expanding my universe
Beyond this petal
Upon which I reside
Beyond this bloom
Upon a twisted stem
A part of this convoluted mass
That seeks to ensnare
Every thread upon the breeze...
©2009clarencecbess
My feelings of the moment
Again
For the longevity of time...
Happy I smile
With my eyes stinging
From the after-hour existence
Because worse
Come to worse
I know I've got it good
Better than most...
Happy
My being seeks to grasp
Joy and calculation
To the end result
Of expanding my universe
Beyond this petal
Upon which I reside
Beyond this bloom
Upon a twisted stem
A part of this convoluted mass
That seeks to ensnare
Every thread upon the breeze...
©2009clarencecbess
E Pluribus Unum
Dear Lord, Why?
"E Pluribus Unum"
The problem is
I still love him
Want
Him
Even though mutual adoration
Appears not to exist.
The problem is
I ran into him
As amber seduction
Took me
Made me
Long for his embrace
His kiss
All I was familiar with
And the emotions that come
Upon satisfaction.
The problem is
I can't have him
I
Lost him
Upon desire to snag him
Make him mine
And now
He looks to me
With question
And that evil thing
Friendship;
Looks to me
With contradictory eyes
Wanting
Yearning
For that likewise embrace...
How I weep...
©2009clarencecbess
"E Pluribus Unum"
The problem is
I still love him
Want
Him
Even though mutual adoration
Appears not to exist.
The problem is
I ran into him
As amber seduction
Took me
Made me
Long for his embrace
His kiss
All I was familiar with
And the emotions that come
Upon satisfaction.
The problem is
I can't have him
I
Lost him
Upon desire to snag him
Make him mine
And now
He looks to me
With question
And that evil thing
Friendship;
Looks to me
With contradictory eyes
Wanting
Yearning
For that likewise embrace...
How I weep...
©2009clarencecbess
Friday, November 20, 2009
This One
Sometimes I hear something and I like it, maybe even love it. But then there are those times I wish I wrote it... Dedicated to the late MJ whose 'In The Back' influenced its creation.
"This One"
This one made me come undone
Had me floating on day one
Crawled within my head
Reverberated layers
Like colors around the sun
And I loved it...
This one made me stop the run
Had me thinking what I'd done
Crawled upon my back
Twisted and rolled in undulations
Like I was giving some
And I loved it...
This one made me think of that one
That haunts my dreams
Awake
And then some
Shifting me to dance
Come
Forth with truth upon my tongue
That I must compose one
Maybe two
Because that's what it do
And I love it...
This one made me come undone
Crawled within my bed
To have fun
Sex me
Love me
Since day one
Held me captive
With restraints none
But dreams don't last forever
Will I awake from this one?
But for now I'm overrun
And I love it...
©2009clarencecbess
"This One"
This one made me come undone
Had me floating on day one
Crawled within my head
Reverberated layers
Like colors around the sun
And I loved it...
This one made me stop the run
Had me thinking what I'd done
Crawled upon my back
Twisted and rolled in undulations
Like I was giving some
And I loved it...
This one made me think of that one
That haunts my dreams
Awake
And then some
Shifting me to dance
Come
Forth with truth upon my tongue
That I must compose one
Maybe two
Because that's what it do
And I love it...
This one made me come undone
Crawled within my bed
To have fun
Sex me
Love me
Since day one
Held me captive
With restraints none
But dreams don't last forever
Will I awake from this one?
But for now I'm overrun
And I love it...
©2009clarencecbess
Thursday, November 19, 2009
8th To Jefferson
I got fu-ducked up last night. Somehow, I managed to write a decent one...
"8th To Jefferson"
Her hands look dead.
Shrunken
Diminished
Lifeless in their dance.
He looks scared.
Withdrawn
Alone
Searching the environment
For a like-minded soul
Behind like-minded shades.
They converse.
Oblivious
Stapled
To the products of entitlement
As every-other soul
Bobs
Forward
Angled
In the resolution
Of the late scene
It's ignorance
Intoxication
Blind movement...
He tries to sleep
Awakened by the innate
Eyes upon him
Verse about him
Glancing to me
Secretly
Troubled
But too tired to care
As maybe someone else would.
Among this
I am me
Feverishly scribing
The moment come
Upon eyes looking to mine
Wondering why I stare
And write
Only to stare some more...
©2009clarencecbess
"8th To Jefferson"
Her hands look dead.
Shrunken
Diminished
Lifeless in their dance.
He looks scared.
Withdrawn
Alone
Searching the environment
For a like-minded soul
Behind like-minded shades.
They converse.
Oblivious
Stapled
To the products of entitlement
As every-other soul
Bobs
Forward
Angled
In the resolution
Of the late scene
It's ignorance
Intoxication
Blind movement...
He tries to sleep
Awakened by the innate
Eyes upon him
Verse about him
Glancing to me
Secretly
Troubled
But too tired to care
As maybe someone else would.
Among this
I am me
Feverishly scribing
The moment come
Upon eyes looking to mine
Wondering why I stare
And write
Only to stare some more...
©2009clarencecbess
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Honey
Like honey
He eased down my soul
Slow and steady
Sweet
With the promises of love;
Tickling my tongue
He let me take him
Spread him about my mouth
To awaken a palate forgetful
Of the tease
Of the play
Of two bound
To horizons unending...
Like honey
I sought
To disperse him about
My brackish being
A balance made more intoxicating
By buttery dreams
His pollen brought to me
As I ebbed with the flow
Dipped in the things
About the history of him
Sweet and simple
Natural
As the honey I wish to place
Upon his lips
Parted with his smile
Next to his dreams
Under his soul
Which I long to hold...
©2009clarencecbess
He eased down my soul
Slow and steady
Sweet
With the promises of love;
Tickling my tongue
He let me take him
Spread him about my mouth
To awaken a palate forgetful
Of the tease
Of the play
Of two bound
To horizons unending...
Like honey
I sought
To disperse him about
My brackish being
A balance made more intoxicating
By buttery dreams
His pollen brought to me
As I ebbed with the flow
Dipped in the things
About the history of him
Sweet and simple
Natural
As the honey I wish to place
Upon his lips
Parted with his smile
Next to his dreams
Under his soul
Which I long to hold...
©2009clarencecbess
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Tattoo You
Sometimes the ABM in me comes out...
"Tattoo You"
It would be heaven
To tattoo you
Stain you with my history
All over your body
Except for your face
Just because it would bring me joy;
The physical embodiment
Of the shame you already hide
That I must live with;
Despite my honest tries
To fit this vanilla cookie-cutter existence
I am reminded
Every
Time
The family
The church
Society
Fails
That though I wish to live as
Myself
I still carry the Golgotha
Gibraltar
Weight of representation
Because you won't let me
Forget
Feverishly holding on
To your legacy of abuse...
I'd love to tattoo you
Stain you
Mark
You
Everything except your face
With my history
To see who would be proud
As I am proud
Of my tattoo;
Would love for you to look in your mirror
See your beauty
What you had
Only to strip you
Exposing what you lost
What you stole
Sold
Raped
Murdered
In the name of colonization
Profit
And that's only within the last fifty years...
Tattoo you
With my misery
And the mystery inherent with stares
That dissect me
Figure me
Pigeon me
One in the same;
Tattoo you
As I tattoo me
As you tattooed we
With your verse
Your seed;
Tattoo you
From the neck on down
Because despite the gray
It really is
A black and white world
Just ask the red
Beseech the blue
The shades in between
Me
And your tattoo...
©2009clarencecbess
"Tattoo You"
It would be heaven
To tattoo you
Stain you with my history
All over your body
Except for your face
Just because it would bring me joy;
The physical embodiment
Of the shame you already hide
That I must live with;
Despite my honest tries
To fit this vanilla cookie-cutter existence
I am reminded
Every
Time
The family
The church
Society
Fails
That though I wish to live as
Myself
I still carry the Golgotha
Gibraltar
Weight of representation
Because you won't let me
Forget
Feverishly holding on
To your legacy of abuse...
I'd love to tattoo you
Stain you
Mark
You
Everything except your face
With my history
To see who would be proud
As I am proud
Of my tattoo;
Would love for you to look in your mirror
See your beauty
What you had
Only to strip you
Exposing what you lost
What you stole
Sold
Raped
Murdered
In the name of colonization
Profit
And that's only within the last fifty years...
Tattoo you
With my misery
And the mystery inherent with stares
That dissect me
Figure me
Pigeon me
One in the same;
Tattoo you
As I tattoo me
As you tattooed we
With your verse
Your seed;
Tattoo you
From the neck on down
Because despite the gray
It really is
A black and white world
Just ask the red
Beseech the blue
The shades in between
Me
And your tattoo...
©2009clarencecbess
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Delusion Illusion
Let's see who can figure out who this piece is about... Now taking callers.
"Delusion Illusion"
Little girl
Little girl
Still living with your dolls
Locked within your fantasy
Do you hear reality's call?
That people all around you
Are old enough to see
These embellishments of the truth you spew
Are cause for laughter
In moments of other's privacy.
Little girl
Little girl
Why are you still on daddy's lap?
Why did you stem the rose
Dance down the aisle
Thinking waltz
When it was really tap?
What have you done
Subsequently these years
To brave the world so cold
But to toss away
Every possibility
To give yourself a soul;
We're getting old
We're getting old
And the stories are over-told
What amazes me
Is that you truly think
Your painting are so bold;
Like wonder said
You're spending most your life
Living in a pastime paradise
Ignoring your future
Letting it slip away
Thinking like always
Your past
Will come to save the day...
Little girl
Little girl
I shake my head in wonder
Take some ibuprofen for the shame
And realize I am thankful
We are not one in the same
I woke up long ago
Left the castle far away
Danced beneath stars so bright
Drunk upon my misery
Woke beneath an apple tree
Whose bark I used to make a home
Burned it's trunks
Through my winter
Just to keep me warm
Planted it's seeds to bare more fruit
Just to give away
Woke up from my long deep sleep
To find I was ok
As a man
Able to stand proud and tall
Planted firmly in the truth
Of it all...
©2009clarencecbess
"Delusion Illusion"
Little girl
Little girl
Still living with your dolls
Locked within your fantasy
Do you hear reality's call?
That people all around you
Are old enough to see
These embellishments of the truth you spew
Are cause for laughter
In moments of other's privacy.
Little girl
Little girl
Why are you still on daddy's lap?
Why did you stem the rose
Dance down the aisle
Thinking waltz
When it was really tap?
What have you done
Subsequently these years
To brave the world so cold
But to toss away
Every possibility
To give yourself a soul;
We're getting old
We're getting old
And the stories are over-told
What amazes me
Is that you truly think
Your painting are so bold;
Like wonder said
You're spending most your life
Living in a pastime paradise
Ignoring your future
Letting it slip away
Thinking like always
Your past
Will come to save the day...
Little girl
Little girl
I shake my head in wonder
Take some ibuprofen for the shame
And realize I am thankful
We are not one in the same
I woke up long ago
Left the castle far away
Danced beneath stars so bright
Drunk upon my misery
Woke beneath an apple tree
Whose bark I used to make a home
Burned it's trunks
Through my winter
Just to keep me warm
Planted it's seeds to bare more fruit
Just to give away
Woke up from my long deep sleep
To find I was ok
As a man
Able to stand proud and tall
Planted firmly in the truth
Of it all...
©2009clarencecbess
He Who Remains
I figured it was about time I wrote my theme-song...lol...
"He Who Remains"
By he who remains
Simply here to stay
The soul's quite refrain
The world's sordid ways
By he is the truth
Unclouded
Unbiased in it's range
From the soul straight on to you
By he is the pain
Saw and felt and heard in such ways
His pen must offer proof
To existence of the higher plane
Simply here to stay
He who remains in the ways
True to the heart upon his sleeve
True to the prayers within his dreams
"He Who Remains"
By he who remains
Simply here to stay
The soul's quite refrain
The world's sordid ways
By he is the truth
Unclouded
Unbiased in it's range
From the soul straight on to you
By he is the pain
Saw and felt and heard in such ways
His pen must offer proof
To existence of the higher plane
Simply here to stay
He who remains in the ways
True to the heart upon his sleeve
True to the prayers within his dreams
Monday, November 9, 2009
Junkie In A Slinky B
Several people inspired this poem from both my past and present. When I think of them, I am always reminded of what a comedian once asked... 'Who are the biggest liars?' His answer...well, you'll have to ask me face-to-face for that... Enjoy!
"Junkie In A Slinky B"
Got to get it in him
So he 'round my block
Peepin'
Scopin'
Everything behind and beyond
Windows
Sidewalks
Iron gates;
Got ta get it in 'em
So he 'round
Chasing skirts
Tits
Ass
And I'm sure a few dicks in between
Tapping up
His Kentucky-fried Bojangles
Song and dance;
But he runs from me
Slinks away
Knows I'm unafraid to look
With the truth being
I think him to be
Far more interesting
Than the everyday staccato
He's junkie in a slinky b
smooth and deep
Thinking he's lying
While living the truth
That this shit is hard
And most of us
Aren't but a dead relative
Single paycheck
Government priority
Hospital stay
Best friend
Lost job
Lost soul
Away from him...
Got to get it in him
So he can dream
So he can sleep
scratch the itch of survival
Melt away in blue
Slow
Slow
Just so...
©2009clarencecbess
"Junkie In A Slinky B"
Got to get it in him
So he 'round my block
Peepin'
Scopin'
Everything behind and beyond
Windows
Sidewalks
Iron gates;
Got ta get it in 'em
So he 'round
Chasing skirts
Tits
Ass
And I'm sure a few dicks in between
Tapping up
His Kentucky-fried Bojangles
Song and dance;
But he runs from me
Slinks away
Knows I'm unafraid to look
With the truth being
I think him to be
Far more interesting
Than the everyday staccato
He's junkie in a slinky b
smooth and deep
Thinking he's lying
While living the truth
That this shit is hard
And most of us
Aren't but a dead relative
Single paycheck
Government priority
Hospital stay
Best friend
Lost job
Lost soul
Away from him...
Got to get it in him
So he can dream
So he can sleep
scratch the itch of survival
Melt away in blue
Slow
Slow
Just so...
©2009clarencecbess
Saturday, November 7, 2009
Relic
I am a relic
A throwback to a time
On the cusp of forgotten
Dangerously dangling about
The edge of my grave
Waiting for that approaching storm
With it's bulbous protrusions
Laden with the damp misery
Of eradication
To blow me away into fossilization
A relic unappreciated
Or so I think
Because despite my influence
The world seems hell bent
On self-indulgence
For even I am guilty of it
Yet I hold to clearly obsolete practices
Beliefs
Not in tuned
With those who would have power
Long past their slave ships
Their plantations
Their shackles of the mind
Free to concentrate
On superiority of the conscience
A relic
Who melts
With the clarity of vinyl
Whose Idea of dinner
Involves a stove and mother
And waiting on daddy to get home
For his big piece of chicken
So the rest of us could eat;
A relic
Humbling himself to say 'mam'
'Sir'
Out of simple courtesy
And because
That's just the right thing to do;
A relic
Who wants to hold and touch
Taste and tease
Enjoying the inevitable victory
Of sweet moans and nothings in his ear
As he bonds for the long-haul
Through the poverty and wealth
Of any relationship;
A relic
Who would rather have
A few bits of quality
Over some compressed
Particle
Throw-away Ikea shit
Sold with the illusion of functionality
And affordability...
A relic
Who knows
Freedom and choice
Are outweighed only
By their profound cost
But sees that cost
Indebted away
On plastic cards
Magnetized
To make true the statement
That money doesn't make the world go round
But credit sure as hell does grease the axle...
A relic
One foot in his grave
The other on his computer screen
With cumulus fate overhead
And the world
Waiting
On Facebook, Twitter, and MySpace
Watching...
©2009clarencecbess
A throwback to a time
On the cusp of forgotten
Dangerously dangling about
The edge of my grave
Waiting for that approaching storm
With it's bulbous protrusions
Laden with the damp misery
Of eradication
To blow me away into fossilization
A relic unappreciated
Or so I think
Because despite my influence
The world seems hell bent
On self-indulgence
For even I am guilty of it
Yet I hold to clearly obsolete practices
Beliefs
Not in tuned
With those who would have power
Long past their slave ships
Their plantations
Their shackles of the mind
Free to concentrate
On superiority of the conscience
A relic
Who melts
With the clarity of vinyl
Whose Idea of dinner
Involves a stove and mother
And waiting on daddy to get home
For his big piece of chicken
So the rest of us could eat;
A relic
Humbling himself to say 'mam'
'Sir'
Out of simple courtesy
And because
That's just the right thing to do;
A relic
Who wants to hold and touch
Taste and tease
Enjoying the inevitable victory
Of sweet moans and nothings in his ear
As he bonds for the long-haul
Through the poverty and wealth
Of any relationship;
A relic
Who would rather have
A few bits of quality
Over some compressed
Particle
Throw-away Ikea shit
Sold with the illusion of functionality
And affordability...
A relic
Who knows
Freedom and choice
Are outweighed only
By their profound cost
But sees that cost
Indebted away
On plastic cards
Magnetized
To make true the statement
That money doesn't make the world go round
But credit sure as hell does grease the axle...
A relic
One foot in his grave
The other on his computer screen
With cumulus fate overhead
And the world
Waiting
On Facebook, Twitter, and MySpace
Watching...
©2009clarencecbess
Black Note
Drawing up
The collar on my coat
I feel a black note coming on
Funky
Deep in the bass
Emotional thump
Best expressed
With a sway to my hips
The kind that entices
Hooks
Between lit candles
Snifters of cognac
And licked lips
leading to procreation
Or at least the act of it;
Slipping into the joint
I pull down on the brim
Grooving my way through the crowd
The black note
Chilling me out
Warming my soul
Bringing me home
To the 'brew
On a col' train
Slinking it's way
Express to my love
And it's ravenous appetites
Longing to be quenched tonight;
Lost in the dip
Sway
Finger-snap
Silent accompaniment
Black notes take me
Making me theirs
Making us
Theirs
In unison connected
Returned
To the things we put away
But never forget;
Erect
I stumble home
Intoxicated by black note's elixir
Rejuvenated for the task at hand
Of adding my own black note
To the eternal dance...
©2009clarencecbess
The collar on my coat
I feel a black note coming on
Funky
Deep in the bass
Emotional thump
Best expressed
With a sway to my hips
The kind that entices
Hooks
Between lit candles
Snifters of cognac
And licked lips
leading to procreation
Or at least the act of it;
Slipping into the joint
I pull down on the brim
Grooving my way through the crowd
The black note
Chilling me out
Warming my soul
Bringing me home
To the 'brew
On a col' train
Slinking it's way
Express to my love
And it's ravenous appetites
Longing to be quenched tonight;
Lost in the dip
Sway
Finger-snap
Silent accompaniment
Black notes take me
Making me theirs
Making us
Theirs
In unison connected
Returned
To the things we put away
But never forget;
Erect
I stumble home
Intoxicated by black note's elixir
Rejuvenated for the task at hand
Of adding my own black note
To the eternal dance...
©2009clarencecbess
The Supplication Of Me
I wanna bathe in your shower
Be cleansed by your power
Flow with you down your stream
Make you my everything
Song that I sing
I wanna make you my flower
Watch your petals bloom every hour
Place you in my window for all to see
Share the smile that you bring to me
Smell you everywhere upon a breeze
I wanna know you like my soul
Those mysteries to unfold
As I come to the heart of we
Understanding everything
That we were, are, shall be
I wanna feel you as my dream
Ample and bold like stars that scream
Overhead and beyond things
From which I attempt escape to be free;
Taste you like the sweetest thing
Hear you as a touching melody
Be you as complete as I am me
Off into the unknown of eternity...
©2009clarencecbess
Be cleansed by your power
Flow with you down your stream
Make you my everything
Song that I sing
I wanna make you my flower
Watch your petals bloom every hour
Place you in my window for all to see
Share the smile that you bring to me
Smell you everywhere upon a breeze
I wanna know you like my soul
Those mysteries to unfold
As I come to the heart of we
Understanding everything
That we were, are, shall be
I wanna feel you as my dream
Ample and bold like stars that scream
Overhead and beyond things
From which I attempt escape to be free;
Taste you like the sweetest thing
Hear you as a touching melody
Be you as complete as I am me
Off into the unknown of eternity...
©2009clarencecbess
Las Rosa Negro
A very special piece... Hint,hint ;o)
"Las Rosa Negro"
Plush ebony blooms
Alone
In fields of ivory
Rising from weeds
Seeking to strangle;
It's bouquet
Drifts upon the breeze
Confusing
Enticing passer-by's
Longing
For the attention it desires;
It's petals unfurled
Lifted in triumph
Against backdrops of oppression
It sings quietly
Faintly
Drawing them in
To behold it's splendor;
Ah lil' rosa negro
How long til adoration
Takes you upon it's shears?
©2009clarencecbess
"Las Rosa Negro"
Plush ebony blooms
Alone
In fields of ivory
Rising from weeds
Seeking to strangle;
It's bouquet
Drifts upon the breeze
Confusing
Enticing passer-by's
Longing
For the attention it desires;
It's petals unfurled
Lifted in triumph
Against backdrops of oppression
It sings quietly
Faintly
Drawing them in
To behold it's splendor;
Ah lil' rosa negro
How long til adoration
Takes you upon it's shears?
©2009clarencecbess
Untitled #23
The inescapable truth
Is that my meadow's run dry
Gone to the sky unbound;
I wait for the rain
To return it to me
Quench my drought
To let spring forth
The foliage of comprehension
It's roots of wisdom
Embedded
Deep in the soil of my conscience...
The unfortunate belief
Is that my soul's wilted
Pruned to petrification
A hardened stone
Where crystalline wishes
Beg reunion to the joy of God
Ever-present
But slow to a point
Of stillness...
©2009clarencecbess
Is that my meadow's run dry
Gone to the sky unbound;
I wait for the rain
To return it to me
Quench my drought
To let spring forth
The foliage of comprehension
It's roots of wisdom
Embedded
Deep in the soil of my conscience...
The unfortunate belief
Is that my soul's wilted
Pruned to petrification
A hardened stone
Where crystalline wishes
Beg reunion to the joy of God
Ever-present
But slow to a point
Of stillness...
©2009clarencecbess
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
November
New day, same 'ol shit.
The loss for words continues.
My hunger frustrates.
&
From out of the blue.
Into my thoughts and words.
I now read to you.
©2009clarencecbess
The loss for words continues.
My hunger frustrates.
&
From out of the blue.
Into my thoughts and words.
I now read to you.
©2009clarencecbess
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Looking For Inspiration
My time is running out, and there are too many decisions to be made...
"Looking For Inspiration"
Looking for inspiration
I see faces
Try to close my eyes
To avoid theirs
So I may listen to the world
Moving along always
At a quicker pace than I can run.
Looking for inspiration
I ask my heart for it's pleasures
And the fear it conceals from my soul
Who seeks to join the quest
For the spark
To ignite the moment
Where sight and sound
Reality and dream
Combine
And my pen is awakened
To spill forth contents
Of frozen understanding.
Looking for inspiration
I worry that I pass
Over the very desire
An opportunity unknown
But no less powerful
In the realm of possibility;
Worry
In my pursuit of the world
Eventually decisions will have to be made
Stood upon
As to what force will compel me
For now there is teetering balance
As I look for inspiration
But fear truly finding it...
©2009clarencecbess
"Looking For Inspiration"
Looking for inspiration
I see faces
Try to close my eyes
To avoid theirs
So I may listen to the world
Moving along always
At a quicker pace than I can run.
Looking for inspiration
I ask my heart for it's pleasures
And the fear it conceals from my soul
Who seeks to join the quest
For the spark
To ignite the moment
Where sight and sound
Reality and dream
Combine
And my pen is awakened
To spill forth contents
Of frozen understanding.
Looking for inspiration
I worry that I pass
Over the very desire
An opportunity unknown
But no less powerful
In the realm of possibility;
Worry
In my pursuit of the world
Eventually decisions will have to be made
Stood upon
As to what force will compel me
For now there is teetering balance
As I look for inspiration
But fear truly finding it...
©2009clarencecbess
Friday, October 23, 2009
A Minute To Finish
This piece about a student is dedicated to educators everywhere.... Also a BIG thanks to AC for inspiring it.
"A Minute To Finish"
I'm giving her a minute to finish
Because society
In it's dysfunctional delusion
Has allowed her
Her parents
And too many others
The lie of time
With dwindling responsibility.
She bounds up and down
With her mouth
Skips and prances
And it sickens me
This regurgitation of example
Clearly learned in other places
Placated by a cute smile
And the fact that someone
Wants her to believe she's a princess
(Goddamn Disney)...
I'm giving her a minute to finish
Before mentally reaching out
To strangle her
As 'Mr. Bess!' is repeated for the 500th time
Because despite the fact
That I'm helping someone who
Wants
To learn
She feels to the point of annoyance
That by doing so
As with home
Someone will give in
Bow to her demands
Voiced with a shrill nuisance
That makes me shiver.
I'm giving her a minute
Because I don't want to yell
Naively still thinking
That maybe she'll understand my silence
Hear it as the rattle in the weeds
Steering clear of the bite
That longs to deliver
A potent dose of reality
That I know wouldn't kill
But sting just enough
To silence her momentarily.
But for now
I'm enjoying her mental strangulation
And besides
I am giving her a minute to finish...
©2009clarencecbess
"A Minute To Finish"
I'm giving her a minute to finish
Because society
In it's dysfunctional delusion
Has allowed her
Her parents
And too many others
The lie of time
With dwindling responsibility.
She bounds up and down
With her mouth
Skips and prances
And it sickens me
This regurgitation of example
Clearly learned in other places
Placated by a cute smile
And the fact that someone
Wants her to believe she's a princess
(Goddamn Disney)...
I'm giving her a minute to finish
Before mentally reaching out
To strangle her
As 'Mr. Bess!' is repeated for the 500th time
Because despite the fact
That I'm helping someone who
Wants
To learn
She feels to the point of annoyance
That by doing so
As with home
Someone will give in
Bow to her demands
Voiced with a shrill nuisance
That makes me shiver.
I'm giving her a minute
Because I don't want to yell
Naively still thinking
That maybe she'll understand my silence
Hear it as the rattle in the weeds
Steering clear of the bite
That longs to deliver
A potent dose of reality
That I know wouldn't kill
But sting just enough
To silence her momentarily.
But for now
I'm enjoying her mental strangulation
And besides
I am giving her a minute to finish...
©2009clarencecbess
Bags
Good morning.
Sun in her eyes
She squints
One stop at a time
Too much reality
In the receipt she studies
Of the dwindling paycheck
Survival;
One too many bags
Four in fact
Under eyes
Under arms
Resting next to her
Filled with the collections
That persist
In the human condition.
Bags
On the backs of children
Lugging expectations
Histories
Central to that American pursuit
Testing
Hoping not to be left behind
In the lottery line of funding
As education flies away
To privately nest in better trees
Next to better springs
Which freely flow
With the assumption of safety
In sparsity
And clear night skies
Where stars hang bare
Revealing their beauty.
Bags
Between my legs
So my back can rest
Falling apart
Just like hers
Like theirs
Overstuffed
With the dangerous appetites
Of self and secrecy...
©2009clarencecbess
Sun in her eyes
She squints
One stop at a time
Too much reality
In the receipt she studies
Of the dwindling paycheck
Survival;
One too many bags
Four in fact
Under eyes
Under arms
Resting next to her
Filled with the collections
That persist
In the human condition.
Bags
On the backs of children
Lugging expectations
Histories
Central to that American pursuit
Testing
Hoping not to be left behind
In the lottery line of funding
As education flies away
To privately nest in better trees
Next to better springs
Which freely flow
With the assumption of safety
In sparsity
And clear night skies
Where stars hang bare
Revealing their beauty.
Bags
Between my legs
So my back can rest
Falling apart
Just like hers
Like theirs
Overstuffed
With the dangerous appetites
Of self and secrecy...
©2009clarencecbess
Friday, October 16, 2009
But There Is Love
He of crossed fingers
Deliberately fidgeting about
She of focus upon a single page
They of variously bowed heads
Remind me of an argument
I once witnessed
Between aunt and uncle
Young and frustrated;
This is the result
Of never talking about it
Of waiting too long
After the shades of puberty
Of culture
Descend
But one wants
Needs
Feels
They must have it
Because the alternative
Is me
Staring
Longing
Wishing
Needing
Wanting
With
Selfish loathing
Anger
Frustration
Because the thin line
Between loneliness and alone
Grows thinner
Transparent
With each broken heart.
He of attempt
She of denial
A delicate dance
As he takes her hand
Limp with disapproval;
He with the beard
Momentarily split
As he vocalizes
She with the twitch
And hand removed
As fingers to her mouth
Denote held back tears
From eyes that scan
Or so I think
The single page
Maybe single word
As she thinks of response
To her public private lashing...
But there is love
As there is smile upon my face
Because if I can't have it
At least I can recognize it
And that gives me hope
For myself
Though easier witnessed
Than done.
He of continuation
She of the exodus
As handles to his paper bags break
And her plastic holds strong;
He of balance
As contents are split
Evened
To make easier of weight
For the inevitably long stroll
They will have together home
No doubt hand-in-hand
Mentally
If not physically
Because though I can make poetry
Of a shared twenty-five minutes
It takes longer to make resolution...
But there is love between them
Now
As there was before
With them
And I'm jealous as hell...
©2009clarencecbess
Deliberately fidgeting about
She of focus upon a single page
They of variously bowed heads
Remind me of an argument
I once witnessed
Between aunt and uncle
Young and frustrated;
This is the result
Of never talking about it
Of waiting too long
After the shades of puberty
Of culture
Descend
But one wants
Needs
Feels
They must have it
Because the alternative
Is me
Staring
Longing
Wishing
Needing
Wanting
With
Selfish loathing
Anger
Frustration
Because the thin line
Between loneliness and alone
Grows thinner
Transparent
With each broken heart.
He of attempt
She of denial
A delicate dance
As he takes her hand
Limp with disapproval;
He with the beard
Momentarily split
As he vocalizes
She with the twitch
And hand removed
As fingers to her mouth
Denote held back tears
From eyes that scan
Or so I think
The single page
Maybe single word
As she thinks of response
To her public private lashing...
But there is love
As there is smile upon my face
Because if I can't have it
At least I can recognize it
And that gives me hope
For myself
Though easier witnessed
Than done.
He of continuation
She of the exodus
As handles to his paper bags break
And her plastic holds strong;
He of balance
As contents are split
Evened
To make easier of weight
For the inevitably long stroll
They will have together home
No doubt hand-in-hand
Mentally
If not physically
Because though I can make poetry
Of a shared twenty-five minutes
It takes longer to make resolution...
But there is love between them
Now
As there was before
With them
And I'm jealous as hell...
©2009clarencecbess
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
24 Fantastic
Just another day in the hood...
"24 Fantastic"
Somewhere
Beyond windows passed
Someone is sleeping
As attentions are sought
In the steady rotation
Of red and blue
With the usual bloated suits
Attending to the lone stranger
Facing away
Contemplating the moment come...
It's bound to happen right?
Children fixate
Pulled away only
By the MSG
Of chicken wings and fried rice
Dealt every-other corner
To bomb every-other bowl
Because mama has to work
Extra-late
On the second job
For that pair of blue religions
They swear were true
But not for a home-cooked meal
She wouldn't even know
Were it placed directly under her nose...
A man walks swiftly by this scene
He couldn't be bothered
Like water off a duck's back
He lets it fall away
Focusing on point B
The smirk on his face telling me
Aint nothin' changed but the date
Here
There
Everywhere he turns
Another set of Blue and reds to greet him
Remind him
Of the products
Of the 24 fantastic
Coming and going
Dressed in a lack of urgency
With a pocket full of truth
Because escape
Hasn't really been possible
Since the Mason-Dixon line really mattered...
©2009clarencecbess
"24 Fantastic"
Somewhere
Beyond windows passed
Someone is sleeping
As attentions are sought
In the steady rotation
Of red and blue
With the usual bloated suits
Attending to the lone stranger
Facing away
Contemplating the moment come...
It's bound to happen right?
Children fixate
Pulled away only
By the MSG
Of chicken wings and fried rice
Dealt every-other corner
To bomb every-other bowl
Because mama has to work
Extra-late
On the second job
For that pair of blue religions
They swear were true
But not for a home-cooked meal
She wouldn't even know
Were it placed directly under her nose...
A man walks swiftly by this scene
He couldn't be bothered
Like water off a duck's back
He lets it fall away
Focusing on point B
The smirk on his face telling me
Aint nothin' changed but the date
Here
There
Everywhere he turns
Another set of Blue and reds to greet him
Remind him
Of the products
Of the 24 fantastic
Coming and going
Dressed in a lack of urgency
With a pocket full of truth
Because escape
Hasn't really been possible
Since the Mason-Dixon line really mattered...
©2009clarencecbess
Friday, October 9, 2009
Buckle
Hea
Ven
Help
Me
As
I
Bu
Ckle
Slow
Ly
Fal
Ling
Out
Of
My
Mind
Drip
Drip
Time
Slips
Pres
Sure's
Moun
Ting
I
Am
Coun
Ting
Mass
De
Struc
Tion
On
My
Time
Piece
Peace's
An
Il
Lu
Sion
Clocked
On
The
Time
Card
Taxed
No
De
Duc
Tion
Off
Of
The
Con
Scious
Me
Lo
Dy
Scrump
Tious
Drip
Drip
I
Slip
Trip
On
The
Ab
Duc
Tion
Of
My
Pri
Ma
Ry
Func
Tion
Trapped
In
The
Stran
Gle
Hold
I'm
Un
A
Ble
To
Re
Turn
To
The
Ta
Ble
Feast
U
Pon
A
Bi
Li
Ty
Bu
Ckled
Try
Ing
To
For
Get
Me...
©2009clarencecbess
Ven
Help
Me
As
I
Bu
Ckle
Slow
Ly
Fal
Ling
Out
Of
My
Mind
Drip
Drip
Time
Slips
Pres
Sure's
Moun
Ting
I
Am
Coun
Ting
Mass
De
Struc
Tion
On
My
Time
Piece
Peace's
An
Il
Lu
Sion
Clocked
On
The
Time
Card
Taxed
No
De
Duc
Tion
Off
Of
The
Con
Scious
Me
Lo
Dy
Scrump
Tious
Drip
Drip
I
Slip
Trip
On
The
Ab
Duc
Tion
Of
My
Pri
Ma
Ry
Func
Tion
Trapped
In
The
Stran
Gle
Hold
I'm
Un
A
Ble
To
Re
Turn
To
The
Ta
Ble
Feast
U
Pon
A
Bi
Li
Ty
Bu
Ckled
Try
Ing
To
For
Get
Me...
©2009clarencecbess
Denied
Denied
Sweetest history
As soon as you took
Your heart away from me
Crimson sapphire burns
Now in this cavity
Denied
Denied
Purest ecstasy
Of touch gentle
As a newborn breeze
Across
My skin so quietly
Denied
Denied
Here in misery
Without you loving me
Lavender soul
Lost in the search
Of completing
Denied
Denied
Left with only dreams
Shadows
Golden memories
My mind makes
To comfort me
Always
Denied
Denied
Who will sing for me?
Stare across
In silence understanding me?
My truths
My fantasies
Denied
Denied
Stolen away from me
On fear
Of you loving me
I'll go
With possibility
You weren't meant to be
Denied
©2009clarencecbess
Sweetest history
As soon as you took
Your heart away from me
Crimson sapphire burns
Now in this cavity
Denied
Denied
Purest ecstasy
Of touch gentle
As a newborn breeze
Across
My skin so quietly
Denied
Denied
Here in misery
Without you loving me
Lavender soul
Lost in the search
Of completing
Denied
Denied
Left with only dreams
Shadows
Golden memories
My mind makes
To comfort me
Always
Denied
Denied
Who will sing for me?
Stare across
In silence understanding me?
My truths
My fantasies
Denied
Denied
Stolen away from me
On fear
Of you loving me
I'll go
With possibility
You weren't meant to be
Denied
©2009clarencecbess
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
Comfortable Strangers
We know each other, but will we ever truly KNOW each other...
For dad.
"Comfortable Strangers"
Comfortable strangers
Uncomfortable dreams
Revelations of truth
Through any and every thing;
At the back of a heart
Desire still lies
Holding on
But fading to zero
Beneath rotating skies;
Underneath these words
A comfortable stranger
Lost in crowds
Of attempt and failure
As uncomfortable eyes
Haunt in dreams
Of cloudy skies
Bringing about a winter of things
Lost within uncomfortable wonder
Whether they'll taste the light
At some point together
Beyond flesh's plight.
Comfortable strangers
Mysteries unsolved
While staring at mirrors
And the multiple images made
In the cracks of resolve
Maybe forgotten
Maybe just dreams
As comfortable strangers
Reside in their excuses for things
Almost never spoken
With a silence that pierces
Louder than screams
Echoing within
The chambers of uncomfortable souls
Attempting to justify
Consequences
Of releasing to hold...
©2009clarencecbess
For dad.
"Comfortable Strangers"
Comfortable strangers
Uncomfortable dreams
Revelations of truth
Through any and every thing;
At the back of a heart
Desire still lies
Holding on
But fading to zero
Beneath rotating skies;
Underneath these words
A comfortable stranger
Lost in crowds
Of attempt and failure
As uncomfortable eyes
Haunt in dreams
Of cloudy skies
Bringing about a winter of things
Lost within uncomfortable wonder
Whether they'll taste the light
At some point together
Beyond flesh's plight.
Comfortable strangers
Mysteries unsolved
While staring at mirrors
And the multiple images made
In the cracks of resolve
Maybe forgotten
Maybe just dreams
As comfortable strangers
Reside in their excuses for things
Almost never spoken
With a silence that pierces
Louder than screams
Echoing within
The chambers of uncomfortable souls
Attempting to justify
Consequences
Of releasing to hold...
©2009clarencecbess
Thursday, October 1, 2009
Veins
Veins
Too old the blood?
She holds innocent pink
Crying in this late hour
Too young
To feel the late drudge
Reality
Underneath lights
Too
Bright
Too
Revealing
Of the inescapable path
Born of conception
Mitosis
And development
Of yet another soul
Cast upon the world;
Veins
She cries in communication
Too
Late the hour
Too many eyes upon her
Mine
Analyzing
Formulating
A future
Present
Past
Through words
And veins
Dripping
Flowing
Splitting
Crimson desire
Verses florescent certainty
Here
Then
Now
Tomorrow
As I attempt to educate
Those
Knowing more
In this moment
Than I did or will...
I can't let her get away
Too
Fast
Before she is veins
Too
Old
Too
Spoiled
Too
Struggle
Too much of everything
Lost and forgotten
As the child born
But never existing...
©2009clarencecbess
Too old the blood?
She holds innocent pink
Crying in this late hour
Too young
To feel the late drudge
Reality
Underneath lights
Too
Bright
Too
Revealing
Of the inescapable path
Born of conception
Mitosis
And development
Of yet another soul
Cast upon the world;
Veins
She cries in communication
Too
Late the hour
Too many eyes upon her
Mine
Analyzing
Formulating
A future
Present
Past
Through words
And veins
Dripping
Flowing
Splitting
Crimson desire
Verses florescent certainty
Here
Then
Now
Tomorrow
As I attempt to educate
Those
Knowing more
In this moment
Than I did or will...
I can't let her get away
Too
Fast
Before she is veins
Too
Old
Too
Spoiled
Too
Struggle
Too much of everything
Lost and forgotten
As the child born
But never existing...
©2009clarencecbess
October
Silence was broken.
Truth lay in shards around me.
Everywhere there's noise.
&
Heaven's trick or treat?
Contemplate the sweets I want.
Pray for no razors.
©2009clarencecbess
Truth lay in shards around me.
Everywhere there's noise.
&
Heaven's trick or treat?
Contemplate the sweets I want.
Pray for no razors.
©2009clarencecbess
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Do It
Ever have your heart skip a beat?
"Do It"
Do it
Take me under your spell
Prove it
That you want me as well
As I want you too
Do it
Again
Just like at the start
Like friends
Know
The other will be in their heart
I'll
Do it
To you
If you'll do it too
Prove it
My soul's feelings are true
That you
Could do it
How ever you wanted to
Remain here in my heart
Where the loving will never part
Ah
You
Do it
Already again to my mind
Can't explain
Feelings
Arising with short the time
I've known
Stared into those eyes
Known
To have you is worth the try
To
Do it...
©2009clarencecbess
"Do It"
Do it
Take me under your spell
Prove it
That you want me as well
As I want you too
Do it
Again
Just like at the start
Like friends
Know
The other will be in their heart
I'll
Do it
To you
If you'll do it too
Prove it
My soul's feelings are true
That you
Could do it
How ever you wanted to
Remain here in my heart
Where the loving will never part
Ah
You
Do it
Already again to my mind
Can't explain
Feelings
Arising with short the time
I've known
Stared into those eyes
Known
To have you is worth the try
To
Do it...
©2009clarencecbess
Assumptions
Not sure where this one came from. It started out one way and turned into something different, which is quite typical of me...
"Assumptions"
Shit me
Cut me
Over fuck me
Assumptions that I could love you
Hold me close
Erase my tears
That you could love me
Is the bitter fear
Spank me
Wank me
Under pay me
Assumptions I don't know my worth
As you chide me
Thank me
Push me out your door
That I could love me
Is the bitter fear
Tat me
Pierce me
Assumptions I am pure
Born a being
Die a boy
Live as man
Seek to destroy
That I could rule thee
Is the bitter fear
5'-10"
7.5
(Cut)
Educated
Well-spoken
Assumptions I'm the same
Dark features
Curly hair
That I'm a black man
Is the bitter fear
Walk me
Run me
Chase me
Assumptions I'll just go away
Into corner liquor stores
Cigarette ads
Welfare agencies
Or maybe football fields
B-ball domes
The ever-present hip-hop video
Assumptions same
That you could be right
Is my bitter fear...
©2009clarencecbess
"Assumptions"
Shit me
Cut me
Over fuck me
Assumptions that I could love you
Hold me close
Erase my tears
That you could love me
Is the bitter fear
Spank me
Wank me
Under pay me
Assumptions I don't know my worth
As you chide me
Thank me
Push me out your door
That I could love me
Is the bitter fear
Tat me
Pierce me
Assumptions I am pure
Born a being
Die a boy
Live as man
Seek to destroy
That I could rule thee
Is the bitter fear
5'-10"
7.5
(Cut)
Educated
Well-spoken
Assumptions I'm the same
Dark features
Curly hair
That I'm a black man
Is the bitter fear
Walk me
Run me
Chase me
Assumptions I'll just go away
Into corner liquor stores
Cigarette ads
Welfare agencies
Or maybe football fields
B-ball domes
The ever-present hip-hop video
Assumptions same
That you could be right
Is my bitter fear...
©2009clarencecbess
Monday, September 21, 2009
Stops
I was going through my journals when I came across this one. Not an old one, but it amazes me sometimes when it comes to the stuff I forget about. I read it remembering that I never considered it finished, and found much to my surprise that it seemed to be fine just as it was... you be the judge!
"Stops"
Twelve.
It feels empty
Yet ghost of the past
Years and then days
Speak.
Twelve.
Strain and squeals
Old with the new
Domestic
Abroad
It's fourteen with two
Leaving their mark
On these pages written
Forgotten otherwise
In the contrasting shades
Of the underground.
Nassau
Eleven
Then twenty-three faces
Unknown with the lights
Passing at thirty;
Work maybe home
The obligatory look
From number sixteen
Contrasting shade.
Now it's nineteen
Yet I focus to one
His pale eye
A story unsung
Between his graying beard
Hardened face
Going unnoticed
I forget twenty through four.
Despite the faces that past
It feels empty
With stops
One to the last...
©2009clarencecbess
"Stops"
Twelve.
It feels empty
Yet ghost of the past
Years and then days
Speak.
Twelve.
Strain and squeals
Old with the new
Domestic
Abroad
It's fourteen with two
Leaving their mark
On these pages written
Forgotten otherwise
In the contrasting shades
Of the underground.
Nassau
Eleven
Then twenty-three faces
Unknown with the lights
Passing at thirty;
Work maybe home
The obligatory look
From number sixteen
Contrasting shade.
Now it's nineteen
Yet I focus to one
His pale eye
A story unsung
Between his graying beard
Hardened face
Going unnoticed
I forget twenty through four.
Despite the faces that past
It feels empty
With stops
One to the last...
©2009clarencecbess
Instant
This is an old piece. Circa 2007. With the way the weather has been lately, I found this the perfect time to finally put this piece to digital format. As always, enjoy...
"Instant"
I stop to see
The changing trees
A chill so plush
It welcomes me
Into the fall
Death of it all
And I am just all
Transported back
Beyond the need
To simpler times
Positivity
To making moves
To upright stand
Out amongst the crowds
Going about;
I smell the blaze
Rustling near
Finding it queer
That shades could steer me
Deep to thought
Of colors strong;
A gold embrace
Of summers gone
The red rebellion
To a winter long
The saffron acceptance
Of a changing scene
The timber brown
As nature sleeps
A sullen gray
For the clouds that weep
Crystalline tears
I'll let melt upon my tongue
As I try to catch them
Like my dreams that run
Attempt escape from me
Just as easy my breath;
I stop to be one with time
Staring around
At the fine canvas
That becomes our lives
Listening to the notes
Our footfalls produce
In the infinite consciousness
That becomes
The sheet music of our hearts;
A stranger to myself
Waiting for the quiet of winter
So I may explore
Without judgment
Surroundings I'm not privy to
Because when the world is naked
It is the best time to see
As it attempts to hide it's shame
Beneath blankets of snow
That only melt away
As the harshness of reality goes on
And God seeks to forgive us;
Again
I stop
Connecting with the universe
In a single moment
As a leaf falls to my feet
The cycle of all things
Expressed
Revealed
In such a simplistic scene;
I stop
Going on again
Looking to perfection
And the understanding
That it only exist
In the acceptance
That nothing is
Ever was
Or shall be
But that the beauty
Is what I see
Out of the corner of my eye
That hurried vision
As colors blur
Leaves fall
Scents come
Quiet calls
Leaving all...
Perfect.
©2007clarencecbess
"Instant"
I stop to see
The changing trees
A chill so plush
It welcomes me
Into the fall
Death of it all
And I am just all
Transported back
Beyond the need
To simpler times
Positivity
To making moves
To upright stand
Out amongst the crowds
Going about;
I smell the blaze
Rustling near
Finding it queer
That shades could steer me
Deep to thought
Of colors strong;
A gold embrace
Of summers gone
The red rebellion
To a winter long
The saffron acceptance
Of a changing scene
The timber brown
As nature sleeps
A sullen gray
For the clouds that weep
Crystalline tears
I'll let melt upon my tongue
As I try to catch them
Like my dreams that run
Attempt escape from me
Just as easy my breath;
I stop to be one with time
Staring around
At the fine canvas
That becomes our lives
Listening to the notes
Our footfalls produce
In the infinite consciousness
That becomes
The sheet music of our hearts;
A stranger to myself
Waiting for the quiet of winter
So I may explore
Without judgment
Surroundings I'm not privy to
Because when the world is naked
It is the best time to see
As it attempts to hide it's shame
Beneath blankets of snow
That only melt away
As the harshness of reality goes on
And God seeks to forgive us;
Again
I stop
Connecting with the universe
In a single moment
As a leaf falls to my feet
The cycle of all things
Expressed
Revealed
In such a simplistic scene;
I stop
Going on again
Looking to perfection
And the understanding
That it only exist
In the acceptance
That nothing is
Ever was
Or shall be
But that the beauty
Is what I see
Out of the corner of my eye
That hurried vision
As colors blur
Leaves fall
Scents come
Quiet calls
Leaving all...
Perfect.
©2007clarencecbess
Sunday, September 20, 2009
Simple Songs
I'd really love to write a simple song
But it never works that way
Not with colors
The way they won't bend
Should I tell my children
It'll be alright?
Knowing full well
No amount of hope
Or pennies in a well
Will make it right
I'd really love to write a simple song
But I'm at a loss
Because functionally
Equality and reality just don't mix
It's enough to make you go round and round
Mentally
Up and down
Simple songs
How now they escape man
Wish we could just
Stop
Collect ourselves
Slow down
Diminish the needs
Hum a simple melody
That way words could come
Rainbows could bend
Somehow momentarily
Unbinding the world
Of all it's greed
So everybody can sing
And I can listen in the joy they bring
Tangible
Wrapped around me
A coat of love
Round and round
Knowing this is where I belong
Lost in the lines
Of simple songs...
©2009clarencecbess
But it never works that way
Not with colors
The way they won't bend
Should I tell my children
It'll be alright?
Knowing full well
No amount of hope
Or pennies in a well
Will make it right
I'd really love to write a simple song
But I'm at a loss
Because functionally
Equality and reality just don't mix
It's enough to make you go round and round
Mentally
Up and down
Simple songs
How now they escape man
Wish we could just
Stop
Collect ourselves
Slow down
Diminish the needs
Hum a simple melody
That way words could come
Rainbows could bend
Somehow momentarily
Unbinding the world
Of all it's greed
So everybody can sing
And I can listen in the joy they bring
Tangible
Wrapped around me
A coat of love
Round and round
Knowing this is where I belong
Lost in the lines
Of simple songs...
©2009clarencecbess
Carousel Of Being
When was the last time
Simple
Was simple?
I was on a tune
Light as a breeze
Innocent
Universal
I thought
Aren't I lucky
To have actually had a childhood
To run and play
Without distraction
And the harsh realities of adulthood
Upon my feet
In my eyes;
I look at children today
And somehow
They're older
No more wiser than I was
But far older in their youth
It's like
A young Michael singing
'People Make The World Go Round'
Pain and heart beyond one's years
Except the notes are seen
None-the-less beautiful
Bringing tears
Because it's dangerous
To know the world too soon;
But I can't help to wonder
With their eyes around me
Was I the same as a child?
In someone else' eyes?
Is it just a carousel?
Round and round
As I'm standing there
Beyond and ticket-less
Wishing...
©2009clarencecbess
Simple
Was simple?
I was on a tune
Light as a breeze
Innocent
Universal
I thought
Aren't I lucky
To have actually had a childhood
To run and play
Without distraction
And the harsh realities of adulthood
Upon my feet
In my eyes;
I look at children today
And somehow
They're older
No more wiser than I was
But far older in their youth
It's like
A young Michael singing
'People Make The World Go Round'
Pain and heart beyond one's years
Except the notes are seen
None-the-less beautiful
Bringing tears
Because it's dangerous
To know the world too soon;
But I can't help to wonder
With their eyes around me
Was I the same as a child?
In someone else' eyes?
Is it just a carousel?
Round and round
As I'm standing there
Beyond and ticket-less
Wishing...
©2009clarencecbess
Monday, September 14, 2009
Bitter Certainty?
What's to be the truth?
Heaven or hell?
If it's all left up to you
Should I be
As you should with me
Worried?
Tired of man's fantasies
Tired of his dreams
Spawning all that brings to ruin
Among his beautiful possibilities...
What's to be the lie
That you're feeding me
As to why should we
Follow blind through and through
Without asking things
About what you do?
Tired of the dream
Tired of the lies
Tried of getting by
In your fantasy
While trying to make some room
For my own dreams
Possibilities;
If it's all left up to you
Should I be
As you should with me
Worried?
If I left it up to you
Would I be
Part of reality?
If I had to save a few
What then
Would be your point-of-view?
That's the trouble with the dream
Too much is left
Up to questioning
And a human being
Who walks the line
Claiming mortal
While ruling as divine
In a fantasy
That does not include
Who we truly are
But what we want of we
Ruining
Our beautiful
Possibilities...
So what's to be the truth?
©2009clarencecbess
Heaven or hell?
If it's all left up to you
Should I be
As you should with me
Worried?
Tired of man's fantasies
Tired of his dreams
Spawning all that brings to ruin
Among his beautiful possibilities...
What's to be the lie
That you're feeding me
As to why should we
Follow blind through and through
Without asking things
About what you do?
Tired of the dream
Tired of the lies
Tried of getting by
In your fantasy
While trying to make some room
For my own dreams
Possibilities;
If it's all left up to you
Should I be
As you should with me
Worried?
If I left it up to you
Would I be
Part of reality?
If I had to save a few
What then
Would be your point-of-view?
That's the trouble with the dream
Too much is left
Up to questioning
And a human being
Who walks the line
Claiming mortal
While ruling as divine
In a fantasy
That does not include
Who we truly are
But what we want of we
Ruining
Our beautiful
Possibilities...
So what's to be the truth?
©2009clarencecbess
Sunday, September 13, 2009
Quarreling With Myself
This poem is for Akili who turned me on to a W.B. Yates quote that I couldn't get out of my head..
"Quarreling With Myself"
I got into an argument with myself
Thinking about yesterday
Today
And trying to answer tomorrow;
I brought up a few good points
Only to have me rebuke
In a selfish attempt
To protect the fantasies
I bound in and out of
To avoid too much damage from the world
Before long
There was so much yelling
My head began to swell
Capillaries burst
And my soul began to drip
Swiftly with purpose;
As I couldn't let my essence drift away
I captured it
Held it lovingly in my hands
Where it remained until there was quiet
I picked up a pen releasing the flow
Moving past the rhetoric
Into the songs
That became of my screams
Understanding truths
Giving presence to my dreams...
©2009clarencecbess
"Quarreling With Myself"
I got into an argument with myself
Thinking about yesterday
Today
And trying to answer tomorrow;
I brought up a few good points
Only to have me rebuke
In a selfish attempt
To protect the fantasies
I bound in and out of
To avoid too much damage from the world
Before long
There was so much yelling
My head began to swell
Capillaries burst
And my soul began to drip
Swiftly with purpose;
As I couldn't let my essence drift away
I captured it
Held it lovingly in my hands
Where it remained until there was quiet
I picked up a pen releasing the flow
Moving past the rhetoric
Into the songs
That became of my screams
Understanding truths
Giving presence to my dreams...
©2009clarencecbess
Friday, September 11, 2009
Too Late Tonight For Glory
Contemplating stories
I'm awake too late tonight
Longing for the blanket
Of death that waits in sleep
Listening for the glories
That I can only dream
As I contemplate the stories
To tell my soul's undoing
The simplest of pleasures
Always out of reach
Longing for a time when
I can truly sleep
I'm awake too late
Far too many times
Contemplating worries
Their nightmares to descend
To tell my soul's undoing
In this time and space I'm in
My waist is getting weary
From the imbalance I digest
My soles they beg to rest
As I contemplate the stories
I'll dream in sleep tonight
Or is it early morning?
I can't tell underneath these lights
Waiting for descent
As the madness slips and stays
And nothing I type makes sense.
Too late tonight for glory...
©2009clarencecbess
I'm awake too late tonight
Longing for the blanket
Of death that waits in sleep
Listening for the glories
That I can only dream
As I contemplate the stories
To tell my soul's undoing
The simplest of pleasures
Always out of reach
Longing for a time when
I can truly sleep
I'm awake too late
Far too many times
Contemplating worries
Their nightmares to descend
To tell my soul's undoing
In this time and space I'm in
My waist is getting weary
From the imbalance I digest
My soles they beg to rest
As I contemplate the stories
I'll dream in sleep tonight
Or is it early morning?
I can't tell underneath these lights
Waiting for descent
As the madness slips and stays
And nothing I type makes sense.
Too late tonight for glory...
©2009clarencecbess
High
Could longing be the greatest aphrodisiac?
"High"
Come and tell me you love me
Get me high
Come and touch me
Tell me you want me
Make it right
Bring me flowers
Bring me your rain
Bring me sunshine
Let me know your pain
Come and tell me you love me
Touch me
Kiss me
And get me high
Don't you play me
Just stroke me
Make it right
Bring me heaven
Let me know you'll stay
Through the nightfall
To the start of day
As you kiss me
Slip away
And make me high
Come and tell me you love me
Get me high
Come and show me
You want we
Make this right
Bring me your soul
Your honesty
And I'll give you everything you please
Bring me passion
I'll give you joy
Come and breathe me
Free me
And let's get high...
©2009clarencecbess
"High"
Come and tell me you love me
Get me high
Come and touch me
Tell me you want me
Make it right
Bring me flowers
Bring me your rain
Bring me sunshine
Let me know your pain
Come and tell me you love me
Touch me
Kiss me
And get me high
Don't you play me
Just stroke me
Make it right
Bring me heaven
Let me know you'll stay
Through the nightfall
To the start of day
As you kiss me
Slip away
And make me high
Come and tell me you love me
Get me high
Come and show me
You want we
Make this right
Bring me your soul
Your honesty
And I'll give you everything you please
Bring me passion
I'll give you joy
Come and breathe me
Free me
And let's get high...
©2009clarencecbess
Blanks
Dedicated to the curious...
"Blanks"
She told me
I didn't have to be that way
That it saddened her
Them
To lose the qualities which lay within
Me
Us;
Guilt rose within a part of me
The part old
Dusty
Tucked away
But loved to the point
You can't bare to dispose of it;
It rose
Because despite my level of acceptance
There are still dreams
I dare to dream
Which slip away with each newly lit candle
Into a darkness I've never understood
Along trails of smoke
Fashioned from singed barrels
Aimed into nothingness
The pungent smell of futility
Lingering in my rooms
Saturating my clothes
emanating from my very being
In her eyes
Theirs
Making me want to crawl back to the womb
Deny procreation
Because choice never bestowed
Brings about Agony
Each time
She
They
In sadness away explain
My complicated existence;
Shooting blanks
I take aim again...
©2009clarencecbess
"Blanks"
She told me
I didn't have to be that way
That it saddened her
Them
To lose the qualities which lay within
Me
Us;
Guilt rose within a part of me
The part old
Dusty
Tucked away
But loved to the point
You can't bare to dispose of it;
It rose
Because despite my level of acceptance
There are still dreams
I dare to dream
Which slip away with each newly lit candle
Into a darkness I've never understood
Along trails of smoke
Fashioned from singed barrels
Aimed into nothingness
The pungent smell of futility
Lingering in my rooms
Saturating my clothes
emanating from my very being
In her eyes
Theirs
Making me want to crawl back to the womb
Deny procreation
Because choice never bestowed
Brings about Agony
Each time
She
They
In sadness away explain
My complicated existence;
Shooting blanks
I take aim again...
©2009clarencecbess
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
Remote Access
Though spawned of a moment, I do believe this piece also has something to do with a brief conversation my sister and I had the other day. I think it started when I said to her, "...you know me, I've always talked better to myself than anyone else."
"Remote Access"
This morning while waiting on the train
I suddenly wished
That I'd grown up in New York;
I watched the students
Book-bags in tow
Watched turnstiles
Turn
Heard those clickity-clicks
As each new soul was admitted
And the platform filled
Overstuffed;
I saw different colors
Biological
Material
And though I appreciate
Now
Much of my youth
It dawned on me
The universal theme
To my state-of-mind
Isolation;
I wished I'd grown up in New York
Because here
There's escape
I could turn my head in any direction
With the inevitable joy
Of the knowledge
That I'm bound to see someone like
Me;
That's it
Not the shows
Not the parks
Tall buildings
Or convenient subway
Just the fact I could be
Me
Without feeling alone
Lonely in a belief
That I would never look into knowing eyes
Shared story
Be accepted just because
That
Is the New York state-of-mind...
©2009clarencecbess
"Remote Access"
This morning while waiting on the train
I suddenly wished
That I'd grown up in New York;
I watched the students
Book-bags in tow
Watched turnstiles
Turn
Heard those clickity-clicks
As each new soul was admitted
And the platform filled
Overstuffed;
I saw different colors
Biological
Material
And though I appreciate
Now
Much of my youth
It dawned on me
The universal theme
To my state-of-mind
Isolation;
I wished I'd grown up in New York
Because here
There's escape
I could turn my head in any direction
With the inevitable joy
Of the knowledge
That I'm bound to see someone like
Me;
That's it
Not the shows
Not the parks
Tall buildings
Or convenient subway
Just the fact I could be
Me
Without feeling alone
Lonely in a belief
That I would never look into knowing eyes
Shared story
Be accepted just because
That
Is the New York state-of-mind...
©2009clarencecbess
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Broken Scream
No sooner spoken
Broken
Promises volley me
Escape seems a fleeting dream
Sheer
Always on the cusp of shattering
leaving me spoken
Broken
Like records and fragile things
I collect to collect
Dust of my insipid dreams
Knew someone who gave it all away
Trekked the terra night and day
No sooner spoken
Broken
He continued on
His adventure spawning wings unsung;
Yearning to be that way
Spoken
I get lost in the shattering
As debris blankets all the things
I collect to collect
Dust of my vivid springs
Hiding under my skin
The curls of my hair
Behind the lenses I wear
No sooner broken
In order for me to truly see
I am no sooner spoken
Before broken
As a whisper from a scream...
©2009clarencecbess
Broken
Promises volley me
Escape seems a fleeting dream
Sheer
Always on the cusp of shattering
leaving me spoken
Broken
Like records and fragile things
I collect to collect
Dust of my insipid dreams
Knew someone who gave it all away
Trekked the terra night and day
No sooner spoken
Broken
He continued on
His adventure spawning wings unsung;
Yearning to be that way
Spoken
I get lost in the shattering
As debris blankets all the things
I collect to collect
Dust of my vivid springs
Hiding under my skin
The curls of my hair
Behind the lenses I wear
No sooner broken
In order for me to truly see
I am no sooner spoken
Before broken
As a whisper from a scream...
©2009clarencecbess
Monday, September 7, 2009
Solo
Being alone and being lonely are two VERY different things...
"Solo"
I'd really like to know
I'd really like to be whole
But most times I just go
Solo
I'd really like to see
I'd really like to be complete
But lovin' it aint free
So I'll go
Solo
Like the stars within the sky
You know you can't see truth
Until it's night
I'd really like to say
My heart has found a home to lay
But life it aint that way
So I'll go
Solo
I'd really like to hold
Someone other than my pillow
To fall asleep for dreams
Of things the way they've never been
Lips to kiss and touch
Eyes to know this much
That I'd rather be within
Than go
Solo
Like the stars hanging high
To see their glow
You must wait till night
Maybe this you already know
But no one ever really wants to go
Solo
©2009clarencecbess
"Solo"
I'd really like to know
I'd really like to be whole
But most times I just go
Solo
I'd really like to see
I'd really like to be complete
But lovin' it aint free
So I'll go
Solo
Like the stars within the sky
You know you can't see truth
Until it's night
I'd really like to say
My heart has found a home to lay
But life it aint that way
So I'll go
Solo
I'd really like to hold
Someone other than my pillow
To fall asleep for dreams
Of things the way they've never been
Lips to kiss and touch
Eyes to know this much
That I'd rather be within
Than go
Solo
Like the stars hanging high
To see their glow
You must wait till night
Maybe this you already know
But no one ever really wants to go
Solo
©2009clarencecbess
Thursday, September 3, 2009
About 8:40
Inspired by true events...
"About 8:40"
About 8:40
I'll arrive a little bloated
From conversations and a diet
That seesaws between healthy
And American
I'll sit for a moment
On the edge of the futon
Contemplate
How to avoid the landlord
Without having to stoop
To telling him how our entire first floor
Is shit
Literally
Avoid him
Just so the ten dollars I have left
Which should've gone to him
Can go towards accompanying
The month-old catfish of tonight's dinner.
About 8:40
I'll strip
At first my clothes
Then my thoughts
Exposing the naked truths
That I am not so bad off
Either way
All the while
Hunched over in creation
Of a new piece of my soul
Dispersed about
To keep me from talking to myself...
Too much.
About 8:40
The music will start within my mind
At first
A slow
Methodical drip
Echoing its way into a symphony
I'll conduct in the shower
As I lather
With the steady stream
Momentarily washing away
The dirt
Physical
Literal.
About 8:40
I'll split again
Lie to myself a little
Asking
How is it the oddity of me continues?
Ducking in and out of shadows
From my landlord and existence
Just to breathe
Get a little more bloated
In my attempt to balloon
Just enough
To float away free
Into 8:41
Into eternity...
©2009clarencecbess
"About 8:40"
About 8:40
I'll arrive a little bloated
From conversations and a diet
That seesaws between healthy
And American
I'll sit for a moment
On the edge of the futon
Contemplate
How to avoid the landlord
Without having to stoop
To telling him how our entire first floor
Is shit
Literally
Avoid him
Just so the ten dollars I have left
Which should've gone to him
Can go towards accompanying
The month-old catfish of tonight's dinner.
About 8:40
I'll strip
At first my clothes
Then my thoughts
Exposing the naked truths
That I am not so bad off
Either way
All the while
Hunched over in creation
Of a new piece of my soul
Dispersed about
To keep me from talking to myself...
Too much.
About 8:40
The music will start within my mind
At first
A slow
Methodical drip
Echoing its way into a symphony
I'll conduct in the shower
As I lather
With the steady stream
Momentarily washing away
The dirt
Physical
Literal.
About 8:40
I'll split again
Lie to myself a little
Asking
How is it the oddity of me continues?
Ducking in and out of shadows
From my landlord and existence
Just to breathe
Get a little more bloated
In my attempt to balloon
Just enough
To float away free
Into 8:41
Into eternity...
©2009clarencecbess
Truth
I think that God does indeed have a sick sense of humor...
"Truth"
Times I sit
Wonder why
Get caught up
That I'm denied
The eyes they wear
To see the world
Wonder why
Within my head
I must be black
For words to tread
Wonder why
It takes denied
For me to feel it's right
It's true that I
In sorrow play
It's true in blue
I do awake
But cursed am I
To be this way
Times I sit
Wonder why
Cloudy sky
Makes me high
Why I love
When there's only pain
Wonder why
Despite my tries
To play this game
It's true that I
Too many nights
End up the same
Buried in my misery
Pages deep
No sooner free
Yet it feels so right
It's true I cry
But they don't see
Wish that I
Could feel the dream
Just out of reach
I always seem
The way my mind makes it right
I've tried to love
Tried to hate
I've tried to fit
But not one bit
Ever last the night
Out of touch
And out of place
From finish to start
I run the race
That's when it feels so right...
©2009clarencecbess
"Truth"
Times I sit
Wonder why
Get caught up
That I'm denied
The eyes they wear
To see the world
Wonder why
Within my head
I must be black
For words to tread
Wonder why
It takes denied
For me to feel it's right
It's true that I
In sorrow play
It's true in blue
I do awake
But cursed am I
To be this way
Times I sit
Wonder why
Cloudy sky
Makes me high
Why I love
When there's only pain
Wonder why
Despite my tries
To play this game
It's true that I
Too many nights
End up the same
Buried in my misery
Pages deep
No sooner free
Yet it feels so right
It's true I cry
But they don't see
Wish that I
Could feel the dream
Just out of reach
I always seem
The way my mind makes it right
I've tried to love
Tried to hate
I've tried to fit
But not one bit
Ever last the night
Out of touch
And out of place
From finish to start
I run the race
That's when it feels so right...
©2009clarencecbess
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
Who What Where When & How
Who was it
That forgot to tell me everything?
The What's
Abundant
How to achieve them
Where they were located
That despite my ultimate desires
Some of them I would never posses
Because the world's favorite obsessions
Segregation and profit
Ultimately deem so
Even when it smiles
Offering the lie
"You can be all that you want to be"
Allow me to finish that...
"For a price"...
So now
I spend my time trying to figure out
How
To circumvent the obvious delusional potholes
Placed about this journey to me
The ultimate center
In which I must live
Survive
All the while compromising
For the world about me
With it's when's and where's
What and who's
Tantalizing just beyond my reach...
©2009clarencecbess
That forgot to tell me everything?
The What's
Abundant
How to achieve them
Where they were located
That despite my ultimate desires
Some of them I would never posses
Because the world's favorite obsessions
Segregation and profit
Ultimately deem so
Even when it smiles
Offering the lie
"You can be all that you want to be"
Allow me to finish that...
"For a price"...
So now
I spend my time trying to figure out
How
To circumvent the obvious delusional potholes
Placed about this journey to me
The ultimate center
In which I must live
Survive
All the while compromising
For the world about me
With it's when's and where's
What and who's
Tantalizing just beyond my reach...
©2009clarencecbess
Friday, August 28, 2009
The Haikus Con't...
"August"
Laying down too much.
The common factor is me.
Asleep at the wheel.
&
Saved again through grace.
First chills arrive on breezes.
When will my leaves change?
"September"
Ducking for cover.
It's raining but the sun's out.
Perspective's a bitch.
&
Trying to awake.
My dawn has yet to arrive.
But I see sunlight.
Allworksherein©2009clarencecbess
Laying down too much.
The common factor is me.
Asleep at the wheel.
&
Saved again through grace.
First chills arrive on breezes.
When will my leaves change?
"September"
Ducking for cover.
It's raining but the sun's out.
Perspective's a bitch.
&
Trying to awake.
My dawn has yet to arrive.
But I see sunlight.
Allworksherein©2009clarencecbess
Sketch
I'm a little worried. I haven't been able to complete a poem in my journal since going to IL. Well, that is until now...
"Sketch"
He sketched
I stared
The both of us
Meticulously analyzing
Depicting
The world around us
Our connection
Them
Those beyond our eyes
Ingrained into our imaginations
As he stroked with graphite
I with ink
To make portrait the moment
To make eternal
Unspoken words
And images that call
Wanting and needing to be born;
He sketched
I listened
The both of us inscribing
Meticulously realizing
There
Where the world
Comes together
At $2.25 an illusion...
©2009clarencecbess
"Sketch"
He sketched
I stared
The both of us
Meticulously analyzing
Depicting
The world around us
Our connection
Them
Those beyond our eyes
Ingrained into our imaginations
As he stroked with graphite
I with ink
To make portrait the moment
To make eternal
Unspoken words
And images that call
Wanting and needing to be born;
He sketched
I listened
The both of us inscribing
Meticulously realizing
There
Where the world
Comes together
At $2.25 an illusion...
©2009clarencecbess
Monday, August 24, 2009
Corner Sermon
Gonna tell me
Here
At this moment
That the dream is achieved?
If so
Lets talk awake.
Lets talk promises and acres
The green kind
Not the ones that rise
Blocking the sun
It's precious vitamin D
Building blocks for the strength
That helped build this nation
Upon misshapen backs
And the mutilated souls
Of those who tried to chase the dream;
Gonna tell me
Claim me
Lazy?
That I don't take enough advantage
Of the opportunities abound
When my kings and queens
Are ruthlessly pursued
Butchered down
Just to remind them
Where they live
Who runs this thing
Why should I want to achieve?
Why should I want to leave
A system
That rewards me for remaining in it
Yet penalizes those who even
Attempt
To rise above it?
Go ahead
Tell me
I shouldn't think that way...
I had a dream
Pretty sure
The same dream
But when I woke
The nightmare called reality
Slapped me back down
Said
'Get in yo' place nigger'
Behind smiles and institutions
Too many to name
I had a dream
Probably the same
But when I woke
There was no unity
Just the reality
Of mental chains
Mocha verses coffee bean
Stone ghetto against plantation green
And the reality
Each time someone asks
'Are your parents white?'
Because I speak properly
Fluently
That even now
My skin tone equates to
Less-than
Other-than
Dick size
Go ahead and tell me
What to do
Tell me
To shut my mouth
Get off the pot
Join the race
Move myself into creation
When evolution
Consistently passes me by
Leaving me here
On the corner
With my tired words
Tired eyes
Afraid to sleep
Afraid to dream any more...
©2009clarencecbess
Here
At this moment
That the dream is achieved?
If so
Lets talk awake.
Lets talk promises and acres
The green kind
Not the ones that rise
Blocking the sun
It's precious vitamin D
Building blocks for the strength
That helped build this nation
Upon misshapen backs
And the mutilated souls
Of those who tried to chase the dream;
Gonna tell me
Claim me
Lazy?
That I don't take enough advantage
Of the opportunities abound
When my kings and queens
Are ruthlessly pursued
Butchered down
Just to remind them
Where they live
Who runs this thing
Why should I want to achieve?
Why should I want to leave
A system
That rewards me for remaining in it
Yet penalizes those who even
Attempt
To rise above it?
Go ahead
Tell me
I shouldn't think that way...
I had a dream
Pretty sure
The same dream
But when I woke
The nightmare called reality
Slapped me back down
Said
'Get in yo' place nigger'
Behind smiles and institutions
Too many to name
I had a dream
Probably the same
But when I woke
There was no unity
Just the reality
Of mental chains
Mocha verses coffee bean
Stone ghetto against plantation green
And the reality
Each time someone asks
'Are your parents white?'
Because I speak properly
Fluently
That even now
My skin tone equates to
Less-than
Other-than
Dick size
Go ahead and tell me
What to do
Tell me
To shut my mouth
Get off the pot
Join the race
Move myself into creation
When evolution
Consistently passes me by
Leaving me here
On the corner
With my tired words
Tired eyes
Afraid to sleep
Afraid to dream any more...
©2009clarencecbess
Thursday, August 20, 2009
To One Mr. George Bess
I miss Swanee River Peach Soda
Miss my Grandfather forgetting our names
Asking patiently
Like I now know
He never did with his own children
'What flava ya want?'
My smile eternal
Beaming in response
To this rare situation
Bestowed upon me
My most cherished desire
How I'd wished mine own parents were the same...
How I miss the moment eternal
Sitting there in church
Drubbing on
Through song after song
Prayer after prayer
Relative upon relative
All of us sitting there going
'God-damn what I wouldn't give
for a piano or my normal minister'
Dreaming of
Cokes
Kool-Aid
Ribs
Chicken
Chittlins'
Fuckin' yellow flies buzzin about
Good people
Good tunes
Great times
Priceless memories
We never truly thought important
Because
It
Was
Us
Too many grand-children
Nieces
Nephews
Cousins
Uncles
Aunts
Sis-taz
Bru-thaz
Biting like the yellow flies
Leaving welts of agitation
And love
Abound
Because that
Was us
I miss my Grand-father
The rock of it all
Center
Universe
George
In his masculinity
Denied by
In my own mind
My father
Miss
That three-hour build-up
As my mother put her foot to the pedal
Pushing the little red Chevette
Longing for escape
Return
To the roots
Her children needed
In order for them to be
Men
Women
Of respect
Distinction
Because
It
Was
Her
And she needed
Wanted
Prayed
That it
Would be
Us
Beyond her
Beyond
Him
Them
And the memories
Unfit
Until Adulthood
In private moments
As we tried to figure out
Just what it was
We were supposed to be
How I miss my Grand-father
Who I so long to be like now
In this moment too late
As I come to realize
The beauty
The joy
That God saw so fit
For me to have
Through Clarence and Vivian
George and Doc
And the fact
That my own bitterness
Came
Upon missing
That beat-up car
Which fifteen siblings saved
Sacrificed for
Came
Upon intoxicated memory
Cotton-mouth
And tasting that
Cheap
Peach-infused green tea
Came upon
Names and memories
Verses and psalms
And the fact
That I wanted to hold them all
Now
Close
Within my arms
Shower them with my tears
Of sanctified sorrow
And the peace that comes
When one is drained
Of excuses and reasons
How I miss
Swanee River
Peach
Soda...
©2009clarencecbess
Miss my Grandfather forgetting our names
Asking patiently
Like I now know
He never did with his own children
'What flava ya want?'
My smile eternal
Beaming in response
To this rare situation
Bestowed upon me
My most cherished desire
How I'd wished mine own parents were the same...
How I miss the moment eternal
Sitting there in church
Drubbing on
Through song after song
Prayer after prayer
Relative upon relative
All of us sitting there going
'God-damn what I wouldn't give
for a piano or my normal minister'
Dreaming of
Cokes
Kool-Aid
Ribs
Chicken
Chittlins'
Fuckin' yellow flies buzzin about
Good people
Good tunes
Great times
Priceless memories
We never truly thought important
Because
It
Was
Us
Too many grand-children
Nieces
Nephews
Cousins
Uncles
Aunts
Sis-taz
Bru-thaz
Biting like the yellow flies
Leaving welts of agitation
And love
Abound
Because that
Was us
I miss my Grand-father
The rock of it all
Center
Universe
George
In his masculinity
Denied by
In my own mind
My father
Miss
That three-hour build-up
As my mother put her foot to the pedal
Pushing the little red Chevette
Longing for escape
Return
To the roots
Her children needed
In order for them to be
Men
Women
Of respect
Distinction
Because
It
Was
Her
And she needed
Wanted
Prayed
That it
Would be
Us
Beyond her
Beyond
Him
Them
And the memories
Unfit
Until Adulthood
In private moments
As we tried to figure out
Just what it was
We were supposed to be
How I miss my Grand-father
Who I so long to be like now
In this moment too late
As I come to realize
The beauty
The joy
That God saw so fit
For me to have
Through Clarence and Vivian
George and Doc
And the fact
That my own bitterness
Came
Upon missing
That beat-up car
Which fifteen siblings saved
Sacrificed for
Came
Upon intoxicated memory
Cotton-mouth
And tasting that
Cheap
Peach-infused green tea
Came upon
Names and memories
Verses and psalms
And the fact
That I wanted to hold them all
Now
Close
Within my arms
Shower them with my tears
Of sanctified sorrow
And the peace that comes
When one is drained
Of excuses and reasons
How I miss
Swanee River
Peach
Soda...
©2009clarencecbess
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Drown Out Music
It's been awhile since I wrote one of my true "Subway Poems", so I was delighted when I got on the train this evening to come home and the rock, sway, moment, and those sharing in it caused creativity to erupt within me. Enjoy...
"Drown Out Music"
Drown out music
Slips between my head
Makes me disappear into my dread
Trying to pass the time
Look away
From souls that come
To beg today
Drown out music
Under lights of bright
Expose the misery
Filth of life
Beneath notes
I try to slip away
Too close to soon
As a soul that comes to beg today
And I'm thinking it funny how
With the world at my fingertips
That if it came down to now
Without help here would I sit?
And I'm thinking it funny how
I have the nerve to pinch my face
With myself two cents away
From forgotten and dismissed
In a world that moves along
With its drowned out tired song
Always a patch job never fixed
Again
Without help here would I sit?
Drown out music in my mix
Head down with my eyes focusing
Trying to fix upon
Somehow miss
Somehow fly
Deny
Just like everybody else here
Oh so vexed
We turn to look away
The merest chance we'll be the soul
That comes to beg here another day...
©2009clarencecbess
"Drown Out Music"
Drown out music
Slips between my head
Makes me disappear into my dread
Trying to pass the time
Look away
From souls that come
To beg today
Drown out music
Under lights of bright
Expose the misery
Filth of life
Beneath notes
I try to slip away
Too close to soon
As a soul that comes to beg today
And I'm thinking it funny how
With the world at my fingertips
That if it came down to now
Without help here would I sit?
And I'm thinking it funny how
I have the nerve to pinch my face
With myself two cents away
From forgotten and dismissed
In a world that moves along
With its drowned out tired song
Always a patch job never fixed
Again
Without help here would I sit?
Drown out music in my mix
Head down with my eyes focusing
Trying to fix upon
Somehow miss
Somehow fly
Deny
Just like everybody else here
Oh so vexed
We turn to look away
The merest chance we'll be the soul
That comes to beg here another day...
©2009clarencecbess
Sunday, August 16, 2009
Ruin
It is always moving to face one's past...
"Ruin"
Like so much of our history
It lay in ruins
Forgotten
Reclaimed by the earth
Only it's ghost-like foundation remaining
Like so much of what we were
Are
It teased in shadows of duplicity
This Eden
Born of God
Destroyed by man
On pageantry by men
I'll shed my tears
For the souls who sought refuge here
Deep in these woods
On top of these stones
That echo the cry
Long gone from our lungs
Of freedom
And the high price
And it's high price
That God bestowed us to pay
One moss-covered ruin at a time
Only to be forgotten
Repeated
Like the questions these gate-keepers answer
Over and over again
As to why we let it go
Just as so with many other things
In the destruction of our soul...
©2009clarencecbess
Somewhere On The Highway
The wind wolves moved between the silos across the fields
An emerald dance
Allowing the land to speak
Sing its restful tune;
I turned and he smiled to himself
Looking out along the endless road
Content in his choice
Happy that I was happy
As the wind wolves raced across his soul
A delicate dance
Of stone and sea;
So I closed my eyes
Forgetting myself
And went with the breeze;
Lifted I soared on the wind wolves song
To the heart of me
Left within fields far gone
Of the bluest reprieves
And passionate psalms
Shifting with ease
Allowing me to rise
Till the world was no longer
And all I could be
Was wind to the land
Unchained and free...
©2009clarencecbess
An emerald dance
Allowing the land to speak
Sing its restful tune;
I turned and he smiled to himself
Looking out along the endless road
Content in his choice
Happy that I was happy
As the wind wolves raced across his soul
A delicate dance
Of stone and sea;
So I closed my eyes
Forgetting myself
And went with the breeze;
Lifted I soared on the wind wolves song
To the heart of me
Left within fields far gone
Of the bluest reprieves
And passionate psalms
Shifting with ease
Allowing me to rise
Till the world was no longer
And all I could be
Was wind to the land
Unchained and free...
©2009clarencecbess
Second Hand Melody
I haven't heard a clock tick in years.
Haven't watched that second-hand
Slowly tick away
The minutes of my life
But I've felt it
The setting and the rise
The winters and the springs
Summers
Gone far too soon
That fall would return again
All in the passing of time
As I run faster
Trying to cheat death of its inevitable victory
I haven't heard a clock tick
In many a year
Drowned out by the noise
Of my existence and fears...
©2009clarencecbess
Haven't watched that second-hand
Slowly tick away
The minutes of my life
But I've felt it
The setting and the rise
The winters and the springs
Summers
Gone far too soon
That fall would return again
All in the passing of time
As I run faster
Trying to cheat death of its inevitable victory
I haven't heard a clock tick
In many a year
Drowned out by the noise
Of my existence and fears...
©2009clarencecbess
Old Men
The old men talked
And as usual I listened
Retreating into silence
To observe their pass-offs
Exchanges
In the ballet of companionship;
These social kings
Entertaining
Educating
The pauper I
Of things to come
Deserved and not;
I go with their flow
Off to past paradises
Exchange
Untold stories
Etched upon their faces
And eyes that stare
Back at me
With the intent to know
As I finally speak
To make my mark
In the crevices of their speckled souls
As I finally speak
But to listen again
For the best stories told
Are the ones you strain to hear
Muffled behind closed doors...
©2009clarencecbess
And as usual I listened
Retreating into silence
To observe their pass-offs
Exchanges
In the ballet of companionship;
These social kings
Entertaining
Educating
The pauper I
Of things to come
Deserved and not;
I go with their flow
Off to past paradises
Exchange
Untold stories
Etched upon their faces
And eyes that stare
Back at me
With the intent to know
As I finally speak
To make my mark
In the crevices of their speckled souls
As I finally speak
But to listen again
For the best stories told
Are the ones you strain to hear
Muffled behind closed doors...
©2009clarencecbess
Feast & Famine
She wore love like a perfume
Delicately dabbed about
Accentuating
Punctuating her curves
Hidden places
As she looked to he
Who presented his masculinity
A trophy polished one too many times
Dimming her reflection
In the abrasive scratches
Of his pomp and circumstance;
She wore desperation like a sweat
A slippery adhesive
That would no sooner break when bound
To kisses and passionate strokes
Of her hypocritical web
Which drew him in
One smile at a time
Leaving me to wonder
Who would devour who
In this precarious waltz
Of feast and famine...
©2009clarencecbess
Delicately dabbed about
Accentuating
Punctuating her curves
Hidden places
As she looked to he
Who presented his masculinity
A trophy polished one too many times
Dimming her reflection
In the abrasive scratches
Of his pomp and circumstance;
She wore desperation like a sweat
A slippery adhesive
That would no sooner break when bound
To kisses and passionate strokes
Of her hypocritical web
Which drew him in
One smile at a time
Leaving me to wonder
Who would devour who
In this precarious waltz
Of feast and famine...
©2009clarencecbess
Thursday, August 6, 2009
Rainbows & Jelly Beans
Rainbows and jelly beans
Come and get your fantasies
Guaranteed to make you high
Just one taste you won't deny
As your inhibitions fade
Kiss the night and love the shade
Underneath your rainbow beams
Open mind to taste the dream
Rainbows and jelly beans
Pop a few begin to see
How the world it truly be
Guaranteed to make you cry
Just one taste you won't deny
Dance away obesity
Come to points off maps of need
Coexisting under rainbow beams
Open ears to taste the dream
Rainbows and jelly beans
If you're true you'll understand
Not 'bout outcomes only 'bout the plan
Pop another you'll be my friend
Just one taste you won't deny
Beneath rain and sun you'll get it right
Come to points off maps of greed
Drop a bean to plant the seed
Open eyes to know the mind
Technicolor world divine
Come and get your fantasies
Beneath the rainbow fallacy...
©2009clarencecbess
Come and get your fantasies
Guaranteed to make you high
Just one taste you won't deny
As your inhibitions fade
Kiss the night and love the shade
Underneath your rainbow beams
Open mind to taste the dream
Rainbows and jelly beans
Pop a few begin to see
How the world it truly be
Guaranteed to make you cry
Just one taste you won't deny
Dance away obesity
Come to points off maps of need
Coexisting under rainbow beams
Open ears to taste the dream
Rainbows and jelly beans
If you're true you'll understand
Not 'bout outcomes only 'bout the plan
Pop another you'll be my friend
Just one taste you won't deny
Beneath rain and sun you'll get it right
Come to points off maps of greed
Drop a bean to plant the seed
Open eyes to know the mind
Technicolor world divine
Come and get your fantasies
Beneath the rainbow fallacy...
©2009clarencecbess
August Revelation
I don't want to hear the word love right now
No sad songs
With their moaning and revelations
Don't want to see roses
My favorite of flowers
Their petals bright and crisp
Waiting to wilt and die
Just like
I don't want to see yet another couple
Holding hands
Stealing kisses
On trains
In parks
Next to rivers and oceans
Their eyes locked upon each other
As they cancel out the world about them
Waiting for sunsets
Birds melodies
And bedrooms
Interpretations of the passion that grows
I don't want to hear
I don't want to see
Be reminded beyond my walls
Of the inadequacy that exist
On my empty finger
Solitary bench
In my desperate bedrooms
Of digital bliss
I'd rather know
Be the lips that receive the kiss
Wind that carries the song
Straight to the ear
Sweet nothings to make the memory long
And the moments right
With moonlight accentuating waves
Petals that never fade
Against music cheery and bright
I don't want to hear the word love right now
Nor tomorrow
Or the day after
I've heard it all before
One too many times before...
©2009clarencecbess
No sad songs
With their moaning and revelations
Don't want to see roses
My favorite of flowers
Their petals bright and crisp
Waiting to wilt and die
Just like
I don't want to see yet another couple
Holding hands
Stealing kisses
On trains
In parks
Next to rivers and oceans
Their eyes locked upon each other
As they cancel out the world about them
Waiting for sunsets
Birds melodies
And bedrooms
Interpretations of the passion that grows
I don't want to hear
I don't want to see
Be reminded beyond my walls
Of the inadequacy that exist
On my empty finger
Solitary bench
In my desperate bedrooms
Of digital bliss
I'd rather know
Be the lips that receive the kiss
Wind that carries the song
Straight to the ear
Sweet nothings to make the memory long
And the moments right
With moonlight accentuating waves
Petals that never fade
Against music cheery and bright
I don't want to hear the word love right now
Nor tomorrow
Or the day after
I've heard it all before
One too many times before...
©2009clarencecbess
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
After Dreams
It never ceases to amaze me that I can be inspired by the oddest things. I wonder do people ever realize what they are doing when they create something truly beautiful... Big thanks to JC's SM...
"After Dreams"
Supple breeze caressing me
Golden dawn speaks release
After dreams in which I scream
To know the truth
Pressing thoughts bond me down
To the pains of life abound
After dreams will I be
A stolen song of bitter peace?
Close my eyes to inhale the joy
Of the chance at chasing things
Which remain after dreams
And truths abound that pardon me
After dreams will I be
Stolen songs of bitter peace?
After truths that bring me joy
Will I want
Will I see
Will I know
Will I be
Release?
©2009clarencecbess
"After Dreams"
Supple breeze caressing me
Golden dawn speaks release
After dreams in which I scream
To know the truth
Pressing thoughts bond me down
To the pains of life abound
After dreams will I be
A stolen song of bitter peace?
Close my eyes to inhale the joy
Of the chance at chasing things
Which remain after dreams
And truths abound that pardon me
After dreams will I be
Stolen songs of bitter peace?
After truths that bring me joy
Will I want
Will I see
Will I know
Will I be
Release?
©2009clarencecbess
Black Lotus Mantra
Escaping into one's mind can be a dangerous thing...
"Black Lotus Mantra"
I never knew that I'd get to the end
Never understood how to make a friend
That I would run into life in the dark
That I'd be trapped within the cells of my heart.
Wish my anger could hit on the mark
Want my mental state to shut down and part
Ruined in small rooms with no space to breathe
Still trying to inhale just so I can scream.
Forever I will feel that I'm incomplete
Despite my attempts at conformity
Why do they think that I'm so adjusted?
If only they knew what's inside my head.
Frustration the symbiotic being that feeds
With open and closed eyes as I tackle my dreams
Borrowing existence unable to repay
Must find a means to an end soon one day.
I'd like to define my way out of pain
I'd like to open my mouth in the rain
Ingest the tears as they fall from the sky
Than to be left alone with these words in the night
Bereft of the strength that becomes of the tried
Empty again with no will to fight.
I asked for escape when I was a child
Just to become a man still trapped all the while
Coming to terms with his disease of sorrow
Feeling his freedom will always come tomorrow.
I never knew I'd be left in the night
With words and phantoms devoid of a light
I thought existed with the blessings that come
From first breath to last beneath these stars overhung...
©2009clarencecbess
"Black Lotus Mantra"
I never knew that I'd get to the end
Never understood how to make a friend
That I would run into life in the dark
That I'd be trapped within the cells of my heart.
Wish my anger could hit on the mark
Want my mental state to shut down and part
Ruined in small rooms with no space to breathe
Still trying to inhale just so I can scream.
Forever I will feel that I'm incomplete
Despite my attempts at conformity
Why do they think that I'm so adjusted?
If only they knew what's inside my head.
Frustration the symbiotic being that feeds
With open and closed eyes as I tackle my dreams
Borrowing existence unable to repay
Must find a means to an end soon one day.
I'd like to define my way out of pain
I'd like to open my mouth in the rain
Ingest the tears as they fall from the sky
Than to be left alone with these words in the night
Bereft of the strength that becomes of the tried
Empty again with no will to fight.
I asked for escape when I was a child
Just to become a man still trapped all the while
Coming to terms with his disease of sorrow
Feeling his freedom will always come tomorrow.
I never knew I'd be left in the night
With words and phantoms devoid of a light
I thought existed with the blessings that come
From first breath to last beneath these stars overhung...
©2009clarencecbess
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
Possible Tombstone Etching #1
I need to get a little crazy
Say hell to it all
Release
Run naked through the streets
With my nature to the wind
Escape to peace
Get a little crazy
Get rid of everything
Everyone
Make the circle of nothing complete
And when I'm done
And they're spreading me about
Maybe they'll say
He went a little crazy
But was never happier
Yes that was him
Without a doubt...
©2009clarencecbess
Say hell to it all
Release
Run naked through the streets
With my nature to the wind
Escape to peace
Get a little crazy
Get rid of everything
Everyone
Make the circle of nothing complete
And when I'm done
And they're spreading me about
Maybe they'll say
He went a little crazy
But was never happier
Yes that was him
Without a doubt...
©2009clarencecbess
Monday, August 3, 2009
Lucanae
Pronounced Lu-Ka-NI, I'll give you a clue as to it's meaning. Here it is: Data
"Lucanae"
Let go of me
Separate this insanity
Beyond my reach
And these fingertips which seek
To tear away my dreams
The fantasies
I place in front of me
In my complacency
Let go of me
Let go of me
Forget the face you see
Under things
At the edges of the spring
You want a soul to be
At words that will place you on
Pages of a misery
Bound and sold by complacency
Let go of me
Let go of me
For at the end of the day
I am empty
Nothing for the wind to blow
Nothing for the mind to know
Beyond your fingertips
And sheets that make the music
Full of misery
And the love that comes between
My lack of urgency
Let go of me
Let go of me
Before we steak the hearts
See
And there is nothing left
Except the ink
Sheets beyond my fingertips
Stained with misery
Wrought with little hope and love
Jammed between
Complacency
Emergencies
That tear away the dream
Leave me as no one
No
Thing
Let go of me...
©2009clarencecbess
"Lucanae"
Let go of me
Separate this insanity
Beyond my reach
And these fingertips which seek
To tear away my dreams
The fantasies
I place in front of me
In my complacency
Let go of me
Let go of me
Forget the face you see
Under things
At the edges of the spring
You want a soul to be
At words that will place you on
Pages of a misery
Bound and sold by complacency
Let go of me
Let go of me
For at the end of the day
I am empty
Nothing for the wind to blow
Nothing for the mind to know
Beyond your fingertips
And sheets that make the music
Full of misery
And the love that comes between
My lack of urgency
Let go of me
Let go of me
Before we steak the hearts
See
And there is nothing left
Except the ink
Sheets beyond my fingertips
Stained with misery
Wrought with little hope and love
Jammed between
Complacency
Emergencies
That tear away the dream
Leave me as no one
No
Thing
Let go of me...
©2009clarencecbess
End Of A Season
Who's next?
"End Of A Season"
Here
Again
What
Could have been
I haven't the energy to cry
As maybe I should
As maybe I would
If your lips were a little closer
Your eyes slightly closed
Your words a little softer
Now
Again
On
To the reason
Conclusion
That every thing happens
For a change in the seasons
I haven't the energy to lie
As maybe I should
To keep your lips a little closer
What
If anything
Could I say
Should I do
With my heart a little colder
Your lips much too further
With the haze that descends
Between now
And again
Here
There
A lack of any reason
In this ending of a season
I haven't the energy to cry
Lie
With myself
To make the pain a little softer
As the kiss to you I offer...
©2009clarencecbess
"End Of A Season"
Here
Again
What
Could have been
I haven't the energy to cry
As maybe I should
As maybe I would
If your lips were a little closer
Your eyes slightly closed
Your words a little softer
Now
Again
On
To the reason
Conclusion
That every thing happens
For a change in the seasons
I haven't the energy to lie
As maybe I should
To keep your lips a little closer
What
If anything
Could I say
Should I do
With my heart a little colder
Your lips much too further
With the haze that descends
Between now
And again
Here
There
A lack of any reason
In this ending of a season
I haven't the energy to cry
Lie
With myself
To make the pain a little softer
As the kiss to you I offer...
©2009clarencecbess
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Underneath
Won't it just go away.... Sometimes, I guess you just have to give in and go with it.
"Underneath"
Summer never came
So she escaped with the rain
Danced in the breeze
As the soil gave away
Underneath
Summer asked her to take
As she fought with the breeze
Danced in the rain
Letting go of her pain
With her soil washed away
Underneath
I glimpsed her alone
As she sought to be free
One with the sun that never came
One with a world bringing rain
Pale with no remorse
Devoid of shame
As the soil underneath
Tried to remain
She said soaked in the tears of the day
Still in her dance and my dream
'Time is the kiss that escapes
With the soil down to the shore
To go beyond the sea'
And I was pale
Devoid with release
As my soul joined in dance
Underneath
©2009clarencecbess
"Underneath"
Summer never came
So she escaped with the rain
Danced in the breeze
As the soil gave away
Underneath
Summer asked her to take
As she fought with the breeze
Danced in the rain
Letting go of her pain
With her soil washed away
Underneath
I glimpsed her alone
As she sought to be free
One with the sun that never came
One with a world bringing rain
Pale with no remorse
Devoid of shame
As the soil underneath
Tried to remain
She said soaked in the tears of the day
Still in her dance and my dream
'Time is the kiss that escapes
With the soil down to the shore
To go beyond the sea'
And I was pale
Devoid with release
As my soul joined in dance
Underneath
©2009clarencecbess
Sunday, July 26, 2009
Emerald Release
It is wonderful being friends with a true artist... Thank you Tim for always being there with unconditional support and reminding me why I must never put away the joy of creation. You are the epitome of creativity and I can only hope that the world truly pay$ attention to you soon... Much love and respect!
Emerald Release - Acrylic on MDF - ©2009timothystachecki
"Emerald Release"
Must find my joy
Dive into the emerald release
Murky unknown
Forest eternal
That beckons deep in the stroke;
Must find my peace
Go into the emerald release
Beyond the borders of creation
Into the outside world of possibility
Technicolor innocence
Forest eternal
That beckons descending
Beyond each stroke so deep;
Must know my soul
Interpreted in the emerald release
Go beyond the black
Summoning at the base
Unfound
Eternal
To dance with the movement
Love with the strokes
That sweep so deep
In a universe of conception...
©2009clarencecbess
Emerald Release - Acrylic on MDF - ©2009timothystachecki "Emerald Release"
Must find my joy
Dive into the emerald release
Murky unknown
Forest eternal
That beckons deep in the stroke;
Must find my peace
Go into the emerald release
Beyond the borders of creation
Into the outside world of possibility
Technicolor innocence
Forest eternal
That beckons descending
Beyond each stroke so deep;
Must know my soul
Interpreted in the emerald release
Go beyond the black
Summoning at the base
Unfound
Eternal
To dance with the movement
Love with the strokes
That sweep so deep
In a universe of conception...
©2009clarencecbess
Distant
I feel the beast approaching...
"Distant"
I hear you cry
And I am still
Hear you cry
Only to deny my will
And my love
As broken heart instills
The right
To turn away from truths
Besides how could I
Compliment your youth that shines
As you cry
Silver wishes to light the night
Shame that I
Have to look away from your eyes
Deny the rise
Of warmth within my heart
As you cry
And I am still
Lost for words to describe
Just how I
Want to take your dreams
Steal you in the night
Undercover
Un
Denied
The way I trust you will in time
As you learn
Reasons I don't cry
And I am still
Even with the chance to make it right...
©2009clarencecbess
"Distant"
I hear you cry
And I am still
Hear you cry
Only to deny my will
And my love
As broken heart instills
The right
To turn away from truths
Besides how could I
Compliment your youth that shines
As you cry
Silver wishes to light the night
Shame that I
Have to look away from your eyes
Deny the rise
Of warmth within my heart
As you cry
And I am still
Lost for words to describe
Just how I
Want to take your dreams
Steal you in the night
Undercover
Un
Denied
The way I trust you will in time
As you learn
Reasons I don't cry
And I am still
Even with the chance to make it right...
©2009clarencecbess
Thursday, July 23, 2009
Strange Bedfellows
I've always tried to keep my baggage light, but lately I can't seem to fit it on the overhead rack...
"Strange Bedfellows"
I went to bed with a stranger
Woke ruined and diseased
Sold my soul
For momentary happiness
And now I can't rid myself
I went to bed with a stranger
Trusted my heart not to fall
Not to ask
For its desires
But the heart trumps the mind
And now I can't rid myself
I went to bed with a stranger
Woke up with myself
Lonely and bitter
Like the single drink
I'll have today
In an attempt to momentarily forget
That I'm a little bit older
Yet foolish like the young
I try to influence
With my stories of old;
What is rain without clouds?
Song without note?
My bed without a stranger
In the balance of things ...
I went to bed with a stranger
Discovered a little more of myself
Good and bad
Crazy and sane
All of them so beautiful
I'd do it all again
If I could rid myself
I'd do it all again
If I could rid
My
Self...
©2009clarencecbess
"Strange Bedfellows"
I went to bed with a stranger
Woke ruined and diseased
Sold my soul
For momentary happiness
And now I can't rid myself
I went to bed with a stranger
Trusted my heart not to fall
Not to ask
For its desires
But the heart trumps the mind
And now I can't rid myself
I went to bed with a stranger
Woke up with myself
Lonely and bitter
Like the single drink
I'll have today
In an attempt to momentarily forget
That I'm a little bit older
Yet foolish like the young
I try to influence
With my stories of old;
What is rain without clouds?
Song without note?
My bed without a stranger
In the balance of things ...
I went to bed with a stranger
Discovered a little more of myself
Good and bad
Crazy and sane
All of them so beautiful
I'd do it all again
If I could rid myself
I'd do it all again
If I could rid
My
Self...
©2009clarencecbess
33
Birthdays for me are unfortunate reminders that there is SO much I've done, am doing, and need to get done. Though admittedly I can't complain, this b-day feels a little empty...a little blue.
"33"
I thought I was bound to love
As it turns out
I am bound to blue
Held by the black ties of history
Blinded by my pursuits
And the hapless souls who come
Ready and willing to give
Unfortunate cries
Falling beyond and behind
My blue skies
Summer dreams;
I thought I was bound to go
But I always end up bound to blue
Back at the beginning
On the soiled slate
Held by the consistency that escapes
Beyond mistakes
I learn from
But never solve
As I run out of time
Over and over again
In the blue that befriends;
I know I am bound to be
Forever bound to blue
Forever returning
Trying to forever escape
Creatures that call
Each time I lay
Closing my eyes
To dream of clear skies
Quiet and new
One without end
And the pain I've allowed to...
©2009clarencecbess
"33"
I thought I was bound to love
As it turns out
I am bound to blue
Held by the black ties of history
Blinded by my pursuits
And the hapless souls who come
Ready and willing to give
Unfortunate cries
Falling beyond and behind
My blue skies
Summer dreams;
I thought I was bound to go
But I always end up bound to blue
Back at the beginning
On the soiled slate
Held by the consistency that escapes
Beyond mistakes
I learn from
But never solve
As I run out of time
Over and over again
In the blue that befriends;
I know I am bound to be
Forever bound to blue
Forever returning
Trying to forever escape
Creatures that call
Each time I lay
Closing my eyes
To dream of clear skies
Quiet and new
One without end
And the pain I've allowed to...
©2009clarencecbess
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Gone
I never completely fill a writing journal. With that being said, this is the last piece written in my latest journal. Thank-you Johanna & Rona for the lovely journal and thank you Eric for the next generation...
"Gone"
That rushed exhale
A mixture of tired and frustration
At the lack for words
Again to sum up the moment
Come
Thinking in circles
Never coming to an end
Remaining at a beginning
Trying to sum up the moments
Gone
That return to comfort
A mixture of frustration and achievement
Waiting for the moment to come
Where decision and outcome
Unify
And sum up the moments
Gone
Lost between my fingers
Through pens
Shades of fall
And florescent pacifications
That never sleep
As they travel in circles
Never wanting for an end
And I am left to sum up the moments
Gone...
©2009clarencecbess
"Gone"
That rushed exhale
A mixture of tired and frustration
At the lack for words
Again to sum up the moment
Come
Thinking in circles
Never coming to an end
Remaining at a beginning
Trying to sum up the moments
Gone
That return to comfort
A mixture of frustration and achievement
Waiting for the moment to come
Where decision and outcome
Unify
And sum up the moments
Gone
Lost between my fingers
Through pens
Shades of fall
And florescent pacifications
That never sleep
As they travel in circles
Never wanting for an end
And I am left to sum up the moments
Gone...
©2009clarencecbess
Vacant
At the end of it all... there is vacancy.
"Vacant"
After the sunset
Vacant
After the blue
Quiet still
Vacant
Black loneliness
And a return to reality
As there is no one to show
No one to see
No one to hold
No one to be
With
The way I was with you...
After the hills
Silence
After the burn
Hope
Reconstructed dreams
On the faces of inevitability
And a return to reality
As there will be nothing to show
Nothing to see
Nothing to hold
Nothing to be
Without
The way it was with you...
©2009clarencecbess
"Vacant"
After the sunset
Vacant
After the blue
Quiet still
Vacant
Black loneliness
And a return to reality
As there is no one to show
No one to see
No one to hold
No one to be
With
The way I was with you...
After the hills
Silence
After the burn
Hope
Reconstructed dreams
On the faces of inevitability
And a return to reality
As there will be nothing to show
Nothing to see
Nothing to hold
Nothing to be
Without
The way it was with you...
©2009clarencecbess
Saturday, July 18, 2009
Puddle-Jumper Observation
I hate those little propeller planes... unfortunately to get to heaven, you may have to take a detour through hell...
"Puddle-Jumper Observation"
Like teeth
They jutted up
Sharp incisors
Reminders
Of age
Change
Inevitability
That they must come to me
As well as death
Uninvited
In the rotation of life
Here
There
Where I was
Am now
And going to;
Periodically a stray cloud
Sometimes miles in width
Would seek to shade
Transforming them into black seas
Deep
Pendulous
Heavy with the weight of my fears
Free
If only for a moment
From the sun
As it made scorching embers
Of each pebble in the mound;
Higher and higher they rose
An eerie attempt
At feasting upon us
Who skirted just beyond their reach...
Though in awe
I was never happier to see the coast.
©2009clarencecbess
"Puddle-Jumper Observation"
Like teeth
They jutted up
Sharp incisors
Reminders
Of age
Change
Inevitability
That they must come to me
As well as death
Uninvited
In the rotation of life
Here
There
Where I was
Am now
And going to;
Periodically a stray cloud
Sometimes miles in width
Would seek to shade
Transforming them into black seas
Deep
Pendulous
Heavy with the weight of my fears
Free
If only for a moment
From the sun
As it made scorching embers
Of each pebble in the mound;
Higher and higher they rose
An eerie attempt
At feasting upon us
Who skirted just beyond their reach...
Though in awe
I was never happier to see the coast.
©2009clarencecbess
Dessert Palette
I saw this once in a dream.
I know because like now
The world moved slowly by
(But I must say I am thankful
The wind is not currently in my face)
Sensuously undressing
Exposing more than I could ever see
Of the expanse
As it disappeared into the horizon
Where land and sky become one
An unfinished painting
Waiting for my imagination
The brush-stroke of creativity
To somehow punctuate
The possibilities that passed beneath me...
©2009clarencecbess
I know because like now
The world moved slowly by
(But I must say I am thankful
The wind is not currently in my face)
Sensuously undressing
Exposing more than I could ever see
Of the expanse
As it disappeared into the horizon
Where land and sky become one
An unfinished painting
Waiting for my imagination
The brush-stroke of creativity
To somehow punctuate
The possibilities that passed beneath me...
©2009clarencecbess
Leaving Phoenix
On the plane and leaving Phoenix heading towards Santa Barbara... Strange and beautiful from the air... ahhh inspiration.
"Leaving Phoenix"
I glimpse you
Naked
Bare
Unintended
Your folds and crevices
Story upon story
I am in awe
Of your powdered essence
Liquid to eyes of far
Dry and firm to the specs
Disappearing with each foot I rise;
I wonder
Where is your glory?
Do you sleep
Waiting to awake
Emerald and lush?
Is that how your name came about?
Because there was so much of nothing
Ragged and abused by the sun
That surely
Centuries of men
Heard your somber song
Deep in your hills and valleys
Knowing
That far beyond their eyes
You'd come again
As you were before
Free
Boundless and feathered...
©2009clarencecbess
"Leaving Phoenix"
I glimpse you
Naked
Bare
Unintended
Your folds and crevices
Story upon story
I am in awe
Of your powdered essence
Liquid to eyes of far
Dry and firm to the specs
Disappearing with each foot I rise;
I wonder
Where is your glory?
Do you sleep
Waiting to awake
Emerald and lush?
Is that how your name came about?
Because there was so much of nothing
Ragged and abused by the sun
That surely
Centuries of men
Heard your somber song
Deep in your hills and valleys
Knowing
That far beyond their eyes
You'd come again
As you were before
Free
Boundless and feathered...
©2009clarencecbess
Saturday, July 11, 2009
Echo
Here we go again. It's 2009 and yet here we go again...
"Echo"
Hear myself
Again and again
This
Echo, echo
Tells me we cannot win
Faded star
Passes into memory
Yet
Echo, echo
Reverberates the misery;
Twenty-five children
Innocent
Unschooled
Educated now
In the
Echo, echo
Of the closing of a pool;
In this fight
On our screams
I hear
Echoes, echoes
To focus on the dream
Of silent belonging
When there are no longer things
That
Echo, echo
Our dark history
A
Nation, nation
To the table always brings
Never to clear away
Stains that still remain
In the
Echo, echo
Of It's actions to the wind
Which cause us all
To hear ourselves again...
©2009clarencecbess
"Echo"
Hear myself
Again and again
This
Echo, echo
Tells me we cannot win
Faded star
Passes into memory
Yet
Echo, echo
Reverberates the misery;
Twenty-five children
Innocent
Unschooled
Educated now
In the
Echo, echo
Of the closing of a pool;
In this fight
On our screams
I hear
Echoes, echoes
To focus on the dream
Of silent belonging
When there are no longer things
That
Echo, echo
Our dark history
A
Nation, nation
To the table always brings
Never to clear away
Stains that still remain
In the
Echo, echo
Of It's actions to the wind
Which cause us all
To hear ourselves again...
©2009clarencecbess
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
Tell
He told her not to tell
That there was nothing wrong
With the way he felt
Looked upon her innocence
Unspoiled and oh so clean
What others would do to him
Would be so mean…
They told them not to tell
Not to give them options well
Not to show them acres green
Where children play
And every morning birds would sing
Because their colors
Well
Didn’t fit the scheme
The belief
Without their shades
It was a better dream
Their excuse
When everyone does it
It’s not so mean…
I wished that I could tell
Could’ve let him know
My mental hell
But the past has gone away
Older now
What would I say?
Old dogs can’t learn new tricks
Is what I’ve seen
To try now would be so mean…
They say you cannot tell
That they won’t ask
Just drop you in their hell
Claim you fight for liberty
The right to spread and breed
Return denied the human need
To love and nurture heart and seed
Last time I checked
It’s red that we all bleed
Survival that we scream
And yet we are so mean…
But who's got the right to tell?
©2009clarencecbess
That there was nothing wrong
With the way he felt
Looked upon her innocence
Unspoiled and oh so clean
What others would do to him
Would be so mean…
They told them not to tell
Not to give them options well
Not to show them acres green
Where children play
And every morning birds would sing
Because their colors
Well
Didn’t fit the scheme
The belief
Without their shades
It was a better dream
Their excuse
When everyone does it
It’s not so mean…
I wished that I could tell
Could’ve let him know
My mental hell
But the past has gone away
Older now
What would I say?
Old dogs can’t learn new tricks
Is what I’ve seen
To try now would be so mean…
They say you cannot tell
That they won’t ask
Just drop you in their hell
Claim you fight for liberty
The right to spread and breed
Return denied the human need
To love and nurture heart and seed
Last time I checked
It’s red that we all bleed
Survival that we scream
And yet we are so mean…
But who's got the right to tell?
©2009clarencecbess
Tired
Tired
Spent
The everyday drawl
In the language of survival
Making me foreign
To the prompt eloquence
Of the song that surrounds.
Tired
With first my bones
Then tissues
Drooping
Like heavy eyelids
Struggling
For that final glimpse
Of light as it slips away.
Spent
Broke again
Ingesting the shards
Those mistakes of the past
Only to choke and spew a dust to blanket
Walls and objects
Of yet another small room in which I reside.
Tired
About to fall asleep
In life
Dreams
Reduced to lay
Fetal
Returned to the start
To refresh all that I want
Can and will be…
©2009clarencecbess
Spent
The everyday drawl
In the language of survival
Making me foreign
To the prompt eloquence
Of the song that surrounds.
Tired
With first my bones
Then tissues
Drooping
Like heavy eyelids
Struggling
For that final glimpse
Of light as it slips away.
Spent
Broke again
Ingesting the shards
Those mistakes of the past
Only to choke and spew a dust to blanket
Walls and objects
Of yet another small room in which I reside.
Tired
About to fall asleep
In life
Dreams
Reduced to lay
Fetal
Returned to the start
To refresh all that I want
Can and will be…
©2009clarencecbess
Break
I just love this
The way you break
Me
Down
Expose the natural
Crack the shell
Bringing my soul forward
Center stage
Private spotlight
To dance
Just love
The way you break
Me
Down
With your stare
Increasing palpitations of desire
Between the murmurs of fear
Caused from the unhealed structures
Of a broken heart
Just love
This
Moments and memories
Coming from within
Channeled through my fingers
Breaking me
You
Down
To words eternal
Etched upon the digital white
Eternal
The way I want
I love
For you to
Break
Me
Down…
©2009clarencecbess
The way you break
Me
Down
Expose the natural
Crack the shell
Bringing my soul forward
Center stage
Private spotlight
To dance
Just love
The way you break
Me
Down
With your stare
Increasing palpitations of desire
Between the murmurs of fear
Caused from the unhealed structures
Of a broken heart
Just love
This
Moments and memories
Coming from within
Channeled through my fingers
Breaking me
You
Down
To words eternal
Etched upon the digital white
Eternal
The way I want
I love
For you to
Break
Me
Down…
©2009clarencecbess
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