Internal Affair

Sometimes
I think I couldn't love you more.
Like trying to find another reason to love
Love
It breaches upon impossible
In a repetitive world of clichés
Forget me nots
Not out of genuine emotion
Rather that unconscious knowledge
That unless we do things otherwise
It's just a matter of time before we dissipate
Beyond memory
Into the sheer nothingness of time.

Sometimes I stumble on you
A path I thought familiar
Memorized down to those basic details
Even I forget to notice in myself;
Stumble because you surprise me
In the answers to those questions of you
Leaving me lost in my heart's labyrinth
Hoping not to run into the beast of survival
I created to guard those fragile chambers.

Sometimes I create you
Momentarily forgetting who you are
And need
You to do the same;
Wash me anew
Equating me to those fantasies which drive you,
Will you
When something about me
Just won't do.

I couldn't love you more
Than I have
Do now
Will in perpetuity
As the residuals of fate's episodes
Rain upon me
Leaving me to drown in you.
©2014clarencecbess

Mind Lay

He saw me
Peeped me
Knew me
Deep into the stranger
Mystery.
Did he feel it?
Thoughts upon stranger tides;
Could he feel it?
Kisses,
Sighs,
Saying goodbyes?
This tearful game of madness
Shouts
Suburbia dreams
Antiquated ideas
Da da-daaah
Duh duh-da
And words don't equate clear
So I ponder
His depths of me
Iris deep
Contemplating
Why
I'm looking upon
One too many
Searching for the faint inspiration
Of adultery...
©2014clarencecbess

Thinner

Skeletons make cool
Skeletons sell
Cool
Skeletons remind
Finality inescapable
Draped in chic
Momentary divine
Genetics sublime in youth
I watch their flesh adhere to sheets
As age shallows their supply
Tissues their skin
Paints with bruises and blotches...
I am grateful for my spread
The way time has treated me
Balance
Never too much
Never too little
I am skeleton no more
Hollow
Just waiting to return
This borrowed shroud
Expenditure
Into existence and desire
Procreation
Revelation that the skeleton is just God's
Hanger
For the costumes of humanity and beyond.
He scares me, this skeleton...
They intrigue me, these skeletons.
©2014clarencecbess

Burn

Just the other day I was
Thinking of a thing called pain,
Every little thing it does
To leave you standing in the rain.

Just the other day I cried
At images of your face
And thinking on all which died
To leave me lonely in this place.

Does it burn you
The way it burns me?
Does it turn you over in your sleep?
Does it burn hot
Or does it burn cold?
Does it make you want lose control?
Does your fever run high?
Is your spirit now free?
Does it burn you
When you're thinking on me?
It could've been right,
It may have been wrong,
But now there's only ashes to go on.

Just the other day I tried
But the pain wouldn't go away
Just the other day I died
Thinking again on
What I could've done
To make you stay;
Just another season
Or could it be a lesson to learn
It's Just another reason
For you to cast your burn...

Does it burn you
The way it burns me?
Does it turn you over in your sleep?
Does it burn hot
Or does it burn cold;
Does it make you want lose control?
Does your fever run high
Now that you are free?
Does it burn you
The way it burns me?
It could've been right
It could've been wrong
But now there's only dreams to go on.
©2014clarencecbess

Spring Doe

Reflection kisses itself
Looks across the divide to me
Innocence and wonder
As I become another lesson in his young world.

She pulls him closer
Comfort and warmth
Him crossing his legs just like her
And I am taken
Emulation
She is subtle in her words
And he in return
Tells his secret story barely above a whisper.

There is no phone in his hands
And his vocabulary is one of respect
He is already light years ahead
Because of love
And I suspect by the way she takes his hand
Guiding him off the train
He will remain with his doe eyes
For many years to come.

It is becoming more and more striking
To see the face of a child
Upon the face of a child.
©2014clarencecbess

Dumburbia

I thought it was dream
Until her words came through
Oh, I wanted to scream
But what would that prove?
Agenda reveals it's teeth
In the battle for youth
Privilege paves the way
I'm tired of the proof.
It goes beyond caring
Trying to lift a soul up high
We forget what we're sharing
Simply want to deny;
She took it personal
That I could give a damn
Their actions judge me each day
And not for who I am.
I've tasted more tears of sorrow
Watching them go by
But it's the flavor of hate
It's getting harder to deny
To let rest on my tongue
Every time they get by
With making such decisions
Clipping my children's wings for flight.
Not about the vision
It's just what's right
Not about our anger
It's just what's right
Not about the power
Just what it does further to a people
Stuck on repeat
In the eyes of those whom wield control...

©2014clarencecbess

36 Blossoms

Lest these blooms disperse
Beyond this forest
Their beauty echoing before them,
I fear the keeper's wrath.

Stubbornness abound
Too late to liberate them
From the rampant recidivism of their flesh,
They'll wither
Collect at the base of subsistence
And be gathered to perpetrate their master's plan.

Lest theses blooms are tended
The disentanglement of their bouquet
From these brambles set
Shall be brutal;
Premature deaths
The song of their screams billowing
Like sheets to a wind,
Stunning violence.

I witness 36 blossoms born.
36 blossoms grow,
Then 36 blossoms die.
All at the hand of their keeper.
©2014clarencecbess

M

Beyond love.
Beyond gratification.
So far beyond words to express
All that you mean.
Mother.
Greatest gift bestowed upon me
Greatest supporter uplifting me
God's breath within my ear
Reminding in my actions
The end result of her sacrifices
Patience and sheer genius in raising me.

Beyond love.
I think on constantly
How best to express those moments
Where I feel you in my soul;
In the words of others
As I hear their praise;
In those moments where I stand aside proud
That I
Got
IT,
The overall message
Of joy and laughter
Perseverance through the struggle
Smiling at every possible moment
Because the alternative...

Well, we've had that conversation already.

I love you beyond existence
Don't know what I would do without you
Don't even want to think about it;
Beyond love,
Beyond words,
Only the actions of my heart
And a hope you know this.

Mother.
Mom.
'Lane.
Vivian.

It all comes back to love.
©2014clarencecbess

Butterscotch Cocoa

Butterscotch cocoa
Makes me wanna go-go
Dream
Underneath the flowers
Lazily beside the stream.

Butterscotch cocoa
How you gonna go-go
Smiling at me
Then never want to follow
When I wanna go-go
Down your stream?

Butterscotch cocoa
Why is love a no-no
And while we're at it
Why you staring at me?
You make me wanna go-go
Somewhere that's a no-no
To play with flowers in my dreams.

Maybe you don't know so
Despite the fact I say so;
Maybe you don't care so
Maybe I should go-go

Butterscotch cocoa
You're the only one I want to taste
Despite the overflow so
Of all the other sweets in this place;
And would it be a low blow
To say I think it quite so
That you get a kick out of watching me crave?
I think I need to go-go
If it's only just a no-no
The contents behind your wrapper embrace.
©2014clarencecbess

Without Words

Without words I sing
Call you to come
Rest here upon mine heart
Beating now only for you.

Without words I dream
Make due until your arms can still me
Rest me from the movement of this hunt
Inescapable for a better song to sing
Like these birds in flight above me
Freedom works best with wings.

Without words I love you
Want to
Every day you
The smile you bring to my weary truth
Ignition to this slowing mind
As it tries not to petrify in age;
You
Renew
Without words
Undo the coils of my existence
Send my walls to ruin
Setting my secrets free
Leaving only a lifetime to spend with you
Without words
Only peace.
©2014clarencecbess

To The Bone

Winter won't leave my bones
Despite rainbow blossoms
And scents to follow.
Won't leave my script
Remains bleeding from my pen
An open wound left to fester in the approaching heat
Of change.

My shades refuse to rise
The ebony infinity holds me
Echoes me into a submission only faith could rival
Despite promises of better days relentlessly bombarding
Breaking through to cast hazy shadows of hope
Around those loosened parts of me
Worn from my now ancient attempts to greet heaven
In this ongoing hell I was taught to seek respite from.

Winter won't leave my bones
Won't divorce me
Release me
Allow me to thaw in all my dreams
Dancing just beyond my mind's cells;
Won't sing the final chorus
Connect the final phrase
And leaves me as incomplete as...
©2014clarencecbess