Announcing...

Just in time for the holidays, introducing a new line a greeting cards featuring poetry by yours truly!

In collaboration with photographer Todd Ifft, we are proud to offer these unique images and words within a greeting card form. All images personally selected by me, each corresponding poem has been written to reflect the image it is paired with. Thought provoking, you'll want each one and highly anticipate what will follow!

Click the link below, then click "Other Products", and "Note Cards"

http://toddifft.fotomerchant.com

Done.

Said it best
Spare the rod, spoil the child.

Yes, I recognize that I live in a different world
Recognize that I am a relic
Another antiquated piece of history
My nation works at erasing
Eradicating from it's pages
Until sheets are left riddled with stains
From words and deeds now apparitions
And bullet holes where our collective soul drained
To again fuel
As it did before
Our captors greed.

Yes, I got whipped as a child
Whooped as a child
Beat
As a child;
To that end, I am now loathed
Because I say 'yes 'mam'
'No sir' and think to nod in acknowledgement
Of another human being
Another struggle
Another sense of purpose
And, hell
Just to brighten someone's day.

I got a beat-down every so often
For my actions
And the fact I repeatedly tried to have things go my way
Crossed boundaries
And refused to
Get with the program
Of survival out of love
And ensuring I was a productive citizen
Able to hold my own
Know my worth
And never let a system make decisions for me
That I should be making for myself.

I got tore up
Marked up even once
My mother so tired of my lies and attempts
To publicly humiliate her that she needed to go there
Needed to get in that ass to such a degree...

Parenting it was called
Better to sting for a little now
Than to hurt for a lifetime
Fuel for a lifetime
My country's need
To keep a nigger in place
Because the heart of the place
Puritanical
Only recycles the same blood it shed to exist;
Because the soul of this place...
Well, does an animal even have one?

So to answer the question on your mind,
Yes
I would strike my child
Whip my flesh
Spank my blood
Get into that ass
And love them
Love them
Pray them understanding
Hope them strong respectful minds
That understand the nature of the beast
Which lies in wait behind these Stars and Stripes
Ready to devour
Masticate them spiritually
Masturbate them commercially
And shit them out
Into the next ghetto province it seeks to create...
©2014clarencecbess

That Time Again...

So here I am
In thought again
Beneath cumulus decisions
As I make my way past fields
Overgrown
with desperation
And a content destructive, stunning.

Somewhere amongst these paths
I exist
Wonder whether dreams
As mine
Are seductively
Unconsciously peppered with regret
And a longing for completion
A full circle of strength,
And a balance,
Which in my age I've come to learn
Come only with dialogue.

First external.
A sharing of knowledge
In preparation of futures uncertain
With that persistent factor
Time
And a fact it only favors those whom prepare
Run head-first into it
Knowing they cannot conquer,
But can become palatable manipulators.

External
Behind closed doors
Full of history
An understanding of foundations placed
Before
And before that
Yet still before them
And the steady destruction brought
By others who've mastered the manipulation
Of the collective mind.

External
As in language and dialogue
Presentation
And the fact you cannot change your skin
However you can your tone
And actions which communicate a thirst
For knowledge
Beyond sidewalks and trappings
Masqueraded as freedoms
As choice.

External;
I remember when he said
'understand and always be aware of your surroundings'
For once you truly see where you are
You will certainly understand where it is you want to go
And how to get there
Avoiding the obstacles bound to be placed in your path
Leading to dialogues
Internal
And desires to never perpetrate those things
They
Would have
Us
To be...

©2014clarencecbess

Delayed

You are beautiful.
Point blank
A creation complex
I want to visit over and over again
In this museum of ages.

You peer down
To the side
Any way to avoid me;
You know I stare
Across this void
Across this place in shambles
As others look to me
Thinking
They
Are the inspiration for my eyes
Upon and beyond.

I watch your spread
Think how I'd love your spread
Despite;
Inspite
Of those things which haunt my mind
When it comes to the perfection I witness in you.

I think you question.
I think you curious of natures
And these railways beneath...
You want express to thine heart,
But there is only local
Left behind
Forced to clean up the mess
Of another possible love
Exiting too many stops too soon.
©2014clarencecbess

Release

Complex goodbyes
He exits with delicate deliberate moves
Ducking behind the column
To wave a last farewell.

She stutters in her age
Nervously offering reciprocation
As time is winning
From her heels to her hands
Further still to her face
She smiles now alone
Thinking of this possible last chance
Last dance for love.

I wonder them
I
We in the schemes
And trappings of this need
Despite gravity
Of situation and flesh;
I go back to his eyes
His
Contorted visage
And how beautiful it became
As that moment unfolded
And he hid there
Only for her
For them
For that elongated departure
And the fact that he was just as surprised
There could be any interest.

I knew this watching
Observing one of the finer points of existence
They looked like first timers,
Or was it long time since'rs?
Regardless,
They bring color vivid
To my otherwise monotone palate
As he finally makes his way up the station stairs
A nervous twitch in his spine
His body
His heart
Longing to steal just one more glance
And she
Now snuggling eyes-closed
In the memories of a touch
And the playful games
One whom's in love
Can never tire of playing...
Release.
©2014clarencecbess

Goodbyes Going

Connection again
I am charged
Rejuvenated
with the elixir of possibility
Of tasting
Holding
Knowing you in ways
I thought had vanished
As days slipped into weeks
Ran quicker still to months
Which flew on to become years.

Connection again
I no longer wait on my heart's
proverbial line for a human voice
to answer my multitude of questions
of questions
about the already far too many questions
I've asked as I pondered you
In the lines of another story
As I scripted yet another verse
in preparation of this moment here with you now.

Now
I stare again profoundly into you
Watch you tumbling over reality and wants
On to resolution that
This
Is us
and that all we have is now
along with the burden of goodbye
Again
and those promises uttered
just to keep the heart going
Pulse going
Dream
Going
Goodbyes
Going...
©2014clarencecbess

Watchstop

60
Seconds to pray the DJ won't stop
This groove
Washing over me
Causing me to feel
50
Feet high
Despite my lack of mule and
40
Acres to grow
Plant
Entrench
My seed
The longevity of me
Upon this swirl amongst swirls.

Now beyond
30
I look at decisions
Reverse how I got here
Ask
Seriously?
Was it that easy to change course?
Of course,
Hindsight
20/20
I find my balance lies in understanding
I can and shall
Just as this rhythm flows
With ease and purpose
To move all whom hear to that end
Some
10
Steps in the making
Beyond
9
Moments of regret,
8
Minutes of pleasure
And the
7
Sins they encompassed
As
6
Wishes turned memories
Found me
5
Fingers away
From that ultimate touch
As I reached
4
Heaven,
That divine
3
Father
Son
Holiness
2
Make myself complete
In that
1
Selection...
©2014clarencecbess

Beat

I love this place
These moments
Lost in the j's interpretation
Of what it is these masses
Us
The swarm want to feel.

This is elemental
Mental
Subliminal
This pounding as every bump
Works it's way deeper against my cavity;
This is a truth
This place
And the souls gathered to release
Relate
With every ounce of everything which flows
To
From
And beyond them
In this cosmic
Cataclysmic movement that is
The turntable
Beneath our creator's hands...
©2014clarencecbess

Ah, Yes

With that, satisfaction came
Lifted me to a place only God could conquer.
I thought him,
rolled him over my pallet
swallowed and,
'Yes'
Finality
Oneness
Taking-IN-ness
To a point of fulfillment
and a licking of lips-ness
like LL Cool J sexiness satisfaction
Dreams
Wants.
With those,
Syllables
I punctuated myself to an end
To my structure
That
Now
This was possible
And I was officially a part
Of that exclusive club known as...
Palpitations
Dumbfoundness
Anticipation
and a wanting to never part
From those eyes
And the depths of the soul
Which lay beyond them;
With that,
I tumble again and again...

©2014clarencecbess

The Hunt

Right now
In this early hour
In the moisture of this morning's growing dew
I want to hunt.
I want to close my eyes and listen for you
Hear those creatures of the night
As they seek me too;
I want my heart to race
With fear and excitement
My prize
A capture or two
Maybe you
I want euphoria sustained
For my flesh to tingle
Mingle with the brush
As deliberate footfalls
And hushed conversations
Between the creatures of the night
Make for bedtime stories
Tomorrow with drinks and friends;
My prize
A capture or two
Maybe you
Right now in this early hour
In the slow of the sun's rise
Just beyond the point of
Too late to care
I want to hunt.
I want to open my soul to the trees
And creatures watching amongst them
As I reconnect
To my self
That part of me I cannot explain
Don't want to explain
Just enjoy
Primal
Needing
Wanting
Having to conquer
Despite my belly full
A prize
Maybe two...
Maybe you.

©2014clarencecbess

38

Sunlight whispers secrets to my dreams
Wakes me reminiscing of things
I can't begin to explain;
The desert of my conscience
Waits for a rain.

Flower's petals bloom to reveal
Universe's essence and still
I long for God to explain
Why with this forest in bloom
Is there so much rain?

Huddled in the darkness of my mind
I embark on a journey to find
Answers to my pain
Explanations for my rains
Over-flooding the fields of me;
My attempts to swim so vain.

Sunlight peeks through the window at me
Fading from clouds upon the horizon I see
Again, I can't begin to explain
That beckoning chorus
Just ahead of those rains.

One would think I've learned by now
To shelter and save
Keep my soul from drowning
Within the storm's wake
One would think I'd be satisfied
Head above the waves
Moving ever-forward towards that land upon the horizon,
But no,
It escapes me,
Because there are always adventures in the wait
New and stunning
They creep through my murk to find me
Again
Each and every time though I try escape
Because pain is comfort
And that window for change seems to only come
This time of the year
This side of a beer
And yes,
The explicit tear
Protruding but never quite falling
From this side of me
As the sun sets and I make blessings of regrets...
©2014clarencecbess

Recede

Not enough time between stations anymore
Never enough time on platforms
To extrapolate and thus form
Staccato verses to inform
The world of my perceptions.

Running out of time standing here
Sitting here
I search for elongated stanzas
Characters to better tell tales
Of this great vanishing act which becomes me
As it was me
And shall be me;
Because it was before me.

Not enough momentum
Even the trains seem slower
With a caution based in lawsuits
And mass spiritual gentrification
Or was that pacification of the mind of this place
Every place in the sunset so far as I can tell.

And Chris drew a picture in school today
One he hoped would make his father cry
A picture of himself with a gun in his hand
Standing by a mass of people with no eyes...

Cartoon characters make easier truths
Of souls running with no life
Than delayed tracks
Inaudible announcements
And too much trash lost from situations that aren't right.
There never seems to be enough time anymore
Looking for answers on faces which speak far too similar
A beige world of existence
I long for colors I cannot comprehend
And a taste upon my tongue
Only the devil could defend...
©2014clarencecbess

Step Step Twirl

People dance just as they did in childhood
They commandeer a space
Maneuvering about everyone's gyrations
As if it was just they and the music;
Move about with an inspiration lacking
As I grey
As I fall prey to the beast of time
And I want to move.

I want to release
Unbounded by the movements taught to me
Which despite my continuous efforts
Haunt
Predicate every response I have to this rhythm known simply
As life....

©2014clarencecbess

Prayer Beyond Sunset

Blue moon sings sweet and low
A delicate tune to open my eyes
Turn the air that surrounds
To something which slows
My thoughts
Allowing me to see clearly
Despite the tainted goggles which grace my face.

Blue moon as I cross the ever again
And promises spoken in haste return;
Children angry anointed with the failings of their father.
Save me
Save me
Save me
Save me...

And would they even care
Knowing where their children are?
Blue moon answers back to me
That I already know the answers to the riddles I produce.

Blue me
Blue moon upon my tongue as stars fall
And left unanswered
Conundrum,
Twisted tones as blues turn to blacks
And midnight's back to me
Scarred and desperate for minutes more to rule
Before sunrise has it's fun...

Blue moon speaks
To blue me
Blue eyes which see
And shed blue tears
Because there are no other shades
No other fates
And truth will cease to reveal itself.
Amen.
©2014clarencecbess

Another Summer Song

The shifts in their strides.
The way they stop at the rails and look out,
Away.
The way the sun kisses gentle in this shade
And I reveal just a tad too much of me.
The way they congregate
Seeking to stain winter's color away
As diamonds dance within the waves
And the clouds
Slow
Appear to stand in place.
The way they sing in my ear
Make love to my eyes
In a procreation of art and life
Just beneath the surfaces of our existence.
Again,
The way he glances
Drops his penny for my thoughts,
And is that two dimes I see next?
Desperation drips,
Like sweat,
Too much effort, and one could drown.
They vacate.
My needs truncate
And I end just as I started;
Questions.
Breeze.
Desire.
Satisfaction...
©2014clarencecbess

Plain Talk

In truth,
It was a pernicious thing,
That decision.
Even more so,
That desire sown through harmonized characters
And existence's
Subdued scream which no one answered to.

In truth,
The mind split;
Partially upon a cross
While the other half traversed a brutal road
Ragged with time's deception
That questions would diminish
And answers abundant
Would grace my ears
Reverberating peace.

In hindsight,
Rear view mirror to the horizon,
No turn I could've taken
Would've delivered me to a happiness
I foreshadowed would never exist;
Which is why I look forward
Past the souls who said no
And a youth I'll never recapture
To slip further into today and tomorrows
I can only pray to see...
©2014clarencecbess

Fifth Floor Looking Out

Fifth floor looking out
Fifth floor wanting out
Now
Fifth floor and I'm in doubt
'Bout what my soul's been putting out;
Karma's bitch, I'm putting out
Giving up the ass without a doubt
Getting fucked from the way I played me
Improvisation
Now it's made me
Target
Nature's imbecile
Target
A daily bitter pill
Which hopes to keep me erect for the masses
Keep me intact for the classes
Classless children whom ingeminate
Mistakes mistaken for advances
Of a colonized mind I longed to escape
And a galvanized will just to vacate
The premesis of my youth
As the cross sought to asphyxiate.

Fifth floor looking out 
Into the pit without a doubt
Watch the next relic put in place
Disappearance of my face
As they race, one hundred k over asking
They trample nature in stampede 
And the penguins?
They're basking;
Bitter pill popped again
Swallow hard
No liquids to ease it down
And now 
The side effects to what I've been asking
To stay in this game a few extra lifetimes
And maybe I'll get it right
On the sixth floor
Behind another door
And music I can dance to
Getting next to, 
(Or is it back to?)
That Lilliputian thing I misplaced
Soul
Sanity
Sanctity
Spirituality
Simplicity
And just knowing,
Better yet,
Loving
Me.

Fifth floor looking out
And then down to the shore
Another success story of puttin' out
Everything and amost everyone that mattered;
But the sights are beautiful still
Abundant still
As the more they changed
You know the rest
And it's best I get to movin'
Shuffling past this time and space meant for me
Even if momentarily 
Yet oh so constantly.
©2014clarencecbess

A Matter of Time

How I wish that you were mine
Time.
How I long to have you
Steal you away from your love
Fate.
How I dream you;
Envision you laying your secrets
Only to mine ears.
To dance with you
Partner you
Waltz you until we are one
And eternity is our playground
In life
Never in death's black slumber.
How I wish that you were mine...
©2014clarencecbess

Pretty Liars

Pretty liars in front of me
Pretty liars beside me
Surrounded by these fallacious beings
My conscious sighs relief I am not taken to pursuit.

I have never bothered with perfection
It is a hollow thing
Which can only occur in one's mind
With a generous nod of hope, that others will agree;
Pretty liars make puppeteers wealthy
Moving effortlessly in tune with their unseen chords
Unseen cords
As they dance the dance of subjugation in hordes
Mistaking options for freedom.

It is a wondrous thing,
Subtlety,
Delicate presentation,
A recognition of the art of presentation
In honor of one's nature and it's place within society;
Pretty liars forget the nature of men
Whom see beauty clear and concise;
They'll still be there in the morning if they love you.
©2014clarencecbess

Findmuck

Ghost lay silent between life and love
And somewhere between my soul did appear
Lost within his eyes sallow and closed
And the image of her head resting there
I saw the beauty of this place where
Souls came together at a quarter past twelve
Rocked to sleep by the rumble and sway
Of this dimension so bold
None of us could imagine another way.

His is the ghost
And I'd compromise for a chance to know that truth
Foray into the depths of an unknown soul
Come again, my friend
You can't know an end
To lids which cover the proof;
So I rest within words I'll rehearse again
As I flee into my fervor of dreams
Sit back beneath the lights
Hold myself tight
Maybe when I awake everything will be alright.

I found myself traveling down a dusty road
Of a memory I never thought too dear
Demons which I thought I'd let go
Their faces began to appear
Strange how the winds began to blow
As if God himself did hear
And to myself I thought
How could I ever forgive those souls
Who instilled all the heartache and fear?

Painful, the truths revealed with time
As the veils of youth begin to ascend
Shameful the fools whom convinced themselves
They've nothing to do with the sin
And ghost lay somewhere between these parallels
Stretched out before me for years;
Why did I have to run so far away?

It would take more than just a dream
To sail beyond the things I've seen
More than the woman who finally appeared
Too late for me to care
Beyond the currency of appease I use to blanket me.
I came to a place where I could live without a name
Needed to be a shadow so I could see
And the whispers upon their breaths would be mine alone
This is what happens when you have no home.

But maybe when I wake It'll be alright...
©2014clarencecbess

Six Fifteen Fourteen

You want words
Want love, I don't know I can give
Caught upon a past paradise
Without sin you live
Leaving me these days
To try and come up with some reason to praise
The way they do
When it comes to you, untouchable
But I can only drown in the proof...

Afterthought
I languish behind
You summed it up when you said
'I prefer' another kind
Please keep your hurt
On a day like this I've enough to go around
The sun
A light
I could never be
Still I long for words of honesty
To show a mortal side
A human face
God afforded you the chance to misplace;
You want words?
Or maybe it's my heart?
My submission?
For me to go in your way?
I know, 'God's'
It comes back to a light
A mystery
A dying uniformity just to get you by
Just to give you hope
Something I clung to every night
That somehow I'd awake and I'd make it right;
This day
I'm pained to say
I wish would just go away.

You want what she gives
Despite the sins
She lingers
Depends
Fulfills your fantasy,
I now,
Only have words
To taste my anger
To make up for your hurt
And questions I have no strength to ask
For all that it's worth
To hear three words
Even now I'm unsure I could utter
Meaningfully
When it comes down to us.

Three words which haunt vividly
Still
Because it continues
This regurgitation of your...
( exhale )

I wish I could tire,
Of hating you both.
©2014clarencecbess

Leftovers

That image upon the passing bus struck me.
Struck me as if a vehicle of it's own
Mowing me down with a truth
Never better expressed
Until that very second
As I headed to the shore for a moment with myself.

The landscape had held me
Made me contemplate words
Deciphering the puzzle which lay upon my mind;
But no,
That was not fate...
Those winds, those bodies,
That place.
No, as usual
My station lay inland
Inward
Inscribed upon city transportation
A remarkable poignant representation
Of all that was and is;
Leftover
From the debris of my youth
And my attempts to move on;
From the debris of choice
And my attempts to live on
More than leftovers
Placed out for me
I thought by them
Turns out, it was God.

I should've known this some time ago
Everything was right there;
That time they even gave me an award
'...the recipient of this award is a person
who is always able to make something out of nothing...'
But even scraps are something.
Remnants are something.
Even
Nothing
Is something
Leftover form the debris of existence.

I just have to decide
Are the leftovers a feast?
Or are they a famine?
©2014clarencecbess

Tasted

I loved the way we tasted
It reminded me of the way we taste
Made me think of what they tasted
That first time
Those many times
Cocoa to cream
Struggle to dream
I wonder why
I dare not dive completely
Into the depths of a darkness
One would think familiar and comforting.

I love the way you tasted
Familiar mystery
You lay upon my tongue
A weight of understanding
I could not help but question
Which no one seems to have the time for;
Your rebuke violent and swift
Caused me to fall
Again
Into the cracks of broken dreams
And possibilities no longer sacred.

With every touch of your hand
A yearning called
To return again
To you
There
Where passion and desire culminated in a kiss...
Yes,
I love the way we tasted,
The way we teased,
I teased,
You attempting to seduce
And the both of us loving
If just for minute
Thoughts of what could be
If one of us would listen.
If one of us would hear.
©2014clarencecbess

Songbird

I once heard a bird sing
Proud and eloquent
Telling tales of it's many flights
To wisdom

I once heard a bird sing
Of freedom and strength
Through bars physically replaced
With a mental stronghold ever more present
Upon the songs of a lost flock
Left to the skies with no discernible path
To follow
Intrinsically
So that success
Despite those ever-present
Meticulously placed obstacles
Would forever be branded upon their generations.

I once heard a bird sing
And it sounded as if she sang to me
My history
Our future
Together beneath those joyful skies
I forget all to often possible
Because all I can witness from my perch
Are clouds
Weighted with the tears of my ancestors ashamed
Equality's march seemed to have ended
No sooner than it took such great leaps forward;
And not by the hands of the keepers,
But by the wings of those
Who shunned their sense to fly
Beyond the clouds to that eternal blue
We are so bound to.

I once heard a bird sing
In it's final flight
A return to it 's creator
A legacy proud
As others joined in chorus;
Her work done here,
This is why she sang every morning
Despite the storms which came
Why she praised every day
Despite the caws of those other birds attempting to drown out her message
Why she lifted all you listened
Learned
Making sweeter such consolidated lives
Overburdened with the task of living
Over and beyond a blue
They somehow forgot existed.
©2014clarencecbess

Touché

Touché
The guided hand strikes across the face.
Now
Action will come
Present and full
Because the massa' and overseer have been bitten.

The field niggers whisper
Some with a touch of glee
All with a tinge of fear;
It's getting harder to camouflage this plantation's crimes.
The world is changing
Has changed
And the fruit of those sewn seeds
Has come to a fruition;
The deal with the devil
For a sense of control
Has the belles in a sweat they all thought they'd escaped when they first sat at the big table and haughtily voiced 'come! You there! Bring unto me my desires.'

The house niggers wait.
Closer to the fallout
They feel a sense of security, having laid with the family at their feet.
'The floor of missus' room
Is better than the entire shack' says their faces.

Touché
Whispers echo at who will be next.
I see the new offenders honing their skills of escape and pleading
Watch them observe
Ingesting their elders trials and triumphs,
Gunning for the HNIC
Because that's the one who wields
Brings the operation to a stop,
Even if momentarily,
Becomes hero to that mass of diluted faces
Too watching
Too waiting
Too learning
In this regurgitation of history.

Yes indeed,
Touché.
©2014clarencecbess

Turtle

Turtle hangs his ancient head low
Parts with memories
He can no longer carry beneath his shell
Now as dusty as the years which have passed
Aging him
Bowing him
Confining him,
Though I believe personally,
To stare upon the road.

Periodically
His head rises
Catching glimpses of the now people;
He turns facing outwardly away to watch the cityscape pass
And I am left to wonder his manicure
And the story of his somehow
Intentional unkemptness.

Turtle I've named him,
The arch of his spine
Alcohol?
Drugs?
Age?
Life I figure
Hard and purposeful
This is the consequence biological and otherwise.
Is that me there beneath his blackened nails
At the ends of his silvering hair?
He moves forward
Aware of the stops
Recognizing yet bowed.
I wonder his God...

Is this me?
Is this me?
©2014clarencecbess

State of Awareness

Because my sunrise dims faster every day
Because my heart outweighs my pay
And I know I'll lose more than I will save

Because she got the better deal
Purse instead of steel
And afterthought's become my mantra;
Because my people are my people
Relegated consumerist
Because my government needed a system
And nobody else would be havin' it

Because I'm not a hero to my students
And won't be a victim for my politicians
Numbers are best for dollar bills
Because the alternative would be chaos
But maybe that's God's will

Because my heart can't take it
Never knowing the blood it pumps origin
I am forever shadow across the hues of this and other lands;
And murder is just a shout away.

Because I enjoy the morning most
Blessed surprise
Every day
A birth day
Renewed chance to hone my goals
To make my dreams a reality;
Spring's vibrancy coupled with morning's dew,
And you?

Because she stares a little more each day
Wants a moment more each time
Despite my attempts to drown within my mind
I'm curious about her curiosity
As it makes for another line.

Because it is now, as it was then
Consistently inconsistence becomes my survival
Looking for new paths off the trail
Man's planned for me;
And I can witness it upon their faces
Every day inching closer to a world
Ready to masticate their being
Swallow their souls
Ingesting the nutrients of promises
To defecate what remains upon a plate for their spawn to ingest...

Because I work in reality
One stop away from the line's end
Unless transfer is made
To an express opposite direction of the mind
And I am tired
Too tired
So
Tired
And the dew won't survive the morning.

And you?
©2014clarencecbess

Internal Affair

Sometimes
I think I couldn't love you more.
Like trying to find another reason to love
Love
It breaches upon impossible
In a repetitive world of clichés
Forget me nots
Not out of genuine emotion
Rather that unconscious knowledge
That unless we do things otherwise
It's just a matter of time before we dissipate
Beyond memory
Into the sheer nothingness of time.

Sometimes I stumble on you
A path I thought familiar
Memorized down to those basic details
Even I forget to notice in myself;
Stumble because you surprise me
In the answers to those questions of you
Leaving me lost in my heart's labyrinth
Hoping not to run into the beast of survival
I created to guard those fragile chambers.

Sometimes I create you
Momentarily forgetting who you are
And need
You to do the same;
Wash me anew
Equating me to those fantasies which drive you,
Will you
When something about me
Just won't do.

I couldn't love you more
Than I have
Do now
Will in perpetuity
As the residuals of fate's episodes
Rain upon me
Leaving me to drown in you.
©2014clarencecbess

Mind Lay

He saw me
Peeped me
Knew me
Deep into the stranger
Mystery.
Did he feel it?
Thoughts upon stranger tides;
Could he feel it?
Kisses,
Sighs,
Saying goodbyes?
This tearful game of madness
Shouts
Suburbia dreams
Antiquated ideas
Da da-daaah
Duh duh-da
And words don't equate clear
So I ponder
His depths of me
Iris deep
Contemplating
Why
I'm looking upon
One too many
Searching for the faint inspiration
Of adultery...
©2014clarencecbess

Thinner

Skeletons make cool
Skeletons sell
Cool
Skeletons remind
Finality inescapable
Draped in chic
Momentary divine
Genetics sublime in youth
I watch their flesh adhere to sheets
As age shallows their supply
Tissues their skin
Paints with bruises and blotches...
I am grateful for my spread
The way time has treated me
Balance
Never too much
Never too little
I am skeleton no more
Hollow
Just waiting to return
This borrowed shroud
Expenditure
Into existence and desire
Procreation
Revelation that the skeleton is just God's
Hanger
For the costumes of humanity and beyond.
He scares me, this skeleton...
They intrigue me, these skeletons.
©2014clarencecbess

Burn

Just the other day I was
Thinking of a thing called pain,
Every little thing it does
To leave you standing in the rain.

Just the other day I cried
At images of your face
And thinking on all which died
To leave me lonely in this place.

Does it burn you
The way it burns me?
Does it turn you over in your sleep?
Does it burn hot
Or does it burn cold?
Does it make you want lose control?
Does your fever run high?
Is your spirit now free?
Does it burn you
When you're thinking on me?
It could've been right,
It may have been wrong,
But now there's only ashes to go on.

Just the other day I tried
But the pain wouldn't go away
Just the other day I died
Thinking again on
What I could've done
To make you stay;
Just another season
Or could it be a lesson to learn
It's Just another reason
For you to cast your burn...

Does it burn you
The way it burns me?
Does it turn you over in your sleep?
Does it burn hot
Or does it burn cold;
Does it make you want lose control?
Does your fever run high
Now that you are free?
Does it burn you
The way it burns me?
It could've been right
It could've been wrong
But now there's only dreams to go on.
©2014clarencecbess

Spring Doe

Reflection kisses itself
Looks across the divide to me
Innocence and wonder
As I become another lesson in his young world.

She pulls him closer
Comfort and warmth
Him crossing his legs just like her
And I am taken
Emulation
She is subtle in her words
And he in return
Tells his secret story barely above a whisper.

There is no phone in his hands
And his vocabulary is one of respect
He is already light years ahead
Because of love
And I suspect by the way she takes his hand
Guiding him off the train
He will remain with his doe eyes
For many years to come.

It is becoming more and more striking
To see the face of a child
Upon the face of a child.
©2014clarencecbess

Dumburbia

I thought it was dream
Until her words came through
Oh, I wanted to scream
But what would that prove?
Agenda reveals it's teeth
In the battle for youth
Privilege paves the way
I'm tired of the proof.
It goes beyond caring
Trying to lift a soul up high
We forget what we're sharing
Simply want to deny;
She took it personal
That I could give a damn
Their actions judge me each day
And not for who I am.
I've tasted more tears of sorrow
Watching them go by
But it's the flavor of hate
It's getting harder to deny
To let rest on my tongue
Every time they get by
With making such decisions
Clipping my children's wings for flight.
Not about the vision
It's just what's right
Not about our anger
It's just what's right
Not about the power
Just what it does further to a people
Stuck on repeat
In the eyes of those whom wield control...

©2014clarencecbess

36 Blossoms

Lest these blooms disperse
Beyond this forest
Their beauty echoing before them,
I fear the keeper's wrath.

Stubbornness abound
Too late to liberate them
From the rampant recidivism of their flesh,
They'll wither
Collect at the base of subsistence
And be gathered to perpetrate their master's plan.

Lest theses blooms are tended
The disentanglement of their bouquet
From these brambles set
Shall be brutal;
Premature deaths
The song of their screams billowing
Like sheets to a wind,
Stunning violence.

I witness 36 blossoms born.
36 blossoms grow,
Then 36 blossoms die.
All at the hand of their keeper.
©2014clarencecbess

M

Beyond love.
Beyond gratification.
So far beyond words to express
All that you mean.
Mother.
Greatest gift bestowed upon me
Greatest supporter uplifting me
God's breath within my ear
Reminding in my actions
The end result of her sacrifices
Patience and sheer genius in raising me.

Beyond love.
I think on constantly
How best to express those moments
Where I feel you in my soul;
In the words of others
As I hear their praise;
In those moments where I stand aside proud
That I
Got
IT,
The overall message
Of joy and laughter
Perseverance through the struggle
Smiling at every possible moment
Because the alternative...

Well, we've had that conversation already.

I love you beyond existence
Don't know what I would do without you
Don't even want to think about it;
Beyond love,
Beyond words,
Only the actions of my heart
And a hope you know this.

Mother.
Mom.
'Lane.
Vivian.

It all comes back to love.
©2014clarencecbess

Butterscotch Cocoa

Butterscotch cocoa
Makes me wanna go-go
Dream
Underneath the flowers
Lazily beside the stream.

Butterscotch cocoa
How you gonna go-go
Smiling at me
Then never want to follow
When I wanna go-go
Down your stream?

Butterscotch cocoa
Why is love a no-no
And while we're at it
Why you staring at me?
You make me wanna go-go
Somewhere that's a no-no
To play with flowers in my dreams.

Maybe you don't know so
Despite the fact I say so;
Maybe you don't care so
Maybe I should go-go

Butterscotch cocoa
You're the only one I want to taste
Despite the overflow so
Of all the other sweets in this place;
And would it be a low blow
To say I think it quite so
That you get a kick out of watching me crave?
I think I need to go-go
If it's only just a no-no
The contents behind your wrapper embrace.
©2014clarencecbess

Without Words

Without words I sing
Call you to come
Rest here upon mine heart
Beating now only for you.

Without words I dream
Make due until your arms can still me
Rest me from the movement of this hunt
Inescapable for a better song to sing
Like these birds in flight above me
Freedom works best with wings.

Without words I love you
Want to
Every day you
The smile you bring to my weary truth
Ignition to this slowing mind
As it tries not to petrify in age;
You
Renew
Without words
Undo the coils of my existence
Send my walls to ruin
Setting my secrets free
Leaving only a lifetime to spend with you
Without words
Only peace.
©2014clarencecbess

To The Bone

Winter won't leave my bones
Despite rainbow blossoms
And scents to follow.
Won't leave my script
Remains bleeding from my pen
An open wound left to fester in the approaching heat
Of change.

My shades refuse to rise
The ebony infinity holds me
Echoes me into a submission only faith could rival
Despite promises of better days relentlessly bombarding
Breaking through to cast hazy shadows of hope
Around those loosened parts of me
Worn from my now ancient attempts to greet heaven
In this ongoing hell I was taught to seek respite from.

Winter won't leave my bones
Won't divorce me
Release me
Allow me to thaw in all my dreams
Dancing just beyond my mind's cells;
Won't sing the final chorus
Connect the final phrase
And leaves me as incomplete as...
©2014clarencecbess

Chasm

Across the divide he reminds
This
Is what they want of me.
Hair pressed into submission
One night stocking, du-rag at a time;
Laces undone
As if no knot was the ultimate rebellion.

The is what they want of me;
Clean-shaven
No curly-curl reminders about my face
How dare this nigger take such a relaxed unkempt approach
And have the cells to hold conversation
Equation to me!

Across the divide
I witness them in study.
The degree of understanding the negro,
I guess you would call it conundrum,
Engrosses their faces
Because despite the media's truths,
Despite law enforcement's truth,
Despite that hidden
Truth
We are so much more than the sum presented,
They still have not a clue as to what to make of
Us
Here in these hills of opportunity and dreams
Long past their glimmer
Now rusted shackles waiting for the next soul
To wait to be sold.

I will never be the man across from me.
Will never long to be that of the now
Pressed,
Or as the old-timers said
'Fried, dyed, and laid to the side'
Of individuality
And a desire to remind myself of past paradises tumultuous
Yet teeming with a hope
Now relegated to rose-hued faded snapshots
Collecting dust on a mantle
And digital snippets of a Soul Train dance line
As we boogie-woogied into a future,
I would argue,
That was far bleaker than our past
Across the divide amongst
And within ourselves.
©2014clarencecbess

Face To Face

I came upon truth at the summit
Approached cautiously, because it has a way
Of hurting
Inflicting a pain one can never know if they are ready for
Or not.

There within the violet and saffron hues of a setting sun
Our palaver commenced;
I accepted some revelations with ease
While others caused anger to swell,
It is never easy to see one's reflection for the first time.

Truth laughed heartily,
Paused a moment,
Then withdrew a cigarette and lit it in the most deliberate fashion.
I likened it to a swell before the surge;
A destructive wave
Cast about from my tsunami of existence
Sent to wash over me
Drown me
Erode the very foundation of me
Till I am nothing but grains of moments
Hoping to coalesce on the shores of memory;
Someone's.
Anyone's.

Truth paused,
Inhaled
Held that thought and watched me
Waited on me to break
Then exhaled through a set of gritted teeth.
Was it frustration?
I could not decipher through the ribbons of smoke now caressing it's orifice.

Speaking,
That single word speared me,
Harpooned my core and bled me of everything I thought I knew;
Thought I wanted to know.
And reaching for the nearest projectile
I realized there was nothing to grab but my own consciousness
Now hollow and weightless.

Try as I may
That single word escapes me
Teases me in shadow
Just as truth meant it I'm sure,
Has me searching the libraries of my world awake
Longing.

Longing...
©2014clarencecbess

Ocean Ave. Blue Note

Navy blue collar gave way
To baby blue collar high rise;
Joe the bum, always earning with a joke
Got killed in a stroller drive-by;
My grease spot's now gluten-free
And there's no pork to go on my rye
I'd tell 'em all to go to hell
If I thought it'd make it right.

If I thought it'd make it right,
I'd scream from my lungs,
Paint the streets with my rage
Dark crimson mentality
Flowing
Trickle to stream
To flooding history
Life;
And therein lies the problem
This metamorphosis is
Life
Constant as the minutes before
And those which are to be born
Of that exact need to survive
Which surrounds all we know to exist.

The feeding
Gorging
Purging;
Digestion is the synopsis of this and other places;
Here
It just goes a little faster.
The metropolitan vessel churns
Lubricated by the change it's masses bring
Hurling themselves upon it's gears
In an attempt to belong to the current pace of things
Which tomorrow, shall be relegated only
To memory.
©2014clarencecbess

Beneath the Sunset

The day I die,
Maybe,
Just maybe my lungs will sound
Echo their frustration
Finally
Forever-ly intent on wrapping me up
In finality
Nil-happenstance
An understanding of culmination
Me
I
One
With the dregs of existence
Longing for nothing more
Than a chance to contemplate
Extrapolate
Maybe then dictate my meaning
Upon closed eyes
Bowed head
Forced meaning of society...

Trash to treasure.
Mystery to resolution
Cold case to scorching instantaneous absolution
My epitaph to the clearing.

How much does it cost to breathe now?
©2014clarencecbess

Like It Is

It was just the facts of life.
Adolescent conversations I'd wished I had
So that maybe now
I'd be a little less awkward
Better socially prepared
Not nearly as shocked
When I want to taste from the cornucopia
And my knuckles are rapt
Because well,
Society still doesn't want me.

It was just the facts of life
I repeated throughout the years;
You are a black male first
And that alone makes you an enemy of the state
And despite whatever monumental success you attain
Prepare for it all to be snatched away;
Society will take every opportunity to remind you of your place.

It was just the facts of life
They joked about.
Throwing stereotypes like javelins
Olympians longing for the gold
Perpetrating
Emulating
Sustaining
And unbeatable record of discord
Against the slap-happy notion
We can all get along if we try.

Differences stoke the fire
Abnormalities just the same
The mind is a temple easy to build
But to tear down, once fortified
Futile;
Irrelevance the song
Echoing each time I hear them
Know where they came from
Where they are headed
Leaving me to weep
Because solutions,
Escape as easily as the wind from lungs it takes
To produce the pain of repetitive ignorance.
©2014clarencecbess

Half Me

I see him and wish he were mine.
Wish my influence wasn't so bound
To the minute and second hands of our environ.

Everyday he smiles, and though fleetingly,
I find that I'm staring at myself
A carbon copy from another universe;
I try my best to warn him
Accolade him when apropos
Joke with him that I couldn't be his dad
When in truth, I could so be.

He is the culmination of my fears and possibilities
Slipping further away to that unknown place
Not quite regret;
He is the hand I've longed to take
Since I was a boy
'Three sons' I'd said, before I realized
Responsibility and reproduction often now
Do not go hand-in-hand;
His is the face I see when she walks by
And I genetically and
Visually splice an offspring.

Maybe that's why it also sickens me to see him,
This dream,
Behind my eyelids so long, I know it when I'm awake,
Because as long as I'm here,
Others will come
And I can only hope this feeling
As with all things reconciled
Will pass away
Each time the mirror of ages reminds
That it all ends with me
And nothing will go on...
©2014clarencecbess

It

I can't stop thinking
The effect has me full
Yet wanting still to cup my hands beneath the stream
Of sober intoxication
Inebriated wisdom
That clarity which arrives
On steeds wild
Free to trample the plains of my mind
As they race ahead of reality's front,
Ominously approaching.
©2014clarencecbess

Until Then

I'd like to think he waited till midnight
With his thoughts, anticipations,
Desires
All there, just outside her door.

I passed him twice.

First pass, about ten-thirty
He was a romantic
Roses in in hand
The really real ones
Not the dyed bodega ones,
They were the ones of passion
Possibility
Respect;
A romantic maybe attempting
To right some relationship injustice
He could've partaken in
Or just an honest surprise
In that temple of hope
That this sacrifice would bring about
Blessings
In the form of conjoining souls,
His
Hers
Maybe even his, as I have no idea who existed behind that door.

Second pass
Just before slumber
Or at least the attempt of,
He seemed broken
A soldier who's witnessed too much
And is courting defeat within his mind.

The roses still bundled
Now lay across his lap
Attempting a slumber of their own;
He stared into his digital vortex
Tearing away a moment only
To glance my way;
Those eyes said
'you know how it goes bro'
In their attempt to maintain masculinity,
Strength
Though I reckon they'd laid at his feet by that point
Understanding sooner than his heart could comprehend
The door was not going to open.
Someone was not coming home.

I'd like to think he waited until midnight,
There's something romantic about it;
Can't say I would've done the same,
But what a comfort that in this world
The hopeless,
Or is it hapless romantic
Still exist
And subtlety
Still manages to have a place
In matters of love and the fairytales spawned...
©2014clarencecbess

I, Chris

In my latest dream
You did devour
Predator to the prey
We didn't get real far
Which one of us could be me
2nd dream
Which would be you?
No shelter near
Camouflaged
I think I've soured
On the taste of you
And yet I pursue
Driver grasping this wheel
Attempting to traverses this pain
Blinding...

Could that be me?
Could that be you?

I need to grow up
Stop looking for those jewels in the rain
Steady downpour of truth and loneliness
But not just you
Hiding behind the boast of others;
I fear I'm drowning.

Diamonds in the rainbow
Add a sparkle to the struggle
A sparkle to the diamonds
Created of the pressures of this existence.

Pie Jesu?
Can you find the time to listen?
Mind you find the time to learn?
I am but an answer to some form of equation
To barely seeing the heat
As I'm caught within article eyes
Society
Making it impossible to sense anything but the night
Hold on;
Gone
This thing haunting
With every turn in the road  of existence.

Wraith of my conscious
Holds on
Dead eyes set to number I think
Slowly and deliberate...
To number one
Beginning endlessly this journey
To the depths of me
And as always,
The destruction I crave so.

©2014clarencecbess

Funky Underground

I am dedicating this piece to Earnie Gardner for providing the moment which inspired this. It has been sitting in a journal for almost 2yrs now, but sang to me of release. Enjoy!

"Funky Underground"

The big one
Barry White beard
Plucked his lady gentle
While the young one
Made true those dreams
As he sat in class
No. 2's in either hand
Drumming out the sounds
That pave the way to coolness
Women's secret places
And enough free drinks
To make a belly proud.

Keyboards light
Almost lost
In the over-bassed reverberations
Of this tiny place
With this tiny band
Making a gargantuan sound of ecstasy
Which laid down
Smooth and deliberate memories
Of a time
When all I wished for
Was a set of parents
Who cursed a bit
Drank a little
And danced in a way
That would make church ladies whisper
But would keep them young
And make me proud at some point to say,
They lived
Providing a sense of reality and balance.

Members came and went
Along a tour through the ages
Of sound
Moving from simplistic
Universal beats
To complicated matters of the heart
And all those polyester snapshots
Everyone smiling
Because we at the time
Were closer to possibility
And moving on up
To our delux forty acres
Underneath the the sky-eye-eye
Despite a cancer that grew among us
To destroy us;
Then again
Maybe that's just evolution inevitable...

For the moment though,
I couldn't care
Transported on this added violin
Taking me down home
Even amongst the urban of this place;
Saw their eyes roll back
The pure fulfillment of competence
As B-B's look-alike modernized
Caressed his Lucille
Climaxing her,
Not to mention a few ladies in the crowd
Now
Upon it's feet
Undulating
An ocean of worshipers
In this house of blue funk
Watching these disciples
Break the bread of truth
Drink the spirit of time
At least for music
So many wish to return to
Live
Beyond studio confines
There where it joins with the masses
Simultaneously building
And tearing down
The houses of our being
©2012clarencecbess

Stage 2

4am on a Thursday morning
And now you move on to stage 2.

Fate and sickness interrupted my dreams
Caused me to pick up my brilliant playground and wander;
Or so I thought,
Because moments later, there you were
Signaling me
Strumming my conscious with your need
Acceptable
For an explanation of events
You think you are ready to hear.

As with step one,
I understand.
It's just the process of things
Evolution of the heart and mind's workings
Still ultimately as mysterious as death;
Finality,
Conclusion,
Words which now and
Forever,
Will reverberate an entirety of new meanings
Within your mind
Because I was number one...
In this one way,
And could never be,
Should never be,
But so need to be
In every other.

Selfish?
Think on it a while.
Corralate
Connect the dots of yesterdays and tomorrows
And as I have so often
So shall you too understand every pieces placement
Movement
Upon this chess set we've named existence.

I know,
It's not what you want to hear right now
What you will never want to hear...
Ever,
But this is stage 2
And nothing I divulge at this time will matter
Despite your thinking it would.
Now there's only the simmer of time
As you've turned things over and over in sorrow and hurt
And are just waiting for this course to be done;
The dishes which leave the best taste take time
And there are many more to flow.
©2014clarencecbess

Highland Shadow

Faith,
That powerful motivator
Descends each time I grace these walls
Walk these paths of mine history.

I lose myself
Wonder
Does my deity
or the faith of these old souls protect me?
Do prayers travel upon the breeze
Following the coast of my existence
To settle upon me
Wrap themselves around my branches
Through my leaves
To cause me to sing this song
Survival
And it's delicate variations
For my forest to hear?

For Jesus is real?
For real?
For living is real
Death is mystery
Faith, obedience
Obedience, structure
An attachment to that which methodically
Is torn down by it's very architect
Truth.

Each time I return
I understand a little more
Acquiescence a little more
Because the spirit too is me
Despite my will to abolish it
From those fields of my follies...
©2014clarencecbess

Unconscious Alteration

Wheeling these streets
Faded hues speak.
Everywhere I look
Snapshots spring forward of what used to be
As I hear our younger selves call.

Stories froth within my mind
Leaving me with just as many questions
As I had before I had so many answers;
Where did we go wrong?

Was this God's punishment
That our laborers would be damned
Haunted by our stumblings careless
Intentional with the weight of excuse
That this is a hard world...

The neurosis of my instant self
Against these parched and peeling images
Somehow intently tucked away in my parents closets
Bonded to a degree that to separate them
Would mean a loss of history
Verification
That those captured souls had even existed,
Overtakes me
Rears it's appetite to destroy me
With each new loss
To the former glory
I only now realize we'd existed in...

Wheeling these streets
My routes to expiation explained
I again shift the stitching of my seams.
©2014clarencecbess

Basin

I wanted to write a letter,
But that seemed too formal for our affair.
Wanted to do as he'd done
Look back and find the semblance
Reasons
And acknowledgements of those things which freshly haunt
Of those who
Seek the light
And the fact that you, unlike anyone else,
Enabled
Because, as you stated,
You always had a preference for females
(Thanks for the confirmation of me being an afterthought)....

I wanted to write you a letter
While you still breathe
Not for closure, but to witness any thought of hope fade
In our understanding each other;
This monster you created in me
Has no more tears to shed
Has no more heart to break
Devoid of all longing
It has nothing left
Other than to feed upon itself
A continuous self-sustaining act
Which allows me to exist
Somewhere on the borders of heaven and hell;
Purgatory maybe?

That just makes me come off as adolescent
Yes
But my gaping wound will not close to heal.
Even if you did right by me from beyond the grave
I have enough years to haunt me
Remind me
No amount of breath
No amount of characters scribed
Or verses memorized from your god to mine
Could polish the shit you perpetrated so willingly.

Once you assumed I would take your offer
That I was afraid of the world you were ready to cast me out into
Unprepared
(Purposefully perhaps?)
But I left anyways
Stumbled over and over again
Until I was myself
A man
Sitting here now trying his best to thank a person
Who never once genuinely seemed thankful for him,
A consolation
Pacification of sorts
Still waiting...

I guess I'll just take the next flight out.
©2014clarencecbess

TT

Right now I'm missing it
Thinking on it again too much
To a point I know
Where if I close my eyes
I'd wake up there
And I wouldn't want to return.

You see, right now
I'm wanting it
Thinking of every way possible to get it
To a point of necessity
Damn near a tragedy
Because I know It's of no use to me
At least upon the facade these streets see
As I'm shuffling
Caught in one too many lines
While trying to get back to me
Without seeming selfish and needy.

But if I wake up there,
I'm afraid I'll never leave...
©2014clarencecbess

Fog

How many times must I ask the fog to come
Bring me it's enigma
Shadows and illusions
Dancing elegant with every lead of me
As I run careless into it's embrace?

I wish your brisk vapor to moisturize me
Saturate this depleted breath
Bring fervor my lungs
That the essence may nourish
These tired elements of my composition
Sending me into a movement as unbound as thee.

How many times
Till you
Labyrinthine
Ingest me to be lost within you
Discovering
Figuring
Solving
Till you at last dance with the sun
Dissolving?

I rue my chances of waking
To see you greet my panes
Winter, like you,
Despite the snow I see
Is evolving;
I rue my chances of waking
To think you greet my pains
Then to run to you
Only to be greeted by the rain.
©2014clarencecbess

Eight Inches

Winter lays it's bitter lips upon my flesh
Again
Crystallizes my blood
Until shards desintergrate me from the inside out.

I huddle in my conscience
Warmer with dreams of flight
And a blue veil of clarity which seems lacking now
Here in nature's steel,
Unmoving and brutal.

I long for the sun's love
Think on past frolics within it's rays
Naive ejaculations of achievement and conquering
When alas,
I was the one being conquered.

Long to feel again
Like everything was virgin
Untouched by the sheltered me
Just ripe and waiting to let their nectarous juices flow
Stain my fingers
As they grasp frantically
Because this time,
I know the importance of their sustenance
And I cannot
Will not get enough from their groves
Because I haven't all the time
And I know this all too well.

Winter laid it's bitter lips
Gave me a sweet dream of my everythings
Everywheres;
Left me to huddle
Counting down the days...
©2014clarencecbess

Let That Be A Lesson

It was silent as I looked up and saw him.
Unusual
Because his is the mouth which never ceases.
I waited, but beyond his greeting
Silence.
Morning.
Early.
We engrossed ourselves in caffeine
Print, and whatever else would ease us into reality.
Silence.
I relished this moment
Knowing it wouldn't last;
His conspirators waited
Along with his vernacular spout never slowing.
I hoped the example of us 'working folk'
Would saturate his being
Permeate what things he would choose to learn
Today
Tomorrow
And far beyond those stale paths
Some would desire for him.
My future...
Go figure.
©2014clarencecbess

Broken

You break me down
Bring joy no matter the pain
You, my summer dream
Against winter's truth
I crave to be the sea
Kissing shores of the island of you
Beckoning
Peaceful
Mysterious from afar
But I believe ripe wih love's sustenance
And desire's pulse.

You break me down
Cause me to think too much
Leave life behind
Momentarily in bliss
I always want to complete you
Often the premier thought of my day;
You break me
And I'd bet my heart would mend
A thousand times if necessary
Because it knows no greater truth
Holds no superior motive
Than belonging to you...
©2014clarencecbess

Everywhere

I don't want to be your friend
But it's you I see everywhere
I don't want to give you my love
But with the word I feel you there;
Everywhere.

If ever you would take my hand
I'd just follow you everywhere
Even as you closed your eyes
Through the darkness you'd feel my stare;
Everywhere.

Dreams of you in light
Greet my vision constantly.
God's message possibly?
The weight sometimes suffocates
Of an answer so complete
To speak those words would...

I don't want to be your friend
But it's you I feel everywhere
Air I breathe
What I ingest to be complete
If only I could say those words
Without consequences
Maybe
Just maybe
Their faces would not haunt
Proximity not creep
So close to that place where I fall
And that line blurs between one and three
Laden words of scarce simplicity...
If only.
©2014clarencecbess

Next To Nothing

Fatality
Very definition of these faces
Someone said are supposed to represent me;
Just whose dream am I in anyways?

The murk of their travesties sloshes beneath me
Finds it's way into the microscopic cracks in my soul
Tainting what minuscule hope I had in man;
His ability to manipulate God's elements
Only to have to beg his mercy in repentance.
Which god was it again that created me?

I have a lot of questions.
Too many questions in fact
Embedded in my prayers
Repeated each time I see their faces
Wondering why can't I choose to move on...
Beyond 1976 possibly?

At least that what she said.
And of course there was truth there
Just as much as here
Just as much as there was lies
And carefully placed innuendo;
You, as it is with others, think me the fool.

Fatality.
Fatalistic my strides
As I maneuver between who I am and what I am not
Hoping to attain a casual enough gait
Avoiding suspicion and the ever-present reprimand
Of being made the example of the architect's power...
I think it's about time for a personal uprising.

I am that which is everything as much as it is nothing;
That faint wonder witnessed just when there's a perfect culmination
Of shadow and thought;
That which dissipates only to return.
Universal.
Unanswerable.
©2014clarencecbess

Thus

He spoke the truth
And it struck my ears with joy.
A chance
Real chance
Water on thirst's horizon
I longed more than ever then
In that pure revelation
To drink him
Quench my aching need
Rejuvenate
Returning to my summer self during my current winter of discontent;
Disconnect.

I stared upon memories
Moving further into a past
I long to make current,
And smiled
Thinking 'one day'
Kisses won't be so far
And those emotions will remain present-tense
In those verses I sing
Think on
Dream on
When it comes to this mate
My soul has chosen...

And thus all would be well and warm
Instead of fleeting
As my exhales against this cold which only greets me now.
©2014clarencecbess

Nearly There

They all were so close
Nearly there
Perfection just an issue away
But I couldn't stay within the lines.

I have a habit of coloring beyond borders;
Taking my strokes too seriously
I attempt to make it all so seamless
Photogenic
Until that smear
The blemish which begs redo
Ultimately knowing I will not be satisfied
And so
Crumple that canvas once so promising
It was just a copy anyway...
©2014clarencecbess

Possibly Definitely

On a line
Possibly definitely
I give in
To this vision of things
I think could lift me
Bring
Chocolates and roses
To the place in my dreams
Where admiring melds into loving
Heavy petting
Possibly definitely a little seat wetting;
But back to my waiting.

On a line
Possibly definitely
Coming up with excuses
For my daydreamings
Wanderings
And too many hidden paths enticing
Providing
That release I find lacking in my
Possibly definitely
I envision
Every time the skies are grey
And I am shuttered underneath
My prerequisite blacks
Longing for my pastel spring
Clashing summers
And just plain exploring;
But back to my standing.

On a line
As crowds are rotating
Eyes avoiding this tasteless scene
A man alone
Unmoving
Despite their quiet pleading
For skedaddle
Returning
To the end of the line
Assuming
Possibly definitely it is the only place I've known
Broken of desire
To let loose the tit of survival
Now withered and raw
It only gives more dust
To settle upon my collections of
Possibly...

Definitely.
©2014clarencecbess

Courtney

You kissed me lavender divine.

Stood against the russet brick aglow
From the only warmth the sun would provide
And chuckled in a way I was too naive to know
I was the subject of conversation.

But now I know.

You kissed me lavender divine.

Wanted me out of mystery I assume.
Or was it a challenge?
Spun me with your eyes
Knew me all too well;
Yes, you knew us all too well.

I know this now too.

You kissed me lavender divine.

I walked home that day elated
With every other step
Afraid with every other;
One fell swoop I knew I was not a man
Just a boy with nothing
Your gift a precious thing of memory
Before even the scent could dissipate.

You kissed me lavender divine.

One day which stretched on for years
Gave rise to my insatiable passions
Till there was no boy, but man
Standing and smiling
That his very core could not exist without your history;
Without those precious gifts you bestowed
For whatever reason...
Curiosity?

As I now know, well,
That's just for me.
©2014clarencecbess

Synchronus Muddle

Hues blur past me as the cityscape melds into one seemingly ever-moving streak.
How many times have I wanted to yell
'STOP!'
Hoping somehow that this world would
That this blur would
Just so I could have my personal eternity of clarity.

But we move.
I move.
Crawl, climb, stumble, walk, stumble, run, stumble, fall,
Stumble, creep... die.

In between? Dance.

Most times I think alone,
But as it turns out, far more with others;
Such is joy
Always upon my heels
Where I've moved to
Danced to love too
And four and five
And more times I forget now than I could have ever hoped to remember.

That's what that streak sings to me
Until I come to a stop and there is just silence
And the gathering of more stories
To crowd my passage.
©2014clarencecbess

Shuffle

Shifts methodic,
I stare into tomorrow's poker face
Waiting for my wilds,
My virtually anythings
To fill these gaps
About this hand dealt to me.

My cohorts jovial displays
Seek to remind
I'm always dealing
With the bottom of a deck
I'd swear was stacked with each new hand
Each evolving challenge
Every sinister display
As everyday evolves into faces
Numbers
And sweets too rich
I am stricken with a severe case
Of the runaways
From this and that
And the constant moves
To trip me
Force me
Con me
Into revealing every single miniscule thing
I could possibly be
Come into this age of endless chance...
©2014clarencecbess

Shower Scene

Tonight I scrubbed you away.
Took the pumice to my soul
Deeper the back and forth until it became caked
With the flakes of your promises
Once healthy and new
Now just a residue I watch a steady stream
Pound and flush away.

Tonight I watched you go.
Quietly you fled just as you'd entered my life
Settled upon me
Stained me
Made me stink of you
Till I was unrecognizable
And all there was left of me
Was a somber core
Wrought with failing and crime.

Tonight
I felt you flee.
You knew there was no more
Us;
That I could no longer support your fantasy
And you could neither fulfill my persistent needs
Too false and burdened of hope over action.

We parted
And devoid of you
I was left to know
Whom I truly was and capable of being...

Thank you.
©2014clarencecbess