Black Lotus Mantra

Escaping into one's mind can be a dangerous thing...

"Black Lotus Mantra"

I never knew that I'd get to the end
Never understood how to make a friend
That I would run into life in the dark
That I'd be trapped within the cells of my heart.

Wish my anger could hit on the mark
Want my mental state to shut down and part
Ruined in small rooms with no space to breathe
Still trying to inhale just so I can scream.

Forever I will feel that I'm incomplete
Despite my attempts at conformity
Why do they think that I'm so adjusted?
If only they knew what's inside my head.

Frustration the symbiotic being that feeds
With open and closed eyes as I tackle my dreams
Borrowing existence unable to repay
Must find a means to an end soon one day.

I'd like to define my way out of pain
I'd like to open my mouth in the rain
Ingest the tears as they fall from the sky
Than to be left alone with these words in the night
Bereft of the strength that becomes of the tried
Empty again with no will to fight.

I asked for escape when I was a child
Just to become a man still trapped all the while
Coming to terms with his disease of sorrow
Feeling his freedom will always come tomorrow.

I never knew I'd be left in the night
With words and phantoms devoid of a light
I thought existed with the blessings that come
From first breath to last beneath these stars overhung...
©2009clarencecbess