Let That Be A Lesson

It was silent as I looked up and saw him.
Unusual
Because his is the mouth which never ceases.
I waited, but beyond his greeting
Silence.
Morning.
Early.
We engrossed ourselves in caffeine
Print, and whatever else would ease us into reality.
Silence.
I relished this moment
Knowing it wouldn't last;
His conspirators waited
Along with his vernacular spout never slowing.
I hoped the example of us 'working folk'
Would saturate his being
Permeate what things he would choose to learn
Today
Tomorrow
And far beyond those stale paths
Some would desire for him.
My future...
Go figure.
©2014clarencecbess

Broken

You break me down
Bring joy no matter the pain
You, my summer dream
Against winter's truth
I crave to be the sea
Kissing shores of the island of you
Beckoning
Peaceful
Mysterious from afar
But I believe ripe wih love's sustenance
And desire's pulse.

You break me down
Cause me to think too much
Leave life behind
Momentarily in bliss
I always want to complete you
Often the premier thought of my day;
You break me
And I'd bet my heart would mend
A thousand times if necessary
Because it knows no greater truth
Holds no superior motive
Than belonging to you...
©2014clarencecbess

Everywhere

I don't want to be your friend
But it's you I see everywhere
I don't want to give you my love
But with the word I feel you there;
Everywhere.

If ever you would take my hand
I'd just follow you everywhere
Even as you closed your eyes
Through the darkness you'd feel my stare;
Everywhere.

Dreams of you in light
Greet my vision constantly.
God's message possibly?
The weight sometimes suffocates
Of an answer so complete
To speak those words would...

I don't want to be your friend
But it's you I feel everywhere
Air I breathe
What I ingest to be complete
If only I could say those words
Without consequences
Maybe
Just maybe
Their faces would not haunt
Proximity not creep
So close to that place where I fall
And that line blurs between one and three
Laden words of scarce simplicity...
If only.
©2014clarencecbess

Next To Nothing

Fatality
Very definition of these faces
Someone said are supposed to represent me;
Just whose dream am I in anyways?

The murk of their travesties sloshes beneath me
Finds it's way into the microscopic cracks in my soul
Tainting what minuscule hope I had in man;
His ability to manipulate God's elements
Only to have to beg his mercy in repentance.
Which god was it again that created me?

I have a lot of questions.
Too many questions in fact
Embedded in my prayers
Repeated each time I see their faces
Wondering why can't I choose to move on...
Beyond 1976 possibly?

At least that what she said.
And of course there was truth there
Just as much as here
Just as much as there was lies
And carefully placed innuendo;
You, as it is with others, think me the fool.

Fatality.
Fatalistic my strides
As I maneuver between who I am and what I am not
Hoping to attain a casual enough gait
Avoiding suspicion and the ever-present reprimand
Of being made the example of the architect's power...
I think it's about time for a personal uprising.

I am that which is everything as much as it is nothing;
That faint wonder witnessed just when there's a perfect culmination
Of shadow and thought;
That which dissipates only to return.
Universal.
Unanswerable.
©2014clarencecbess

Thus

He spoke the truth
And it struck my ears with joy.
A chance
Real chance
Water on thirst's horizon
I longed more than ever then
In that pure revelation
To drink him
Quench my aching need
Rejuvenate
Returning to my summer self during my current winter of discontent;
Disconnect.

I stared upon memories
Moving further into a past
I long to make current,
And smiled
Thinking 'one day'
Kisses won't be so far
And those emotions will remain present-tense
In those verses I sing
Think on
Dream on
When it comes to this mate
My soul has chosen...

And thus all would be well and warm
Instead of fleeting
As my exhales against this cold which only greets me now.
©2014clarencecbess

Nearly There

They all were so close
Nearly there
Perfection just an issue away
But I couldn't stay within the lines.

I have a habit of coloring beyond borders;
Taking my strokes too seriously
I attempt to make it all so seamless
Photogenic
Until that smear
The blemish which begs redo
Ultimately knowing I will not be satisfied
And so
Crumple that canvas once so promising
It was just a copy anyway...
©2014clarencecbess

Possibly Definitely

On a line
Possibly definitely
I give in
To this vision of things
I think could lift me
Bring
Chocolates and roses
To the place in my dreams
Where admiring melds into loving
Heavy petting
Possibly definitely a little seat wetting;
But back to my waiting.

On a line
Possibly definitely
Coming up with excuses
For my daydreamings
Wanderings
And too many hidden paths enticing
Providing
That release I find lacking in my
Possibly definitely
I envision
Every time the skies are grey
And I am shuttered underneath
My prerequisite blacks
Longing for my pastel spring
Clashing summers
And just plain exploring;
But back to my standing.

On a line
As crowds are rotating
Eyes avoiding this tasteless scene
A man alone
Unmoving
Despite their quiet pleading
For skedaddle
Returning
To the end of the line
Assuming
Possibly definitely it is the only place I've known
Broken of desire
To let loose the tit of survival
Now withered and raw
It only gives more dust
To settle upon my collections of
Possibly...

Definitely.
©2014clarencecbess

Courtney

You kissed me lavender divine.

Stood against the russet brick aglow
From the only warmth the sun would provide
And chuckled in a way I was too naive to know
I was the subject of conversation.

But now I know.

You kissed me lavender divine.

Wanted me out of mystery I assume.
Or was it a challenge?
Spun me with your eyes
Knew me all too well;
Yes, you knew us all too well.

I know this now too.

You kissed me lavender divine.

I walked home that day elated
With every other step
Afraid with every other;
One fell swoop I knew I was not a man
Just a boy with nothing
Your gift a precious thing of memory
Before even the scent could dissipate.

You kissed me lavender divine.

One day which stretched on for years
Gave rise to my insatiable passions
Till there was no boy, but man
Standing and smiling
That his very core could not exist without your history;
Without those precious gifts you bestowed
For whatever reason...
Curiosity?

As I now know, well,
That's just for me.
©2014clarencecbess

Synchronus Muddle

Hues blur past me as the cityscape melds into one seemingly ever-moving streak.
How many times have I wanted to yell
'STOP!'
Hoping somehow that this world would
That this blur would
Just so I could have my personal eternity of clarity.

But we move.
I move.
Crawl, climb, stumble, walk, stumble, run, stumble, fall,
Stumble, creep... die.

In between? Dance.

Most times I think alone,
But as it turns out, far more with others;
Such is joy
Always upon my heels
Where I've moved to
Danced to love too
And four and five
And more times I forget now than I could have ever hoped to remember.

That's what that streak sings to me
Until I come to a stop and there is just silence
And the gathering of more stories
To crowd my passage.
©2014clarencecbess

Shuffle

Shifts methodic,
I stare into tomorrow's poker face
Waiting for my wilds,
My virtually anythings
To fill these gaps
About this hand dealt to me.

My cohorts jovial displays
Seek to remind
I'm always dealing
With the bottom of a deck
I'd swear was stacked with each new hand
Each evolving challenge
Every sinister display
As everyday evolves into faces
Numbers
And sweets too rich
I am stricken with a severe case
Of the runaways
From this and that
And the constant moves
To trip me
Force me
Con me
Into revealing every single miniscule thing
I could possibly be
Come into this age of endless chance...
©2014clarencecbess

Shower Scene

Tonight I scrubbed you away.
Took the pumice to my soul
Deeper the back and forth until it became caked
With the flakes of your promises
Once healthy and new
Now just a residue I watch a steady stream
Pound and flush away.

Tonight I watched you go.
Quietly you fled just as you'd entered my life
Settled upon me
Stained me
Made me stink of you
Till I was unrecognizable
And all there was left of me
Was a somber core
Wrought with failing and crime.

Tonight
I felt you flee.
You knew there was no more
Us;
That I could no longer support your fantasy
And you could neither fulfill my persistent needs
Too false and burdened of hope over action.

We parted
And devoid of you
I was left to know
Whom I truly was and capable of being...

Thank you.
©2014clarencecbess