To One Mr. George Bess

I miss Swanee River Peach Soda
Miss my Grandfather forgetting our names
Asking patiently
Like I now know
He never did with his own children
'What flava ya want?'
My smile eternal
Beaming in response
To this rare situation
Bestowed upon me
My most cherished desire
How I'd wished mine own parents were the same...

How I miss the moment eternal
Sitting there in church
Drubbing on
Through song after song
Prayer after prayer
Relative upon relative
All of us sitting there going
'God-damn what I wouldn't give
for a piano or my normal minister'
Dreaming of
Cokes
Kool-Aid
Ribs
Chicken
Chittlins'
Fuckin' yellow flies buzzin about
Good people
Good tunes
Great times
Priceless memories
We never truly thought important
Because
It
Was
Us

Too many grand-children
Nieces
Nephews
Cousins
Uncles
Aunts
Sis-taz
Bru-thaz
Biting like the yellow flies
Leaving welts of agitation
And love
Abound
Because that
Was us

I miss my Grand-father
The rock of it all
Center
Universe
George
In his masculinity
Denied by
In my own mind
My father
Miss
That three-hour build-up
As my mother put her foot to the pedal
Pushing the little red Chevette
Longing for escape
Return
To the roots
Her children needed
In order for them to be
Men
Women
Of respect
Distinction
Because
It
Was
Her
And she needed
Wanted
Prayed
That it
Would be
Us

Beyond her
Beyond
Him
Them
And the memories
Unfit
Until Adulthood
In private moments
As we tried to figure out
Just what it was
We were supposed to be

How I miss my Grand-father
Who I so long to be like now
In this moment too late
As I come to realize
The beauty
The joy
That God saw so fit
For me to have
Through Clarence and Vivian
George and Doc
And the fact
That my own bitterness
Came
Upon missing
That beat-up car
Which fifteen siblings saved
Sacrificed for
Came
Upon intoxicated memory
Cotton-mouth
And tasting that
Cheap
Peach-infused green tea
Came upon
Names and memories
Verses and psalms
And the fact
That I wanted to hold them all
Now
Close
Within my arms
Shower them with my tears
Of sanctified sorrow
And the peace that comes
When one is drained
Of excuses and reasons

How I miss
Swanee River
Peach
Soda...
©2009clarencecbess