Tears

It is said that a picture is worth a thousand words. True, but pictures go beyond words for me. I found myself looking at some photos when a strange eerie feeling came over me. I could feel the emotion of those eyes. I understood the tears, the longing... well a usual I had to put my thoughts down...

“Tears”

I understand the sadness you
Your fears
All that becomes when world is blue
And tears
Are friends that comfort you
Alone in corners
Under covers in the silence of night
Away
From watchful eyes that ask
Why must he be this way?
I contemplate my fate as you
The sad remains
Of tears that prayed
Lost and forgotten within rooms
Locked away with troubles deep
To sleep
Under dreams which bloomed
Escape beyond a world of ruins
Fantasies pursued
Away
From watchful eyes whom want to slay
My soul
Because I am this way
I understand the sadness you
Those things that got away
Escaped
Leaving only tears to play
Befriend
Defend
Into today
My thread it bends
On shears of fate
As tears
They call to run away
Return to home
To yesterday
And there remain till end of days
Because I am this way
©2009clarencecbess

Wrong

If I were a subway panhandler, this would be my spiel.

"Wrong"

Spare a little dime
Mr. for a rhyme
It wouldn't be wrong
For a little song
Most times I'm alright
But I gotta fight
To keep my head strong
And would it be wrong
To say I have to lie
To get myself by
Even when I try
To prove I belong
It's better in a song
Than waiting too long
With the world passing by
Thinking me wrong
Killing me slow
Thinking I don't know
Why things are so
Spare a little dime
Mr. for a rhyme
It wouldn't be wrong...
©2009clarencecbess

You Said What?!

Too much freedom is a dangerous thing. There is a time and a place for everything. I and mine have earned the right. Now shut the fuck up and listen to the words...

“You Said What?”

I feel the tingle
The alien in me
That quickening of heart
As I hold my tongue
Remembering my mother’s words
‘If you have nothing nice to say..’
Feel that tingle
So ingrained
On history’s whispers
Songs of the fields
I don’t even think twice
Rather sit and write
Following the rhythmic pound
Within my chest
Clenching my pen
Paring out my frustration
Bleeding words
To keep me sane
Lesson’s learned
I’ll make my stand
Feeling the tingle
Each time I say these words
This phrase
And I am here in this moment
Relived
Where expression
The presentation of truth
Lay wounded but strong
In the battle of creativity
Wounded but stronger
In the battle of me…
©2008clarencecbess

77

I wrote this one last year when Obama won the Democratic party's nomination to run for president... I'm surprised because I totally forgot about it and never put it down digitally. Good moments deserve to be shared right?

"77"

Seventy-seven nightmares
even in the midst of joy
Seventy-seven reasons
For children to dream
Beyond hoops rusted
Bleeding away as many hopes
As fallen two-point shots
Beyond chain linked fences
Surrounding forgotten parks
Cracked in neglect
Stained from the seventy-seven shots
It took to drop a man unarmed.

Seventy-seven days
Seems too long a time
Even after hundreds of years
Of waiting in this line
To see a movie of history
Unrecorded
Forgotten selectively
Pushed and tucked away
With every revelation
Even by those who'd take up the cause
For seventy-seven moments
That hopefully begin to erase
Seventy-seven souls
Sleeping beneath waves
Seventy-seven leagues deep
Times seventy-seven
Times seventy-seven
Times the eternity of struggle...
©2008clarencecbess

Empty Chairs

I was at an event yesterday with my focus rambling between the memory of two fallen artist. There on the table in front of the audience sat a vase of roses and just beyond that an empty chair. I found myself staring at this off and on. Sometimes with joy, and at other times with sorrow. I was happy that the usual occupant of that seat was now at peace, but quite saddened not to see him there. As news spread of the death of Michael Jackson, my thoughts consistently returned to the image of that chair. I wondered how it would feel the first time the Jackson family clan gathered for a family function knowing they would never physically see their relative again... An empty chair, yet full somehow... Enjoy!

"Empty Chairs"

It occurred to me the other day
The significance of empty chairs
Sitting still
Motionless
Quiet
Amongst the noise that usually surrounds them;
It occurred to me
As I remembered influence
Inspiration
How souls
Though gone
Continue on
Through the dream and actions
Of those bestowed upon the gift
Of both having
And not having known them.

(Now that's powerful.)

I think to myself
What will my empty chair signify
In conclusion and tears?
What will four legs
A back
And maybe two arm rest
Echo
Down
The whispers of history
Beyond b.
d.
And what lay in between
Along my little dash
That representation of my time spent here...

Empty chairs.
Not so empty as it turns out.
I wonder
If I sit in them
Is it possible to feel
(Will they feel?)
The spiritual mark left behind?
©2009clarencecbess

Bad Man

I think I'm a good person at heart, but sometimes, the human in me comes out.

"Bad Man"

I'm just a bad man
Barely a plan
Marching through his bad land
Lost within dark fantasies
Robbing Peter to pay myself
Waiting for the gun of fate
To cock blowing me away

A bad man
Waiting for escape
From the fires that I set
Methodically
Each time I decide
To play God in my private little world
My bad lands
With their black soil
Acidic winds
Masked by the beauty
Consuming
That I find in manipulation
Control

But what goes
Comes
I know this
The bad man's mantra
For even a bad man
Believes in balance;
Just a bad man
With too many bad plans
Sorry for his existence
Yet thankful all the same...

Damn me and my conscience.
©2009clarencecbess

Headache

This is the thing
That causes the head to pound
Looking for definition
In a world of partial
Hidden subjects
Whispered secretly
Against night backdrops
Among secret lovers

This is the thing
That makes my head pound
Inclusion
As it rapidly diminishes
In the mocha wave
Extra cream
No sugar added
At four dollars a pop
With ninety percent
Ending up on foreign soul
Soiled
Because you could care less

This is the thing
That makes me drink
Think
Beneath florescent lights
On park benches
In the moments I am all alone
Captivated
By the self destruction
I bequeath upon my soul
Soiled
Looking for an anti-inflammatory
For the things
That cause the head to pound
Relentless
Obsessive
In the struggle for freedom
Understanding...
©2009clarencecbess

Inside

Sometimes I am just a nasty mutha! Thank goodness my friends accept me anyways..LOL!

“ Inside “

Won’t you taste
And touch
And kiss
Take me in
Your privacy
Inside
Your honesty
Honestly
I’d lick you
Flick you
Stick you
Deep
Inside your secrecy
Feel you drip
Feel you flow
Just to know
You love
You need

Won’t you taste
And touch
And kiss
Take me in
Your privacy
Inside
Your honesty
Honestly
The taste of your tongue
Makes me moan in my dreams
Liquid and free
Thinking of you
You thinking of me
Inside
Passions
Past pain
Bathing in your rain
Pallid and blinding
How sweet to drown in your flow
To know
I love
I need

Want your taste
Your touch
Your kiss
On my privacy
Inside
The honesty
Becoming of us
Honestly
I just can’t get enough
Of you
Inside…
©2009clarencecbess

Up

Up again
With the multitude of thoughts
Strewn about
Just like the clothes that litter my floor
Soiled and haphazard
Longing to be united
In the hopes of laundered sanity
Tidy and pure
Made fresh from the process of rationalization

Up again
Gazing at screens
Their glow
The massacre of my eyes
Catalyst to my aches and midnight pleasures
As I search the shrinking universe
For like-minded wraiths
Slick and sheen
To ease across the need throbbing
Between my flesh and spirit

Up again
Rummaging through words
Looking for snapshots of the moment
Selecting the ones that tease to expose
My vulnerability
Standardization
Of emotions I make difficult to sound
Upon my tongue
Unless scribbled or typed

Up again
With my aching heads
And a bed that demands
Pillows that cry
Engagement
With the promise of dreams
Flying with haste
Because that is when the good things come
When I am down
Loose
Unbound
And all is
Up…
©2009clarencecbess

Light

A little fluff for you. (Hey, even I enjoy some bubble-gum every once-in-awhile...LOL!)

“Light”

Luminosity out from inside
Blinds me to paradise
Each time you dance
Each time you breathe
Existence with me

Guiding my way
Beyond black to the white
Infinite always
I can’t deny
Out from inside
You’re doin’ it right
Shine on forever
Your powerful light

Took me by surprise
Shined in my eyes
The colors you possess
Each time you touch
Each time you love
Rhythm so tight
Out from inside
You’re doin’ it right
Taking your time
Giving your light

Luminosity brightens the night
Layering
Attempting to engulf
My smiles once bright;
Infinite always
As I stare out from inside
Knowin’ this is so right
Each time I breathe
With you in my sight
Myself letting go
Diving into your light…
©2009clarencecbess

Reminders

Being here in Florida, seeing family and friends and the haunts of my youth... with things the way they were, are, and shall, or could be... I am reminded. Everywhere...

“Reminders”

Everywhere
Reminders
In the sand between the patches of grass
Half dead and tanned
From the sun that seems to beat down
A little heavier than it did in my youth;

Everywhere
Reminders
As I smell my clothes
The night before
And the taint of their cigarettes
Music
Not to mention that sticky substance
That kept the cue ball from rolling right;

Everywhere
Reminders
As characters make words
Make stanzas
Make free my mind
Attempting to deal
In the best way it knows how
With the memories made
Processing
And the ones that were never meant to be…
Again fate;

Reminders
Everywhere
Like the dust you thought you got
Could’ve sworn was wiped away just a second ago
Only to return with a reality that it never left…
Like dust
Tiny particles tickling the inner workings of my nose
Bringing me to expel my soul
One sneeze
Blade
Thread
Utterance at a time…
©2009clarencecbess

Siegelman's Psalm

I only knew him briefly, but in that time I was greatly moved. Thank you Ken so much for allowing mine and others talents to be felt and heard. Your spirit and work live on... R.I.P

“Seigelman’s Psalm”

I am glad to have known
Heard
Felt with my heart
The enchantment
The deep growl of intensity
With each word spoken
Lived
In your psalm of complexity
As you danced with the devil
Made love to the breeze
All the while scribing
Intense
The weight of your history…
©2009clarencecbess

Ten O’ Clock On A Sunday Night

Ten o’ clock on a Sunday night
Too cool to have my window open
Too hot to have my window closed
Caught somewhere between
Slightly uncomfortable
And just plain miserable
As my thoughts drift away
To eyes and lips
Touch and taste
The way my heart responds
With multiple attacks
Each time that smile
Breaks the horizon of his soul.

Ten o’ clock on a Sunday night
Miles from home
Looking at strangers
Silent
Just as ready to get there as I am
Avoiding the eyes
Because that begets specific interest
Which I have none at the moment
Trust me
I get enough ‘look at me’ at work;
Fifteen past
The universal agitation
Of just missing the last train
We pace back and forth
Smells of urine
And the MTA’s lame attempt to cover it
Egging us on to insanity
The only escape
To let my thoughts drift again
Echo loudly
Like the opposite flow of traffic
That comes far more often
Because I don’t need to go there
Just here
To the moment again
After arms and soul held me
Sang me a lullaby of sweet longing
Leaving me at twenty-five past forever…
©2009clarencecbess

Silent Scream

To Eric H... exploration is the way to the soul.

"Silent Scream"

It was only dreams that stood between
It was beyond myself I came to be
Silence covering the scream
That inner power to accomplish things
And yet I'm still sitting here
Looking for explanation beyond what I see
Beyond what the world means to me

It was only fear that kept me right
As I grew into this thing
Letting go my silent scream
Beneath a carbon night
At the base of a canyon deep
Encrusted with the history of my fate
Looking for justification of a misery
But it was only
Only a...

It is only love that stays my hand
Strengthens the tightrope
Between now and the promised land
What could be wanted there between
Infinite sky
Littered
With clouds of wreckage
The gust of forbidden scenes
And the hollow cries of shattered dreams
But chance is only
only a...
©2009clarencecbess

Wishing Well

I got a little tune stuck in my head on the way home. Maybe it was the sesame st. episode... I don't know. But I sat down and tried to get this out of my head. Part of me wants to consider this piece unfinished, but the other half knows better... You be the judge. Enjoy!


“Wishing Well”

So far as I can tell
It’s not a wishing well
The way things came to be
Between you and me

Remembering the day
When on your lap my head did lay
And surely with your touch
I did think away
Into future years to come
How I wanted to bathe in you my sun

But your light it shone from hell
I must love getting burned
As far as I can tell
There was no water in the well
Wishes never shined when they fell
Into the darkness we

So far as I can tell
It’s not a wishing well
The way we came to be
Lost within the shade completely…
©2009clarencecbess

Pastel

Sometimes I feel like pastel
Think in tangerine
Sometimes in the midst of my rainbow
I realize the colors aren't what they seem

Too often in my private I'm public
Too often I don't save the pennies shelled to me
And sometimes in the morning's dew I can tell
That the day is gonna turn out pastel

Maybe in the light it's truly in the dark
Could it be at the end of the race
Is where the running starts?
Dreams are further than fantasy
So far as I can tell
That lining along the cloud, well
It's not so much as silver as it is pastel

Sometimes I go the way of blue
Even though it's crimson in my heart
Too often I am silent when I should
Open up to play the part;
Maybe in the midst of my rainbow dream
The colors change for they can tell
My need to breathe pastel...
©2009clarencecbess

?

It was wet and cool...and I was waiting. Waiting for what though?

" ? "

Dampness intertwines
With the mulch I breathe today
Come muted sounds
With the trees so still it makes
Harmony bound
High as the squirrels that run away
Without things they forgot to bring to play

Too late the shade
Even though the light's still high
In the afternoon that fades away
Too late to stay
With the souls that came to play
In moist emerald dreams
That sing so right
Of the most forbidden things
That fill my mind

Eyes they look to me
Brown as the bark that rise
Beneath this emerald sea
And the jade that begs to rise
With the leaves so still
So shy
It's too late to say
That the moment feels so right

Dampness on the breeze
As the darkness knocks upon the sky
And forest melodies enter my mind
At one with the still beneath my needs
At one with the real in this fantasy...
©2009clarencecbess

Butterflies

Butterflies in my senses
In my subconsciousness
Don't fly
Denied through my own wishes
They cry

Butterflies losing their colors
Can't find their way
Out of my dreams
Losing themselves within shades
Of unrecognizability
And things
Denied through mine own wishes
I scream

Butterflies lost their wings
Returned to the cocoon and things
Misplaced
Within the scheme of survival
And cried

Let go senses
Let go dreams
Let go troubles
Must find my broken wings
So butterflies
Can scream...
©2009clarencecbess

A Seat Shared By Two

It's always amazing to recognize love. Whether it's within ourselves or others...

"A Seat Shared By Two"

Doe-eyed
Silent innocence
He rest his head upon her shoulder;
Elegant smiles
Whispered thoughts
She closes her eyes to wonder;
A timeless picture
Only the color
Of cloth
Of skin
The cut and pattern
Wherein difference and change
Blossom
Bright as the color she wears
As the obvious fact
That they are in love...
©2009clarencecbess

That I

Sterile
I'm afraid to touch
Symmetrical
Isn't worth half as much
Misery
Living in the light
That she breathes
That he needs
That I

Anger
Here's my chance to breathe
Peace
On Earth I'd hope to live to see
Misery
No longer on my streets
Behind her smiles
Inherited
By the avenue and corner's child
That we teach
That I

Sing
With tainted air I breathe
Songs
Aren't as worth half as much
Misery
Dripping from their scales
That dangle in the light
By which he reads
By which she sees me write
That I

I'm a little pressed for time
Because someone got it in my mind
As before
To have me wanting more
Despite what I need
Made so sterile
I'm afraid to touch
Beyond my dreams
Behind wishes
That I
Write
Away
Upon
Within this light
Throughout this fight
That I...
©2009clarencecbess

Thus Far - The Haikus

Over the past year since the publication of my 1st book "Actuality Askew", I have gone over ideas for a new book. Several days ago, it occurred to me that one of my favorite parts to the book were the Haikus. Without giving too much away, here is the ensuing result...

"January"

Resolutions come.
Despite the chill I am warm.
New year with old dreams.

&

Blog the words I breathe.
Creativity a must.
Where will I go now?

"February"

Bitter frustration.
Seeping through my work and play.
Time for a reset.

&

Thank God for my friend.
Florida reset worked great.
Now handle business.

"March"

Let it go; madness.
The steady course is hardest.
Bird's song makes me smile.

&

The cold tries to stay.
Between clouds I see the blue.
Patience is a must.


"April"

Transferred to heaven.
Even in the hell I breathe.
God listened to me.

&

Ball's in your court.
Stand up and make up your mind.
Showers bring flowers.


"May"

I did it again.
Fool to depend on others.
Hard head, sore behind.

&

He came from nowhere.
Red sunrise on my blue sea.
Totally smitten.

"June"

So let the rain fall.
Today from sky and fate too.
Green days will come soon.

&

Release. Reset. Go.
Honor. Remember. Excel.
Beauty in passing.


"July"

Independence lost.
Searching for solutions now.
Blow out my candles.

&

Renewal again.
Injustice and clarity.
The circles of life.

All Works©2009clarencecbess