Looking For Inspiration

My time is running out, and there are too many decisions to be made...

"Looking For Inspiration"

Looking for inspiration
I see faces
Try to close my eyes
To avoid theirs
So I may listen to the world
Moving along always
At a quicker pace than I can run.

Looking for inspiration
I ask my heart for it's pleasures
And the fear it conceals from my soul
Who seeks to join the quest
For the spark
To ignite the moment
Where sight and sound
Reality and dream
Combine
And my pen is awakened
To spill forth contents
Of frozen understanding.

Looking for inspiration
I worry that I pass
Over the very desire
An opportunity unknown
But no less powerful
In the realm of possibility;
Worry
In my pursuit of the world
Eventually decisions will have to be made
Stood upon
As to what force will compel me
For now there is teetering balance
As I look for inspiration
But fear truly finding it...
©2009clarencecbess

A Minute To Finish

This piece about a student is dedicated to educators everywhere.... Also a BIG thanks to AC for inspiring it.

"A Minute To Finish"

I'm giving her a minute to finish
Because society
In it's dysfunctional delusion
Has allowed her
Her parents
And too many others
The lie of time
With dwindling responsibility.

She bounds up and down
With her mouth
Skips and prances
And it sickens me
This regurgitation of example
Clearly learned in other places
Placated by a cute smile
And the fact that someone
Wants her to believe she's a princess
(Goddamn Disney)...

I'm giving her a minute to finish
Before mentally reaching out
To strangle her
As 'Mr. Bess!' is repeated for the 500th time
Because despite the fact
That I'm helping someone who
Wants
To learn
She feels to the point of annoyance
That by doing so
As with home
Someone will give in
Bow to her demands
Voiced with a shrill nuisance
That makes me shiver.

I'm giving her a minute
Because I don't want to yell
Naively still thinking
That maybe she'll understand my silence
Hear it as the rattle in the weeds
Steering clear of the bite
That longs to deliver
A potent dose of reality
That I know wouldn't kill
But sting just enough
To silence her momentarily.

But for now
I'm enjoying her mental strangulation
And besides
I am giving her a minute to finish...
©2009clarencecbess

Bags

Good morning.
Sun in her eyes
She squints
One stop at a time
Too much reality
In the receipt she studies
Of the dwindling paycheck
Survival;
One too many bags
Four in fact
Under eyes
Under arms
Resting next to her
Filled with the collections
That persist
In the human condition.

Bags
On the backs of children
Lugging expectations
Histories
Central to that American pursuit
Testing
Hoping not to be left behind
In the lottery line of funding
As education flies away
To privately nest in better trees
Next to better springs
Which freely flow
With the assumption of safety
In sparsity
And clear night skies
Where stars hang bare
Revealing their beauty.

Bags
Between my legs
So my back can rest
Falling apart
Just like hers
Like theirs
Overstuffed
With the dangerous appetites
Of self and secrecy...
©2009clarencecbess

But There Is Love

He of crossed fingers
Deliberately fidgeting about
She of focus upon a single page
They of variously bowed heads
Remind me of an argument
I once witnessed
Between aunt and uncle
Young and frustrated;
This is the result
Of never talking about it
Of waiting too long
After the shades of puberty
Of culture
Descend
But one wants
Needs
Feels
They must have it
Because the alternative
Is me
Staring
Longing
Wishing
Needing
Wanting
With
Selfish loathing
Anger
Frustration
Because the thin line
Between loneliness and alone
Grows thinner
Transparent
With each broken heart.

He of attempt
She of denial
A delicate dance
As he takes her hand
Limp with disapproval;
He with the beard
Momentarily split
As he vocalizes
She with the twitch
And hand removed
As fingers to her mouth
Denote held back tears
From eyes that scan
Or so I think
The single page
Maybe single word
As she thinks of response
To her public private lashing...
But there is love
As there is smile upon my face
Because if I can't have it
At least I can recognize it
And that gives me hope
For myself
Though easier witnessed
Than done.

He of continuation
She of the exodus
As handles to his paper bags break
And her plastic holds strong;
He of balance
As contents are split
Evened
To make easier of weight
For the inevitably long stroll
They will have together home
No doubt hand-in-hand
Mentally
If not physically
Because though I can make poetry
Of a shared twenty-five minutes
It takes longer to make resolution...
But there is love between them
Now
As there was before
With them
And I'm jealous as hell...
©2009clarencecbess

24 Fantastic

Just another day in the hood...

"24 Fantastic"

Somewhere
Beyond windows passed
Someone is sleeping
As attentions are sought
In the steady rotation
Of red and blue
With the usual bloated suits
Attending to the lone stranger
Facing away
Contemplating the moment come...
It's bound to happen right?

Children fixate
Pulled away only
By the MSG
Of chicken wings and fried rice
Dealt every-other corner
To bomb every-other bowl
Because mama has to work
Extra-late
On the second job
For that pair of blue religions
They swear were true
But not for a home-cooked meal
She wouldn't even know
Were it placed directly under her nose...

A man walks swiftly by this scene
He couldn't be bothered
Like water off a duck's back
He lets it fall away
Focusing on point B
The smirk on his face telling me
Aint nothin' changed but the date
Here
There
Everywhere he turns
Another set of Blue and reds to greet him
Remind him
Of the products
Of the 24 fantastic
Coming and going
Dressed in a lack of urgency
With a pocket full of truth
Because escape
Hasn't really been possible
Since the Mason-Dixon line really mattered...
©2009clarencecbess

Buckle

Hea
Ven
Help
Me
As
I
Bu
Ckle
Slow
Ly
Fal
Ling
Out
Of
My
Mind
Drip
Drip
Time
Slips
Pres
Sure's
Moun
Ting
I
Am
Coun
Ting
Mass
De
Struc
Tion
On
My
Time
Piece
Peace's
An
Il
Lu
Sion
Clocked
On
The
Time
Card
Taxed
No
De
Duc
Tion
Off
Of
The
Con
Scious
Me
Lo
Dy
Scrump
Tious
Drip
Drip
I
Slip
Trip
On
The
Ab
Duc
Tion
Of
My
Pri
Ma
Ry
Func
Tion
Trapped
In
The
Stran
Gle
Hold
I'm
Un
A
Ble
To
Re
Turn
To
The
Ta
Ble
Feast
U
Pon
A
Bi
Li
Ty
Bu
Ckled
Try
Ing
To
For
Get
Me...
©2009clarencecbess

Denied

Denied
Sweetest history
As soon as you took
Your heart away from me
Crimson sapphire burns
Now in this cavity
Denied

Denied
Purest ecstasy
Of touch gentle
As a newborn breeze
Across
My skin so quietly
Denied

Denied
Here in misery
Without you loving me
Lavender soul
Lost in the search
Of completing
Denied

Denied
Left with only dreams
Shadows
Golden memories
My mind makes
To comfort me
Always
Denied

Denied
Who will sing for me?
Stare across
In silence understanding me?
My truths
My fantasies
Denied

Denied
Stolen away from me
On fear
Of you loving me
I'll go
With possibility
You weren't meant to be
Denied
©2009clarencecbess

Comfortable Strangers

We know each other, but will we ever truly KNOW each other...

For dad.

"Comfortable Strangers"

Comfortable strangers
Uncomfortable dreams
Revelations of truth
Through any and every thing;
At the back of a heart
Desire still lies
Holding on
But fading to zero
Beneath rotating skies;
Underneath these words
A comfortable stranger
Lost in crowds
Of attempt and failure
As uncomfortable eyes
Haunt in dreams
Of cloudy skies
Bringing about a winter of things
Lost within uncomfortable wonder
Whether they'll taste the light
At some point together
Beyond flesh's plight.

Comfortable strangers
Mysteries unsolved
While staring at mirrors
And the multiple images made
In the cracks of resolve
Maybe forgotten
Maybe just dreams
As comfortable strangers
Reside in their excuses for things
Almost never spoken
With a silence that pierces
Louder than screams
Echoing within
The chambers of uncomfortable souls
Attempting to justify
Consequences
Of releasing to hold...
©2009clarencecbess

Veins

Veins
Too old the blood?
She holds innocent pink
Crying in this late hour
Too young
To feel the late drudge
Reality
Underneath lights
Too
Bright
Too
Revealing
Of the inescapable path
Born of conception
Mitosis
And development
Of yet another soul
Cast upon the world;
Veins
She cries in communication
Too
Late the hour
Too many eyes upon her
Mine
Analyzing
Formulating
A future
Present
Past
Through words
And veins
Dripping
Flowing
Splitting
Crimson desire
Verses florescent certainty
Here
Then
Now
Tomorrow
As I attempt to educate
Those
Knowing more
In this moment
Than I did or will...

I can't let her get away
Too
Fast
Before she is veins
Too
Old
Too
Spoiled
Too
Struggle
Too much of everything
Lost and forgotten
As the child born
But never existing...
©2009clarencecbess

October

Silence was broken.
Truth lay in shards around me.
Everywhere there's noise.

&

Heaven's trick or treat?
Contemplate the sweets I want.
Pray for no razors.

©2009clarencecbess