The Haikus Con't...

"August"

Laying down too much.
The common factor is me.
Asleep at the wheel.

&

Saved again through grace.
First chills arrive on breezes.
When will my leaves change?


"September"

Ducking for cover.
It's raining but the sun's out.
Perspective's a bitch.

&

Trying to awake.
My dawn has yet to arrive.
But I see sunlight.
Allworksherein©2009clarencecbess

Sketch

I'm a little worried. I haven't been able to complete a poem in my journal since going to IL. Well, that is until now...

"Sketch"

He sketched
I stared
The both of us
Meticulously analyzing
Depicting
The world around us
Our connection
Them
Those beyond our eyes
Ingrained into our imaginations
As he stroked with graphite
I with ink
To make portrait the moment
To make eternal
Unspoken words
And images that call
Wanting and needing to be born;
He sketched
I listened
The both of us inscribing
Meticulously realizing
There
Where the world
Comes together
At $2.25 an illusion...
©2009clarencecbess

Corner Sermon

Gonna tell me
Here
At this moment
That the dream is achieved?
If so
Lets talk awake.
Lets talk promises and acres
The green kind
Not the ones that rise
Blocking the sun
It's precious vitamin D
Building blocks for the strength
That helped build this nation
Upon misshapen backs
And the mutilated souls
Of those who tried to chase the dream;

Gonna tell me
Claim me
Lazy?
That I don't take enough advantage
Of the opportunities abound
When my kings and queens
Are ruthlessly pursued
Butchered down
Just to remind them
Where they live
Who runs this thing
Why should I want to achieve?
Why should I want to leave
A system
That rewards me for remaining in it
Yet penalizes those who even
Attempt
To rise above it?
Go ahead
Tell me
I shouldn't think that way...

I had a dream
Pretty sure
The same dream
But when I woke
The nightmare called reality
Slapped me back down
Said
'Get in yo' place nigger'
Behind smiles and institutions
Too many to name

I had a dream
Probably the same
But when I woke
There was no unity
Just the reality
Of mental chains
Mocha verses coffee bean
Stone ghetto against plantation green
And the reality
Each time someone asks
'Are your parents white?'
Because I speak properly
Fluently
That even now
My skin tone equates to
Less-than
Other-than
Dick size

Go ahead and tell me
What to do
Tell me
To shut my mouth
Get off the pot
Join the race
Move myself into creation
When evolution
Consistently passes me by
Leaving me here
On the corner
With my tired words
Tired eyes
Afraid to sleep
Afraid to dream any more...
©2009clarencecbess

To One Mr. George Bess

I miss Swanee River Peach Soda
Miss my Grandfather forgetting our names
Asking patiently
Like I now know
He never did with his own children
'What flava ya want?'
My smile eternal
Beaming in response
To this rare situation
Bestowed upon me
My most cherished desire
How I'd wished mine own parents were the same...

How I miss the moment eternal
Sitting there in church
Drubbing on
Through song after song
Prayer after prayer
Relative upon relative
All of us sitting there going
'God-damn what I wouldn't give
for a piano or my normal minister'
Dreaming of
Cokes
Kool-Aid
Ribs
Chicken
Chittlins'
Fuckin' yellow flies buzzin about
Good people
Good tunes
Great times
Priceless memories
We never truly thought important
Because
It
Was
Us

Too many grand-children
Nieces
Nephews
Cousins
Uncles
Aunts
Sis-taz
Bru-thaz
Biting like the yellow flies
Leaving welts of agitation
And love
Abound
Because that
Was us

I miss my Grand-father
The rock of it all
Center
Universe
George
In his masculinity
Denied by
In my own mind
My father
Miss
That three-hour build-up
As my mother put her foot to the pedal
Pushing the little red Chevette
Longing for escape
Return
To the roots
Her children needed
In order for them to be
Men
Women
Of respect
Distinction
Because
It
Was
Her
And she needed
Wanted
Prayed
That it
Would be
Us

Beyond her
Beyond
Him
Them
And the memories
Unfit
Until Adulthood
In private moments
As we tried to figure out
Just what it was
We were supposed to be

How I miss my Grand-father
Who I so long to be like now
In this moment too late
As I come to realize
The beauty
The joy
That God saw so fit
For me to have
Through Clarence and Vivian
George and Doc
And the fact
That my own bitterness
Came
Upon missing
That beat-up car
Which fifteen siblings saved
Sacrificed for
Came
Upon intoxicated memory
Cotton-mouth
And tasting that
Cheap
Peach-infused green tea
Came upon
Names and memories
Verses and psalms
And the fact
That I wanted to hold them all
Now
Close
Within my arms
Shower them with my tears
Of sanctified sorrow
And the peace that comes
When one is drained
Of excuses and reasons

How I miss
Swanee River
Peach
Soda...
©2009clarencecbess

Drown Out Music

It's been awhile since I wrote one of my true "Subway Poems", so I was delighted when I got on the train this evening to come home and the rock, sway, moment, and those sharing in it caused creativity to erupt within me. Enjoy...

"Drown Out Music"

Drown out music
Slips between my head
Makes me disappear into my dread
Trying to pass the time
Look away
From souls that come
To beg today

Drown out music
Under lights of bright
Expose the misery
Filth of life
Beneath notes
I try to slip away
Too close to soon
As a soul that comes to beg today

And I'm thinking it funny how
With the world at my fingertips
That if it came down to now
Without help here would I sit?

And I'm thinking it funny how
I have the nerve to pinch my face
With myself two cents away
From forgotten and dismissed
In a world that moves along
With its drowned out tired song
Always a patch job never fixed
Again
Without help here would I sit?

Drown out music in my mix
Head down with my eyes focusing
Trying to fix upon
Somehow miss
Somehow fly
Deny
Just like everybody else here
Oh so vexed
We turn to look away
The merest chance we'll be the soul
That comes to beg here another day...
©2009clarencecbess

Ruin

It is always moving to face one's past...

"Ruin"

Like so much of our history
It lay in ruins
Forgotten
Reclaimed by the earth
Only it's ghost-like foundation remaining

Like so much of what we were
Are
It teased in shadows of duplicity
This Eden
Born of God
Destroyed by man
On pageantry by men
I'll shed my tears
For the souls who sought refuge here
Deep in these woods
On top of these stones
That echo the cry
Long gone from our lungs
Of freedom
And the high price
And it's high price
That God bestowed us to pay
One moss-covered ruin at a time
Only to be forgotten
Repeated
Like the questions these gate-keepers answer
Over and over again
As to why we let it go
Just as so with many other things
In the destruction of our soul...
©2009clarencecbess

Somewhere On The Highway

The wind wolves moved between the silos across the fields
An emerald dance
Allowing the land to speak
Sing its restful tune;

I turned and he smiled to himself
Looking out along the endless road
Content in his choice
Happy that I was happy
As the wind wolves raced across his soul
A delicate dance
Of stone and sea;

So I closed my eyes
Forgetting myself
And went with the breeze;
Lifted I soared on the wind wolves song
To the heart of me
Left within fields far gone
Of the bluest reprieves
And passionate psalms
Shifting with ease
Allowing me to rise
Till the world was no longer
And all I could be
Was wind to the land
Unchained and free...
©2009clarencecbess

Second Hand Melody

I haven't heard a clock tick in years.
Haven't watched that second-hand
Slowly tick away
The minutes of my life

But I've felt it
The setting and the rise
The winters and the springs
Summers
Gone far too soon
That fall would return again
All in the passing of time
As I run faster
Trying to cheat death of its inevitable victory

I haven't heard a clock tick
In many a year
Drowned out by the noise
Of my existence and fears...
©2009clarencecbess

Old Men

The old men talked
And as usual I listened
Retreating into silence
To observe their pass-offs
Exchanges
In the ballet of companionship;
These social kings
Entertaining
Educating
The pauper I
Of things to come
Deserved and not;
I go with their flow
Off to past paradises
Exchange
Untold stories
Etched upon their faces
And eyes that stare
Back at me
With the intent to know
As I finally speak
To make my mark
In the crevices of their speckled souls
As I finally speak
But to listen again
For the best stories told
Are the ones you strain to hear
Muffled behind closed doors...
©2009clarencecbess

Feast & Famine

She wore love like a perfume
Delicately dabbed about
Accentuating
Punctuating her curves
Hidden places
As she looked to he
Who presented his masculinity
A trophy polished one too many times
Dimming her reflection
In the abrasive scratches
Of his pomp and circumstance;
She wore desperation like a sweat
A slippery adhesive
That would no sooner break when bound
To kisses and passionate strokes
Of her hypocritical web
Which drew him in
One smile at a time
Leaving me to wonder
Who would devour who
In this precarious waltz
Of feast and famine...
©2009clarencecbess

Rainbows & Jelly Beans

Rainbows and jelly beans
Come and get your fantasies
Guaranteed to make you high
Just one taste you won't deny
As your inhibitions fade
Kiss the night and love the shade
Underneath your rainbow beams
Open mind to taste the dream

Rainbows and jelly beans
Pop a few begin to see
How the world it truly be
Guaranteed to make you cry
Just one taste you won't deny
Dance away obesity
Come to points off maps of need
Coexisting under rainbow beams
Open ears to taste the dream

Rainbows and jelly beans
If you're true you'll understand
Not 'bout outcomes only 'bout the plan
Pop another you'll be my friend
Just one taste you won't deny
Beneath rain and sun you'll get it right
Come to points off maps of greed
Drop a bean to plant the seed
Open eyes to know the mind
Technicolor world divine
Come and get your fantasies
Beneath the rainbow fallacy...
©2009clarencecbess

August Revelation

I don't want to hear the word love right now
No sad songs
With their moaning and revelations
Don't want to see roses
My favorite of flowers
Their petals bright and crisp
Waiting to wilt and die
Just like
I don't want to see yet another couple
Holding hands
Stealing kisses
On trains
In parks
Next to rivers and oceans
Their eyes locked upon each other
As they cancel out the world about them
Waiting for sunsets
Birds melodies
And bedrooms
Interpretations of the passion that grows

I don't want to hear
I don't want to see
Be reminded beyond my walls
Of the inadequacy that exist
On my empty finger
Solitary bench
In my desperate bedrooms
Of digital bliss
I'd rather know
Be the lips that receive the kiss
Wind that carries the song
Straight to the ear
Sweet nothings to make the memory long
And the moments right
With moonlight accentuating waves
Petals that never fade
Against music cheery and bright

I don't want to hear the word love right now
Nor tomorrow
Or the day after
I've heard it all before
One too many times before...
©2009clarencecbess

After Dreams

It never ceases to amaze me that I can be inspired by the oddest things. I wonder do people ever realize what they are doing when they create something truly beautiful... Big thanks to JC's SM...

"After Dreams"

Supple breeze caressing me
Golden dawn speaks release
After dreams in which I scream
To know the truth

Pressing thoughts bond me down
To the pains of life abound
After dreams will I be
A stolen song of bitter peace?

Close my eyes to inhale the joy
Of the chance at chasing things
Which remain after dreams
And truths abound that pardon me

After dreams will I be
Stolen songs of bitter peace?
After truths that bring me joy
Will I want
Will I see
Will I know
Will I be
Release?
©2009clarencecbess

Black Lotus Mantra

Escaping into one's mind can be a dangerous thing...

"Black Lotus Mantra"

I never knew that I'd get to the end
Never understood how to make a friend
That I would run into life in the dark
That I'd be trapped within the cells of my heart.

Wish my anger could hit on the mark
Want my mental state to shut down and part
Ruined in small rooms with no space to breathe
Still trying to inhale just so I can scream.

Forever I will feel that I'm incomplete
Despite my attempts at conformity
Why do they think that I'm so adjusted?
If only they knew what's inside my head.

Frustration the symbiotic being that feeds
With open and closed eyes as I tackle my dreams
Borrowing existence unable to repay
Must find a means to an end soon one day.

I'd like to define my way out of pain
I'd like to open my mouth in the rain
Ingest the tears as they fall from the sky
Than to be left alone with these words in the night
Bereft of the strength that becomes of the tried
Empty again with no will to fight.

I asked for escape when I was a child
Just to become a man still trapped all the while
Coming to terms with his disease of sorrow
Feeling his freedom will always come tomorrow.

I never knew I'd be left in the night
With words and phantoms devoid of a light
I thought existed with the blessings that come
From first breath to last beneath these stars overhung...
©2009clarencecbess

Possible Tombstone Etching #1

I need to get a little crazy
Say hell to it all
Release
Run naked through the streets
With my nature to the wind
Escape to peace
Get a little crazy
Get rid of everything
Everyone
Make the circle of nothing complete
And when I'm done
And they're spreading me about
Maybe they'll say
He went a little crazy
But was never happier
Yes that was him
Without a doubt...
©2009clarencecbess

Lucanae

Pronounced Lu-Ka-NI, I'll give you a clue as to it's meaning. Here it is: Data

"Lucanae"

Let go of me
Separate this insanity
Beyond my reach
And these fingertips which seek
To tear away my dreams
The fantasies
I place in front of me
In my complacency
Let go of me

Let go of me
Forget the face you see
Under things
At the edges of the spring
You want a soul to be
At words that will place you on
Pages of a misery
Bound and sold by complacency
Let go of me

Let go of me
For at the end of the day
I am empty
Nothing for the wind to blow
Nothing for the mind to know
Beyond your fingertips
And sheets that make the music
Full of misery
And the love that comes between
My lack of urgency
Let go of me

Let go of me
Before we steak the hearts
See
And there is nothing left
Except the ink
Sheets beyond my fingertips
Stained with misery
Wrought with little hope and love
Jammed between
Complacency
Emergencies
That tear away the dream
Leave me as no one
No
Thing
Let go of me...
©2009clarencecbess

End Of A Season

Who's next?

"End Of A Season"

Here
Again
What
Could have been
I haven't the energy to cry
As maybe I should
As maybe I would
If your lips were a little closer
Your eyes slightly closed
Your words a little softer

Now
Again
On
To the reason
Conclusion
That every thing happens
For a change in the seasons
I haven't the energy to lie
As maybe I should
To keep your lips a little closer

What
If anything
Could I say
Should I do
With my heart a little colder
Your lips much too further
With the haze that descends
Between now
And again
Here
There
A lack of any reason
In this ending of a season
I haven't the energy to cry
Lie
With myself
To make the pain a little softer
As the kiss to you I offer...
©2009clarencecbess