Thursday, July 23, 2009

33

Birthdays for me are unfortunate reminders that there is SO much I've done, am doing, and need to get done. Though admittedly I can't complain, this b-day feels a little empty...a little blue.

"33"

I thought I was bound to love
As it turns out
I am bound to blue
Held by the black ties of history
Blinded by my pursuits
And the hapless souls who come
Ready and willing to give
Unfortunate cries
Falling beyond and behind
My blue skies
Summer dreams;

I thought I was bound to go
But I always end up bound to blue
Back at the beginning
On the soiled slate
Held by the consistency that escapes
Beyond mistakes
I learn from
But never solve
As I run out of time
Over and over again
In the blue that befriends;

I know I am bound to be
Forever bound to blue
Forever returning
Trying to forever escape
Creatures that call
Each time I lay
Closing my eyes
To dream of clear skies
Quiet and new
One without end
And the pain I've allowed to...
©2009clarencecbess
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1 comment:

Larry said...

I wonder if I would find all these double meetings in your poetry if I didn't initially encounter your work on DH. Certainly the imagery of someone trying to escape their habits, their personality, their flaws...... and failing is strong and terrifying. As a reader I empathize with the struggle. I can also see it as trying to deal with fetishistic personality laced with shame but always having to come around to acceptance. In either case, such despondency over accepting that one is, what one is.
Interesting its a woman - but alas no speculations as to why.

You have nice talents at painting verbal pictures. Sorry I'll be on vacation when you do your BN reading. Perhaps can meet you some other time.

July 30, 2009 at 12:46 PM

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