Thursday, December 31, 2009

Day One

Am I doomed to want the ones who never want me? This piece, the final one of 2009 is dedicated with hope and possibility to L.F. I don't know if you'll ever know how you blindsided me...

"Day One"

Seeing you
Acknowledgment of truth
As with the beauty of a setting sun
I've loved you since day one

Your soul within this space
As a humming bird's rapid wings
You quickened my heart's pace
With that I became undone
How I've loved you since day one

I had to know your name
Had to hear your voice
Make sure I was insane
Because it's not to be this way
In the silence feeling done
But knowing love since day one

I'm unraveled over this one
Haunted in my dreams
Desperate in the lines of my songs
My pages overrun
With notes to go unsung
Until you know
I've loved you since day one...

Saturday, December 26, 2009

Lost Ad

I lost a journal over the last 24hrs and it's killing me. It wasn't the 1st time, and somehow I know it won't be the last. But that doesn't stop it from hurting. So....

"Lost Ad"

Pardon me
But have you come across my soul?
I seem to have misplaced it.
I know,
Stupid right?
But I swear
One moment it was there
Safely tucked away
And the next,
Like money
Before I could even dream of enjoying it;
Out there
Being fondled
By some perv
Or worse yet
Being raped of it's purity...

If I don't find it in time
I wonder
Will I be like them
Looking at all those
Passing me by
Looking for some semblance
Harking back to mental snapshots
Coupling them
To inevitable evolution
In my pursuit of reunion...

I know
It's a bit much
Maybe too dramatic?
But it's all that I have
All that I will leave this world
Beyond bills
And the occasional story
Of that fella
What's his name?

A description?
Well that's a little hard...
Seeing as how a soul
Is the sum of it's experiences;
With that I guess I'd say
Musical in it's approach
Lyrical in fact
A little angry
A tad witty
With a splash sexual innuendo;
Never too high-brow
But thought-provoking
Full of struggle
And the trappings
Of an inexplicable existence...

You need more?
Sage-like at times
With just enough naivety
To entice...

One moment here
And the next
If this was the only occurrence
I wouldn't shake my head in wonder
At what you must think of me
To lose something so important;
But one cannot find one's self
Until one loses their self
So it comes as no surprise
That I am here
I've been losing things
Just as I have been finding things
For many years now...

Friday, December 25, 2009


I missed you there
In that second
Between passing
And repetitive thoughts
Missed you
As I looked to them
With every inch
They closer moved...

I missed you then
Miss you now
With the song
Between my ears
That makes me mourn
So close
To tears
And that ultimate finality
Which escapes the adjusted mind
But lingers in the skewered...

The problem with the holidays
As it is with everything else
Is that once you've known
The good
Keeps you up at night
Changes the way you walk
Makes you better
Even when you're at your worst,
You want nothing more
Than to return
As the world reminds of loss
With sad songs to match
Hidden joys
Wrapped beneath over-decorated trees...


I tried to post this one yesterday, but ran into signal problems...


Times like this
Always get me
The moment lingering
Page half-turned
Knowing what came before
Guessing what comes next;
Alters me in ways
Yet somehow familiar
Because I guess
That's just this time of year
As it was before
And shall be again
Just around the corner
A few moments away
Between the quiet
And alone
Nestled deep within me
As it was
And may forever be
There upon the eves
Of such an existence...

Thursday, December 24, 2009

Your Tears

Your tears
Allow me to go
Into your soul
Your stand
Your cigarette
Your hair
The way you stare always out
Beyond my perceptions of time
Beyond our dreams
That would be mine
Your tears
Guide me home
Into your hold
Your message whispered
Oh solo
Slowing me upon his notes
You accentuate
And cause me late;
In my confection of time
Beyond their dreams
That would be mine
Your tears
Will forever flow
Upon these things I come to know
That calculate
An unknown fate
Even in this pace we make
Upon your song
I drift along
Forgotten in time
Even with the dreams
That would be mine...

Monday, December 21, 2009

In Closing

Conclusion withstanding
I find I'm open in closing
Stirring the mix of existence
Linguistically approaching
My defeat at sin's feet

How could I have it any other way?
Conclusion withstanding
I'll hold us to greater truths
Thus solving
Surprisingly porous
As lies we were told to tell
Just before the bulge
And the swell
That stirred our existence
Till we could no longer tell
Between deception and defeat
As we lay there mourning
Beneath death's feet

In conclusion
What am I
But the result of love
Or momentary lust
In the blue revolution
Of the black equation
And it's connections
Brought forth by the bulge
Like our waist-lines
As we attempt to fit them
Into too-revealing fabrics
Losing innocence and imagination
Along the way
To the lies we will tell
As infinity we meet
Just as I
With no remorse
Beneath our feet...

Sunday, December 20, 2009

Jesus Saves

I saw this written in marker on the window of a subway car this evening. During this time of celebration and "giving", I couldn't help but be moved..right in line behind yet another customer.

"Jesus Saves"

Jesus saves
And I can't help but notice
That for each one
There are a million more lost
Left behind
Under the connivance
Of choice

Jesus saves
And so did Zeus
A million other gods before them
Tied in with the times
And truths that could be proved
In the remnants of forgotten ruins
Nomadic souls
And that little thing we can't escape

Jesus saved
And bounced a couple of checks
In a balancing act
Made comical
By the countless saps
Including myself
Who threw their grains
Coins and neighbors
Onto the altar
In an attempt to explain
What was never meant to be explained
Because isn't that the purpose of God
To rule
Never explaining his actions?
I mean,
Look at any corporation...

Jesus saves.

Friday, December 18, 2009

High Fructose

Across from me
Desert green tea
Nothing green about it though
Except the tint of the can...

Over there from me
The bag of cookies
Automated grandma
Adding inch to the seam
Waste to the dream;
My children look like adults
Talk like adults
Have no concept
As I trace it back
To not enough home-cooked meals
And the fact that mama
Needed more than pickles
With real iced-cream
But a side of fries
Washed down
By that slimy green can
Heavy with the should-a
Blessed by the could-a
Paid for with a would-a
But it's right down the block
And at the end of the day
Right now it's cheaper...

Wednesday, December 16, 2009


It's that time of year...


The Lord gives
And the Lord takes away
The Lord ask me
'What do you believe today?'

I answer 'question'
He smiles
Looks away
Off into the sunset
Then turns to me and says
'You're done.'

I'm puzzled
So we kneel and pray
With me muzzled
What could it do today?

But he giveth
Just as he took away
And I'm muddled
In my beliefs today...

Monday, December 14, 2009


I wanted to be your hero
Rescue you from the fools
Who tossed your heart to the heap
You off your feet
Only to gently place them
On petals
Upon the road to we

I only wanted to be your hero
Hand out love
Without rules and regulations
Kiss you
Keep those promises
Others used to bait you
Trap you
Only to
Throw you back into the sea

I wanted to lift you
Build you up
To us
Hold you upon my shoulders
In time you'd know
You took the gloom
Made it bloom
To fall at your feet
Grace every step you take...

Sunday, December 13, 2009

Clean-up In The Rear!

'Please don't tell me that!'
He yelled
Just before he saw the spill
The spew of irresponsibility
Because that's life
And there's always someone else
To clean-up the problem.

He returned with his mop
Silently erasing the mistakes of youth
In it's quest
To constantly reverberate
It's perceived immortality;
He wiped it away
Chunks and splatter
A technicolor explosion
Making his dollar
In the after-hours of society
Saving the story
For the like-minded crew
At the other end of the platform.

He wiped it away
And within two stops
The train was crowded again...

She sat in the spot
To the past of that space
Her feet firmly planted
In my memory of the burst
And the pine-scented swoops
That faded as quickly
As the moment that produced them
There will always be
Somebody else
To clean-up the consequences...

Saturday, December 12, 2009


Sometimes I dream of poetry.
Of words falling
Beautiful and slow
Everlasting images
Slightly out of focus
Of the perceived natural view;
At times I dream of laughter
Unfortunately most times it's pain;
I dream of the man across from me
With the Old English in his hands
(At 7:40 in the morning mind you)...

I awake in a haze
The songs almost out of reach
And just like him
I need a fix
So I dig
Beyond my eyes and theirs
Searching for my carbonated remedy
My second set of eyes
By which to see the world
And the shadows of those stanzas
That escape me.

Shadows that change their positions
With the angle of the sun
Brilliant noons
Haunting ones
Elongating their influences
Until they are one
Blanket of darkness
For me sleep beneath
Waiting for songs of eloquence
I'll forget again tomorrow morning...

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Blonde Ambition

Without a doubt
I feel you there
The place within my heart
That exhales
Each time I feel the one.

Without a doubt
Your enigma
Lifting me above
Those cirrus possibilities
To wander
Beyond the milky way of me
With each thought of finding
The one
Just far enough
From a sun.

Without a doubt
You've swelled the run
Of my spring
To rise above the shores
Of my screams
Drowning everything;
My reality come undone
I take a moment to exhale
That you could be the one.


To the one on the other side...


His guitar wept softly
Through the night
Into morning
Bringing to my ears
Serenades of sorrow.

I wanted to put my hand out
Take his melody
Lift it up to a smile
Let him know
Loneliness was not his alone;
Wanted to take his chords
Slip them between my fingers
Do what naturally comes best
Make joy of the struggle
Feast of the afterthought;
But I am left to listen
To hear in mystery
Pen this intensity...

I cannot play a guitar.

Sunday, December 6, 2009

Bake Sale

Blackberry pie for sale!
Moist and sweet
With just a little zing!
Would you like that
A la mode?

Blackberry pie for sale!
Dutch or exposed?
With or without cream?
Guaranteed to fill you up
Sliding down your pipe
Slow and warm
A reminder of life
To take things slow...

Plenty to go around
Have two or three!
No baby
Not at these prices!
You better grab the whole thing!

No straw
No boysen
Blueberries here
What's that?
Sweet potato?
Wrong time of year;
I only got blackberry
Same as those before me
Wild and free
Plucked in time
With their scent to the breeze
Moist and sweet
With just a little zing...

Piping hot!
All on it's own
Or would you like that
A la mode?
Balanced out
With the crust and the cream
Balanced out
With the truth
And the dream...

Somewhere In The Forest

Titillating song enters mind
But sista
You got the wrong time
You see that fine oak?
I'm swinging from those branches
Not about to give up the shade
Not about to give up the song
In the quiet rustle of those leaves;
In a forest full of harmony
There are plenty of trees for you
For we
So sista
Keep on steppin'
This here melody
Belongs to me...


Snow falls on questions.
Gently persisting answers.
Truth melts on my tongue.


Today I go there.
Drifting into tomorrow.
Now comes mystery.


Saturday, December 5, 2009

The Winners

Here they are folks! The winning pictures for my new book.
#1) New Artist Photo
#2) Rear Cover
#3) The Cover

December Grey

I always enjoy Long Island... from the railroad...

"December Grey"

He forgot it yesterday
Lost upon the words
He couldn't say
I doubt
It could hurt so much
But I'm at a loss to say
To be without it
Would empty me too much...

In their stories
I hear them say
Never a loss for words
That he could rule this way
Just as the sun set
The other day
Only to burn horizons
Where children play...

I'm smiling
Looking into
And beyond the rain
At workers passing by
Knowing their present
And part of my past
Are one in the same;
Were it not for laws
What would they sing?
To tell their story
What would they scream?

I'm observing
All the barren trees
Skeletal remains
Of the forgotten spring
Revealing to me the truth
That just beyond these dreams
Dies the essence of our being
Cries the passion of our soul
Lies the freedom that we need...

He forgot it yesterday
Just as I again knew it today
That children cannot play
That they will never know their scream;
That just as beneath those sodden roots
Was life
As above these falling tears
Are the bluest of skies...

With Benefits

He told me I was there
Upon him
Around him
Weaved me tapestries
Silken and plush
With the possibilities
That come with seduction

I gave
I buckled
Weak at the knees
Kneeling at his base
Prayer to my savior
Rather my heart's
I asked forgiveness
Upon a kiss

He took me
Raised me
Brought my face to his
Closed his eyes
Leaned in...

(And I smelled him
Took him
Ingesting his bouquet
Of masculinity
With a hint of femininity
Through the strength of his hands upon me
And the quietness of his actions)

I wanted to close my eyes
Return to the prayer
But hesitation stayed me
Understood me
As he denied me
Whispered to me
'Yes, but...'

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Silent Undertaking

We never talk about
Not talking...

We dance the dance
Skirting about and around
Our history
Silently knowing
We are like-minded souls
Passing the time
With our idiosyncrasies
Private little wars
We wage in order to control
Whatever time we have left...

We never talk
About not talking
And I always end up wondering
Just before tears
Do you watch the blossoms
As I do?
Hear faintly a song?
Smell softly their bouquet?
Only to question why thorns
Would ever grace such beauty...

I come to know
The more petrified my soul
The looser my bark
Drying and crumbling to the base of me;
Silence and longing
Echoes that strike upon each other
Seeking ignition
To destroy the forest of we
Whom attempt to breeze
Producing sound
Upon the branches
Of leafless trees...


I'm happy I've written
My feelings of the moment
For the longevity of time...

Happy I smile
With my eyes stinging
From the after-hour existence
Because worse
Come to worse
I know I've got it good
Better than most...

My being seeks to grasp
Joy and calculation
To the end result
Of expanding my universe
Beyond this petal
Upon which I reside
Beyond this bloom
Upon a twisted stem
A part of this convoluted mass
That seeks to ensnare
Every thread upon the breeze...

E Pluribus Unum

Dear Lord, Why?

"E Pluribus Unum"

The problem is
I still love him
Even though mutual adoration
Appears not to exist.

The problem is
I ran into him
As amber seduction
Took me
Made me
Long for his embrace
His kiss
All I was familiar with
And the emotions that come
Upon satisfaction.

The problem is
I can't have him
Lost him
Upon desire to snag him
Make him mine
And now
He looks to me
With question
And that evil thing
Looks to me
With contradictory eyes
For that likewise embrace...

How I weep...