Half Me

I see him and wish he were mine.
Wish my influence wasn't so bound
To the minute and second hands of our environ.

Everyday he smiles, and though fleetingly,
I find that I'm staring at myself
A carbon copy from another universe;
I try my best to warn him
Accolade him when apropos
Joke with him that I couldn't be his dad
When in truth, I could so be.

He is the culmination of my fears and possibilities
Slipping further away to that unknown place
Not quite regret;
He is the hand I've longed to take
Since I was a boy
'Three sons' I'd said, before I realized
Responsibility and reproduction often now
Do not go hand-in-hand;
His is the face I see when she walks by
And I genetically and
Visually splice an offspring.

Maybe that's why it also sickens me to see him,
This dream,
Behind my eyelids so long, I know it when I'm awake,
Because as long as I'm here,
Others will come
And I can only hope this feeling
As with all things reconciled
Will pass away
Each time the mirror of ages reminds
That it all ends with me
And nothing will go on...
©2014clarencecbess