Two Moments Of Death

Great.
Now I feel like shit.
Not just about the past
But the present
And the rapidly diminishing
Possibility of a future
With you;
And for what?
Nothing but honesty
In the fact that
As much as you frustrate me
You excite me
Surprise me
Just when I've all but given in
To the voice
That's been here before
Seductively whispering to move on
Because there has to be
Someone
Out there
Receptive
As ready and willing
Perfectly imperfect
Looking for the balance that comes
(Or so I think)
With love.
I've actually written two poems for you now.
Does that mean we have to end twice?
As I close my eyes
Envisioning you reading
What was just placed in your hands
What I swore I would not do
Because this is the result
Me sitting on the train
A knot in my stomach
With a mind thrashing about
Coming up with all kinds of scenarios
None of them worse
Than seeing you crumple my words
My heart
Only to toss them aside
Read but unheard
Because you are not ready
'Cause you feel I am not
Ready
'Cause
You've decided to block me off
leaving me only with wishes
Longing
And two poems
I probably never should have written
Because as always
They are the death
of we...
©2009clarencecbess