The Longest Walk

I had to perform a sad duty today. It broke my heart because whatever progress this individual made will now be tainted and their view of any educational system will always carry an undertone of mistrust...

"The Longest Walk"

It was the longest walk.
I gathered his things
Watched him unaware
Saw him happy
A child
Any child
Watched him wave goodbye
Innocent
Caught in a glass revolving door
He should never know exist
But
Was about to become all too familiar with

Quietly we looked to each other
Those aware
Their faces said it all
Like mine
We wanted to somehow
Warn
Prepare
Save him
From the inevitability of that stroll;
It was the longest walk
And we hadn't even made it out into the hall...

He came to me
Took my hand
Instinctively I held him
A little firmer
Finding myself bringing his head
Closer to me
To comfort myself
Maybe transfer a little bit of the love
I have for them all
To him for his journey;
Of course as we entered the hall
He turned towards the familiar exit
But I one-eighty'd
My hand to his back
In a gentle swoop
Guiding him
Leading him
Somehow
Failing him
Even though it wasn't my actions
That brought this moment.

We passed a few people
Whom later would say
'I saw it on your face'
Of course
My eyes always give it away
And yet he was still unaware...
It was the longest walk.

Half way down the stairs
I didn't want to do it anymore
I wanted to tell him
To go on
There
Alone
I didn't want him to equate me
To the situation
Later
In some foreign place
With foreign people
He would never trust
Because like me
In the end
Would let him down
Take him away
Walk him away...
It was the longest walk.

We entered those final two rooms.
There before us
A boy
Any boy
He looked up
And to my horror
I saw him
Older
Aware
Waiting for his younger self
Questioningly the younger called his name
The older remained silent
He'd already taken that long walk
(I wonder if he did it alone?)

It was here that reality dawned
He looked to me
Me quickly looking away
I could feel his weight shift
As he haunched
In that familiar
'What have I done now?' pose
And yet we still
Hadn't made it to our destination.

We went through that final doorway.
There they were
The powers that be
With their notebooks
Memos and pens
Ready to make the transfer...
There was nothing I could do
Nothing I could say
I'd never experienced this
(Well, not this way)...

She turned
Said his name
Quietly he said
'Hello'

It was the last thing I heard him say.
And as long as that walk had been
To get there
It was
And will be
An even longer one to escape...
©2010clarencecbess