A VaJay-jae Monolouge

She looked like she could've been me
Down there
Between the truth
And the race to possibility;
Too much clay
Caked on with such urgency
And a 'do'
That only invited nightmares
To one's imagination.

Now next to her
In subtlety
Accentuated conformity
Outside of her crown
Reminiscent of the Kahn
Wild and untamed
Yet purposefully together;
They were together.
Shoulder to shoulder
Friend
Sista'
Lover?
Two Nubian delicacies
One lunch-time special
The other a main course
Punctuated with a glass of wine
Maybe creme bru-le'
And a sly smile
Cause you knew
You'd be gettin' some tonight...
©2010clarencecbess

Sentimental Questions

Sentimental questions
Flow across the mind
Overrun by tears
Each and every time
So I'm afraid to turn my tele on
Getting more connected
Yet I want to be alone
With my sentimental questions now.

No longer looking for a heaven
I've seen what it brings out of you
Inevitable judgments of blue;
Sadness is the question
Do we really want to know
The answer to what's greater than our self?
So I think I'll keep to myself
Working for the best of this hell.

Sentimental questions
Etched within the folds of their faces
All the questions of youth
Answered as proven lies to the test
Of going through the world not alone
Of conquering the decay of their bones...

Sentimental questions
Flow against my soul
In opposite directions
Of a truth I'd give a minute
Just to hold
Something beyond me
Truly connected
That has nothing to do
With my cellular phone;
No longer looking for your heaven
I wonder,
Would you care to be alone?
©2010clarencecbess

One-Sided Love Affair

With first sight
I wanted you
With first breath
I needed you
With first touch
I knew you
With first kiss
I loved you.

With first song
My soul was flying
With first wish
A blessing
As I lay with you
Confessing
And it's been said
But bears repeating
I loved you.

With first sigh
I thought you
With first tear
I knew you
With last touch
I lost you
Rued
There would be
No more I love you's
No quiet eyes
To watch you
No lips to kiss you
In moments private
And amazing

I loved you
Too bad you cannot say the same...
©2010clarencecbess

Kiss The Sky

You
Bind my wrist
You make me cry
Think I don't understand
How you deny

You look at me
You
Puppet we
Confuse our memory
Till we think
It we
And thus it be

Oh my, my little bird
Build your nest
Make it best
Push your children to the sky
Upon their wings
Before it take a cage
To have them sing

You
Want to be
Your history
Got me thinkin'
It be 'bout time
To uprise
Kiss the sky
Beyond the dream
Beyond those fantasies sold to us
Which make me want to scream

Little bird
Watch your wings
Before they
Clip
Your wings
Watch you fall
Now denied
Watch you fall
Beside the spring
Just to pick you up
Place you in cage
To sing

Oh my, my
How I try
Despite my wrist
Within these twist

Oh my, my
How I try
Despite these fist
I cannot raise
For it is believed the way
And though
You
Would bury me
Want to
Chop my tree
Get to testing me
I will survive
Because
I have survived
And thus
We survive
To
Build our nest
Make it best
Push our children
To spread their wings
Before
It takes a cage
To hear them sing;
Push our souls
To higher rise
Spread our wings
And
Kiss the sky...
©2010clarencecbess

Choice Words

The problem
Is choice.

Eloquence retreats
In matters of choice
As souls deem it fine
To impede on historical sensitivities.

The problem
Is you and I
Allowing those
Who would deny us the choice
To dictate our lives
With this illusion
Of making of difference
Through choice
Or better yet,
The will of the people
Knowing full well
Beyond emerald delicacies
Choice withers
Under the oppression of fact
That when given a choice
Inevitably
Someone will always make the wrong
Choice
Simply because
They choose to do so...
©2010clarencecbess

34

Yesterday fades
Tomorrow's conceived
But for today
Twilight
Caught between letting go
And holding on
As I view this growing collection
In my closet
Already overrun
With things I couldn't
Shouldn't
Wear
As I still attempt
To fit into existence
Despite my growing appetite
For difference.
©2010clarencecbess

Cyclical Degradation

Tired of writing
I want to live
As silent observation
Chronicling becomes me.

Now they all look the same
With their i-pods
Addidas
And cheap hats
Sold by cheap people
Who could give a shit about quality
Because
You
Could give a shit about quality;
Now
They sound the same
As they converse their computers
They niggaz
That nigga
And the mida
Who wouldn't provide that side of pussy
To go with his lame excuse
For masculinity...

Tired.
Old.
Just plain bored.
I need a new scene
New people
Even if only to inevitably discover
They are all the same
Laughing at the same jokes
Lamenting over the same coin
Wasting more precious moments
On the degradation of we.

I'm tired of writing.
I'm tired of observing.
I want to live.
Want to have someone write about
Me...
©2010clarencecbess

Binding Ties

Trying to make sense
Of ties that bind
I'm up a little late.

Stories flow
Stories I never imagined here
With us;
Not that things were ever perfect
But I know they did a better job
Than to deserve a fate
Second only to hell itself.

That sacrifice could be made
And not returned
Shouldn't shock me
Our world is still full of sin
Even after that ultimate sacrifice;
A side still pierced
To drain life's blood.

The errors unrecognized in youth
Become the troubles of age
Unless ties that bind
Are strengthened;
The ties that bind
Through adversity of the soul
Remain strong
Hopefully
Within me
As I draw closer
To those decisions
Situations
That beg one to prove
Ultimately show
Who they've become
Further along life's path.
©2010clarencecbess

The Wanting

Wanting you
I drown in dreams
Beneath the things
I want to do
Upon having you.

Wanting you
I occupy
Too many things denied
Beneath the flesh
Within the sins
Of places I want to go
So far to have you know
I want you so.

First star I see
I'll wish for you and me
First tear that falls
Waiting on your call
Makes sweeter everything
Truth of all
I want to do
Upon having you.

Wanting you
I'm skirting clues
Maybe it's too late
To swim in you
Without needing rescue
From beneath the blue
From beneath my pleas
Obstructing advancement
Through your tides
Seeking to drown my being
In my daydream
Which consumes
All I want to do
Upon having you...
©2010clarencecbess

Thank-You Note

Dedicated to my dad. Happy Father's Day...

"Thank-You Note"

Through silence
I thank you.
Through quiet existence
I thank you.
Through internal peace
I thank you.
Through spiritual affirmation
I thank you.
Through the struggle
Through the tears
Through the successes
Failures
I thank you.
Through their eyes
I thank you.

I've never been much of a man
But I'm an amazing individual
Who breathes
Exuding lessons
You knew only time would prove
Were learned well;
I never been much of a son
But everyday I'm entrusted
Asked
To be the father you were to me
And so I thank you.

I thank you today
Yesterday
Tomorrow
Every time
Decisions come
And I am able to respond
With pride
Confidence
Not just from myself
But others
Who look to me
To be the leader
They take me to be.

In honor
I thank you.
In principles
I thank you.
In honesty
I thank you.
Through Alike
Difference
Breath and blood
Time
I thank you.

What I was
What I am
What I shall be
I thank you.
©2010clarencecbess

Days Like This

Org. written yesterday, I got in too late to post it. In honor of June 7th, 2010... Enjoy!

"Days Like This"

It's days like this
Despite the sadness of the world
All is beautiful.

Days like this
Everyone smiles
Reminded
Of all that is beautiful.

You don't see the cracks
In sidewalks or life
And for a moment fleeting
You are transported back
To almost any time
Connected in the art
Of relaxation.

Days like this
Despite the truth
You never want to go away;
Despite the occasional cloud
You know the sun will shine again
That love will find a way
And ultimately
We will all be at peace
In the beautiful moments
Of memories
Of days like this.
©2010clarencecbess

June Paradox

Up
Warm
But
Cold
Thinkin'
Sippin' on my tea
Thinkin' equality
My meaning of
Free
Too much is
Free
No price to pay
We give
Sling it out to the masses
So much now they
Think
Without thinking
Entitlement
Where's mine?
In my pocket
Paradox being
I work for me
Yet I pay for you
Yours
And 'Sam gives you more money back?
Yet you say
That I am free
This and that is
Free;
Funny
Even the word includes
F-E-E...
©2010clarencecbess

Sinner

Here in silence
I am thinking
Around debris
Of a broken world
Waiting for a sunrise
That may never come
In my darkest hour
Of escape...

Is there light
Over where you are?
Away
Far away
On the eternal horizon;
Is there pain?
Is there peace
And have the people changed
Beyond the flesh
Further from the sinner
We are all born to be?

Here in silence
Waiting for a sound
Longing for the strange
To devour me with it's hate;
In my thinking hour
A sinner on his shame
Searching the void
Through the pictures of his past
Fading slowly
Slowly to his fate...

Deliver me from the black.
©2010clarencebcess

Ending To Begin

Stars are only fading photographs
And wind
A precursor to change
Our direction's blowing sadly
Toward annihilation's plain.

Whispers are for children
And a time
When one wants to lie to themselves
Lie that they are so important
Nothing matters but the self

Universe expands
Only to collapse upon itself
One in the same
Our society
Bloated
Waiting for deflation
God's balloon in a garden
Where unruly children play
Whispering their secrets
Stealthily on their paths to doom
On their paths to age

Strange
Now I see the light
Unafraid to turn the page
Ending to begin
Just to grace a stage
Infinite as the cosmos to which time plays
Beneath the universal truth
For as much life that fades
Still even more death remains
Hidden in the darkest winds of change...
©2010clarencecbess

Unplugged

Unplugged we watch
Listening to the urban symphony
Hear the cornucopia of tunes
Spewing

Unplugged we wonder
From left to right
And back again
What is she reading?
Is he penning something about me?
And what is that noise
Underneath the train...

Unplugged I see them
Trying to escape
The way the plugged-in one's do
As they bob, shift, or play
Only to glance my way
My pen catching their eye
As it gets lost
In a myriad of conversations
About life and its ways...
©2010clarencecbess

What It Is

I can smell the green she plucks
Tossing it to the floor
In an unknown measurement;
It smells clean
Blanketing the grime
And then she's gone
Yet her emerald droplets remain...

I can see his spill
Tossed to the floor
In a momentary lapse of unconsciousness;
It smells of salt
And of spices that entice
In the late hour of aggravation.

And then he's gone
Yet his artwork remains...

I can hear them caw
Taunting souls unseen
The behavior of girls
Still locked in their castles
Waiting for charm;
And then they are gone
Yet my ears vibrate the same...

But it doesn't matter
As I stare
At droplets of emerald
And smell
Inhale
Breathe;
Get lost in their quiet reminder
There is so much more to the world
Than what we decide to see...
©2010clarencecbess

Old Fashioned Love

That old fashioned love
Sat diagonal from me
And I dreamed...

Went far off
To places unseen
Beyond glimpses
I caught
But can't seem to remember;
A contrasting quiet
To the noise that ensues
As the present boards
And we look to each other
Shaking our heads in wonder
Yet clear understanding
This is why you girls don't have men...

Old fashioned love
Connected with me
As I attempted to capture it's beauty
Looked to me
With eyes of wisdom
And smiled
Seeing
Somehow knowing
I was an old fashioned love
Looking for solace
In a new fashioned world
Seeking nothing but the burial
Of all that we were
In the delicate act
Of the perception of the unseen...
©2010clarececbess

Don't Read Me

Inspired by Prince's "Don't Play Me"...

"Don't Read Me"

Don't read me
Thinking
You are
Knowing
Becoming
Feeling
Me
Underneath my
History
Staring back at my dreams.

Don't read me
Try to figure me
Between my lines
Underneath my stanzas;
You couldn't read enough of me anyhow
To see enough of me
Anyhow
Or way
Know me
Between my sheets
Enveloped
In the way my beats
Play
When you're not hearing me
Divulging me
And moments passed
I try best to explain
In that art of moving on
Which damns me
Figures me
So fine.

Don't read me
Hear me
Resonate me
Reverberate the soul
As my passion plays
In the consciousness of you
And I
Together
Between my beats
Underneath my sheets
And the stanzas that fall
Hard
Extended
Unprotected so beautifully...
©2010clarencecbess

A Tango In The Night

He forgot their names
He brought them shame
Within his darkness
Light never came

Softly her kiss
Stole him away
Sang him lullabies
Of sweet escape
Within darkness
They slipped away
Upon something inhumane
And light never came

Quietly his soul
Took her breath away
And they forgot their names
Understood no shame
With each step made
In each others arms
They slipped away
Upon unspoken pains
Never caring if the brightness came

They thought them vain
Could not forget their names
Laughed behind their shames
Secretly wishing the same
Escape
Within a darkness
Within a pain...
©2010clarencecbess

Roll Call

Request for poems come all the time, but rarely am I actually moved to write one (without pay..lol...jk). I was close to not writing with this latest request, but as I thought of the individuals for whom this piece was composed, it took me back to a group who've I've always wanted to write something for. These were those special educators of my past whom provided some of my earliest and most vivid memories. To them and the retirees of ps36K, this poem is for you... As always, enjoy...

"Roll Call"

These names came to me
And my first memories
Were of halls
Whose opposite ends
Contained rails of opposing shades
Red here
Blue there;
Of rooms
Whose doors seemed so heavy
They'd lock you in
Forever;
Of floors
Polished to the point
Were it not for the fact they were wood
They would've been transparent;
But mostly of them
With the names like
Trotsky
Williams
And Compton
Or Tarr
Those with their bright ideas
Who sought to introduce me
To the intellectual world...

And at that time,
I didn't want to learn.

Then there were the ones who saw
Believed
Beyond the changing scenes
That I would not be lost
To my loins
And those inescapable pressures
We placed on each other
To do whatever
Say
Whatever
As we started to sniff ourselves;
Those were the names
Like Wuckovitch
Coffee and Phillips;
Believing and exposing
Feeding the desire
I still did not recognize within me
That lay dormant
Biding it's time to flourish...

Those were the ones
Who would not let me fail
Even as society bound their hands
Tighter
Even as the district weathered
Those phone calls from my mother
Because the ones before
Could care less
As they escaped each afternoon
Back to their privileges
Figuring they'd pass the buck
On my lazy
On my haziness of perception
About the world
And just where it was within it
I could actually be...

At that time,
I was learning to learn.

I hadn't stopped learning
By the time they came
Those who fanned the flames
Shaped my coal of existence
With Pressure and time
Into the internal diamond
All take me to be;
Those who sought to tell the world
There was no denying me
That I would not lay down
A statistic;
They were the names like Goff
Graves, Benfatta, St. Amant,
Brown, Raynor, and Holmer...

These names came to me
And I realized why I was here
Why
You were here
Because there is nothing greater
Than the one;
The one who'll stand
Far off in the sands of time
Reciting their own roll call of greatness
Appreciation
The one
Who'll hold their child close
And give their child's educator
A nod of appreciation
For the struggle
As hands are bound
By entities substituting
Testing for educating;
The one
Who will take the place
Carry the torch
Igniting the flame of learning
Within souls who have no idea
Just what it is
The world may bring...

The one I became,
As I loved to learn.
©2010clarencecbess