What It Is

I can smell the green she plucks
Tossing it to the floor
In an unknown measurement;
It smells clean
Blanketing the grime
And then she's gone
Yet her emerald droplets remain...

I can see his spill
Tossed to the floor
In a momentary lapse of unconsciousness;
It smells of salt
And of spices that entice
In the late hour of aggravation.

And then he's gone
Yet his artwork remains...

I can hear them caw
Taunting souls unseen
The behavior of girls
Still locked in their castles
Waiting for charm;
And then they are gone
Yet my ears vibrate the same...

But it doesn't matter
As I stare
At droplets of emerald
And smell
Inhale
Breathe;
Get lost in their quiet reminder
There is so much more to the world
Than what we decide to see...
©2010clarencecbess

Old Fashioned Love

That old fashioned love
Sat diagonal from me
And I dreamed...

Went far off
To places unseen
Beyond glimpses
I caught
But can't seem to remember;
A contrasting quiet
To the noise that ensues
As the present boards
And we look to each other
Shaking our heads in wonder
Yet clear understanding
This is why you girls don't have men...

Old fashioned love
Connected with me
As I attempted to capture it's beauty
Looked to me
With eyes of wisdom
And smiled
Seeing
Somehow knowing
I was an old fashioned love
Looking for solace
In a new fashioned world
Seeking nothing but the burial
Of all that we were
In the delicate act
Of the perception of the unseen...
©2010clarececbess

Don't Read Me

Inspired by Prince's "Don't Play Me"...

"Don't Read Me"

Don't read me
Thinking
You are
Knowing
Becoming
Feeling
Me
Underneath my
History
Staring back at my dreams.

Don't read me
Try to figure me
Between my lines
Underneath my stanzas;
You couldn't read enough of me anyhow
To see enough of me
Anyhow
Or way
Know me
Between my sheets
Enveloped
In the way my beats
Play
When you're not hearing me
Divulging me
And moments passed
I try best to explain
In that art of moving on
Which damns me
Figures me
So fine.

Don't read me
Hear me
Resonate me
Reverberate the soul
As my passion plays
In the consciousness of you
And I
Together
Between my beats
Underneath my sheets
And the stanzas that fall
Hard
Extended
Unprotected so beautifully...
©2010clarencecbess

A Tango In The Night

He forgot their names
He brought them shame
Within his darkness
Light never came

Softly her kiss
Stole him away
Sang him lullabies
Of sweet escape
Within darkness
They slipped away
Upon something inhumane
And light never came

Quietly his soul
Took her breath away
And they forgot their names
Understood no shame
With each step made
In each others arms
They slipped away
Upon unspoken pains
Never caring if the brightness came

They thought them vain
Could not forget their names
Laughed behind their shames
Secretly wishing the same
Escape
Within a darkness
Within a pain...
©2010clarencecbess

Roll Call

Request for poems come all the time, but rarely am I actually moved to write one (without pay..lol...jk). I was close to not writing with this latest request, but as I thought of the individuals for whom this piece was composed, it took me back to a group who've I've always wanted to write something for. These were those special educators of my past whom provided some of my earliest and most vivid memories. To them and the retirees of ps36K, this poem is for you... As always, enjoy...

"Roll Call"

These names came to me
And my first memories
Were of halls
Whose opposite ends
Contained rails of opposing shades
Red here
Blue there;
Of rooms
Whose doors seemed so heavy
They'd lock you in
Forever;
Of floors
Polished to the point
Were it not for the fact they were wood
They would've been transparent;
But mostly of them
With the names like
Trotsky
Williams
And Compton
Or Tarr
Those with their bright ideas
Who sought to introduce me
To the intellectual world...

And at that time,
I didn't want to learn.

Then there were the ones who saw
Believed
Beyond the changing scenes
That I would not be lost
To my loins
And those inescapable pressures
We placed on each other
To do whatever
Say
Whatever
As we started to sniff ourselves;
Those were the names
Like Wuckovitch
Coffee and Phillips;
Believing and exposing
Feeding the desire
I still did not recognize within me
That lay dormant
Biding it's time to flourish...

Those were the ones
Who would not let me fail
Even as society bound their hands
Tighter
Even as the district weathered
Those phone calls from my mother
Because the ones before
Could care less
As they escaped each afternoon
Back to their privileges
Figuring they'd pass the buck
On my lazy
On my haziness of perception
About the world
And just where it was within it
I could actually be...

At that time,
I was learning to learn.

I hadn't stopped learning
By the time they came
Those who fanned the flames
Shaped my coal of existence
With Pressure and time
Into the internal diamond
All take me to be;
Those who sought to tell the world
There was no denying me
That I would not lay down
A statistic;
They were the names like Goff
Graves, Benfatta, St. Amant,
Brown, Raynor, and Holmer...

These names came to me
And I realized why I was here
Why
You were here
Because there is nothing greater
Than the one;
The one who'll stand
Far off in the sands of time
Reciting their own roll call of greatness
Appreciation
The one
Who'll hold their child close
And give their child's educator
A nod of appreciation
For the struggle
As hands are bound
By entities substituting
Testing for educating;
The one
Who will take the place
Carry the torch
Igniting the flame of learning
Within souls who have no idea
Just what it is
The world may bring...

The one I became,
As I loved to learn.
©2010clarencecbess

At The Edge Of A Verse

If you asked me now
What would I say
Looking in your eyes so far away
There where your heart stays
Plays in things that make me sing
Sad songs of broken dreams

If you asked me now
I'm afraid I would fall
Back into your arms
And all of your songs that sing
Promises untrue of the greatest things
You could bring my heart
But lock away in your misery
Which somehow I must breathe
In order to be
In this moment still
Broken and barren of all my will

If I asked you now
What would you say
Of the truth I placed in front of you?
Could you love me now
Open and free as the things that come to me
When I see you smile
When you're holding me
And all's like poetry
Flowing
Making me high
Seeing things I never thought to know
Then
But need to know now
Here at the edge of the verse that is you...
©2010clarencecbess

7 Shades Of Me

My palate fell to the floor
Where colors once individual
Contained
Began moving
Unbound to their placements
Dawdling at first
Unsure of their freedom
Waiting for the brush
To sweep them back into place
Until they realized the prospect of their escape
Leaving their solitary paths
Joining the herd
As it stormed across the plain of creation.

Kicking up a jubilant dust
Their vivid display
Became dense and muddy
Akin to my emotional state
As thoughts of starting over again re-entered;
Muddled yet concise
I dipped into their strange new hue
Puddled at the base of my resolve
Painting ecstasy
one stroke at a time...
©2010clarencecbess

A Little Something Special

He got a little dirt on his face
But that's alright
The makeup of work
Beautifies.

She got a bounce to her sway
Internal drum
Beating strong
The mother-land's song,
And that's alright
A little rhythm
Beautifies.

They got a way
Of making me smile
Even as I worry about their fates;
Got a way
Of making me think
About illusions of choice
We paint;
But it's all alright
The different notes to the songs
Arrangements to the rhymes
Strokes of their brush
Beautify
Leaving me with resolve
Leaving me
With faith...

Absent

Usually I'm not here
In the late
In the down
But I used to...

I miss them.
Miss the swirl and rock
Of my contents
Their painted faces
And the oddity of their existence
Like the ones across from me
Attempting to blend
In their Williamsburg wear
Of patched jeans
Grungy
Dingy colors
And worn out shoes
Their
Hip wear...

Usually
I'm not here
I'm sleeping;
Dreaming of fitting in
A square peg
To a tubular hole
Denting it's sides
Placating it's truth
To achieve
Even an imperfect meld
To the shapes of perfected molds
That would deem me
And mine
A part of the plan
At least beyond the one
Only we could understand...
©2010clarencecbess

Mad Sweat

I'm breakin'
Tweakin'
Freezin'
Sweatin' it out
Wishin' I could go without
The drama
This virus placed in me
This
Need to be

I'm livid
And vivid
In my dreams
Wet
Soaked
In the detoxification
Of my spirit
Drowning in a mad sweat
Too achy to attempt
To save myself
Drinking gallons
Pissing barrels
Shiverin'
Shakin'
Tryin' to hold it still
Keep it together
As the chill creeps out of my mind
Enveloping me
Till I am left a natural set of castanets
Teeth rapping against each other
Producing the music of the damned
Breakin' me
Forcing me to return to the warm pool that waits
Beneath and within...

It's a bitch being sick.
©2010clarencecbess

Girl On A Pole

She swung herself around
And around
And around some more
Giving us a show
Little miss thang
Happily in bliss
With each twirl upon her stage;
I had to laugh
Wondering
If I'd grown up here
Would I have been as playful?
I doubt it
Public
Was not a performance destination
In my mother's eyes...

I laughed again
Hoping the woman
Often glancing my way
Didn't think me crazy;
She smiled instead
And I think we both settled
Into memories and far gone possibilities
Still caught
Twirling around
On our own stages of innocence
Lost in the spotlight of responsibility
Deeming it fine
To just sit and watch
An audience to the evolution of a soul
We just happened to cross
On our way to the great wherever...
©2010clarencecbess

Within

Within shoes and socks
Within shirts and pants
Within hair and flesh
I
Decay
Within reason and thought
Within truth and dreams
Within freedom and chains
I
Question
What exist
Within eyes
And
Within voice
Within fate
And of course
Within choice
Within song and line
The lines
I
Wait in
To spend
What they won't give me
What I've
Earned
That they
Won't give me
What I've
Learned
They won't give we
Within chance
That we
Learn...

Within book and verse
Within praise and curse
Within heart and hand
I
Feel
Within reason
That I
Die
Each time you
Within me
And thus again
We
See
Only to stake mistake
Upon each of our faces
To aid the decay
That exist
But is feared to recognize...
©2010clarencecbess

Overcome

Baby come to me
I need some ecstasy
Need to kiss you deep
Be the one
Who makes you come

Run into this fantasy
Where there's only you and me
Underneath the sun
Our bodies
Becoming one

Come and let me lay you down
Underneath your favorite sounds
Make your rivers flow
Over
Just to get to know your heart

Baby come to me
Please
Let me take you the highest peak
Steal your breath
Away
So you can't say
Stop

Baby run to me
Let me give that ecstasy
Fulfill your fantasies
Be the one that makes you come
Over
And over;
Let me love you deep
Just to get your heart to speak
That I'm the only one
To make your rivers flow
Over
And over;
Let me kiss you sweet
Hike your canyons deep
Lose my breath beneath your heat
Make you come
Over
And over...

Just to be your dream
That becomes reality
Over
And over...
©2010clarencecbess

Idella's Rhapsody

This piece is dedicated to my mother in her time of loss...

"Idella's Rhapsody"

I knew you
But I didn't know you
But you made my mother happy
And for that
I loved you.

I remember when you came around
My mother's excitement
Couldn't be contained
Like Celie reuniting with Nettie
Her best friend
Her
Sista'
Had come home.

I don't think I ever remember hearing your name
Before then
But afterward
I knew I would never forget it.

I remember stepping into your pristine world
Of travel
(You'd lived in Boston
How exotic in my mind)
Of manicured lawns
And a show home
With fair walls
High ceilings
So high
It seemed my dreams could hang there
In that perfection;
I remember the joy I felt
Every time my mother would say
'We're goin' over to Tiny's'
You were escape
For her
For us
Me
And you made my mother happy.

Long before the brick
And the splits
Of those precise worlds
You
Were a dose of truth
With your cigarettes and beer
And the way you
As I now do
Reminisce
Of your night skin
Brightening your alabaster grin
And my mother's days
When the sun seem to set
A little too early on her happiness.

Time faded you
Oh beautiful black rose
But there you stood
Proud and unfathomed
Amongst weeds
Feverishly attempting to strangle you;
My mother's smiles disappeared
Replaced with periodic reports
Of the gales that would come
Into your field seeking to topple you;
Though you would bow for a moment
You always arose
To let the blessings above
Shine down upon you.

I remember that last time I saw you
Because it was the first time
Those sepia memories returned
And I was reminded of the influence
You had upon my life
That you will never know;
A few of your petals lay strewn about
Yet your bouquet lingered strong
And you made my mother smile...

It was a chance conversation
Upon which I discovered
The gardener's shears had taken you;
I heard that sorrow in her voice
Sent my love to those who knew you best
And begin to feel that tickle in my mind
Which led me here
To write for her
For you
And those
Whom I cannot embrace right now
To comfort;
Sad as I am
I have to remember
That the world got to see you grow
Beautify
And at the end of the day
You made my mother smile...
©2010clarencecbess

Trapezoidial Daydream

Shapes I've never seen
Angles
Warped in shadows
As information streams
Past my eyes
Into the sub being;
They'd make my life complete
If it weren't for these things

Songs I cannot sing
Verses that make no sense
Warped from the linguistics
Of economic travesty
Streams past my ears
Into my being;
They'd make my life complete
If it weren't for these things

Fields of forest green
Moving in unison of spring
Warped like a silken screen
Flow elegant
Through my dreams
Past my soul
Into my seeds
I'd plant
If I had a home
Somewhere
Anywhere
Clean
That would make my life complete
If it weren't for these things

I looked into their eyes
Saw all the shapes
That were
Shall come to be
And I screamed
Bathed in scarlet characters
Warped in shadows
Of naivete' and green
Innocence
I wonder if I was among the last to know
Which made my life complete
Because I could not have these things...
©2010clarencecbess

The Longest Walk

I had to perform a sad duty today. It broke my heart because whatever progress this individual made will now be tainted and their view of any educational system will always carry an undertone of mistrust...

"The Longest Walk"

It was the longest walk.
I gathered his things
Watched him unaware
Saw him happy
A child
Any child
Watched him wave goodbye
Innocent
Caught in a glass revolving door
He should never know exist
But
Was about to become all too familiar with

Quietly we looked to each other
Those aware
Their faces said it all
Like mine
We wanted to somehow
Warn
Prepare
Save him
From the inevitability of that stroll;
It was the longest walk
And we hadn't even made it out into the hall...

He came to me
Took my hand
Instinctively I held him
A little firmer
Finding myself bringing his head
Closer to me
To comfort myself
Maybe transfer a little bit of the love
I have for them all
To him for his journey;
Of course as we entered the hall
He turned towards the familiar exit
But I one-eighty'd
My hand to his back
In a gentle swoop
Guiding him
Leading him
Somehow
Failing him
Even though it wasn't my actions
That brought this moment.

We passed a few people
Whom later would say
'I saw it on your face'
Of course
My eyes always give it away
And yet he was still unaware...
It was the longest walk.

Half way down the stairs
I didn't want to do it anymore
I wanted to tell him
To go on
There
Alone
I didn't want him to equate me
To the situation
Later
In some foreign place
With foreign people
He would never trust
Because like me
In the end
Would let him down
Take him away
Walk him away...
It was the longest walk.

We entered those final two rooms.
There before us
A boy
Any boy
He looked up
And to my horror
I saw him
Older
Aware
Waiting for his younger self
Questioningly the younger called his name
The older remained silent
He'd already taken that long walk
(I wonder if he did it alone?)

It was here that reality dawned
He looked to me
Me quickly looking away
I could feel his weight shift
As he haunched
In that familiar
'What have I done now?' pose
And yet we still
Hadn't made it to our destination.

We went through that final doorway.
There they were
The powers that be
With their notebooks
Memos and pens
Ready to make the transfer...
There was nothing I could do
Nothing I could say
I'd never experienced this
(Well, not this way)...

She turned
Said his name
Quietly he said
'Hello'

It was the last thing I heard him say.
And as long as that walk had been
To get there
It was
And will be
An even longer one to escape...
©2010clarencecbess

Toys

The world's problems ALWAYS start at home.

"Toys"

He got a cell phone
A PSP
Two rocks in his ears
A colorful pair of Tims
Brushed to perfection
Like they just came off the floor
Out of the box
From the back room storage;
In his pair of jeans
True
He dials through his tunes
Head bobbing to whatever
As he recites
Like he's on stage
Madison Square spotlight
His name in those big letters
Out on the digital marquee;
All the pretty girls
(And some ugly ones too)
Young and old
Bat those eyes
Tell him
How fine he is
From stem to stern
With his braids
His smile...

The problem is
He's only twelve years old.

She is with her posse
I can't say friends
Because females
In case you didn't know
Make amazing the ability
To fight and make-up
Within a single breath;
Her jeans are tight
Shirt
Tight
Showing hills
That will grow
Into treacherous mountains
Curves
That many a rig
Would attempt to traverse
Only in failure
To end up at the base of her canyon
Ragged and deep;
Each time she opens her mouth
My ears ring
Filling my mind with visions
Of walking into the Source Awards
And just about blowing everyone away
Because this is the end result...

She's probably about 12 or 13.

Damn these parents
And their toys
Their baby dolls
They dress and spoil
In a permanent tea time;
Damn these parents
And their toys
Who look like adults
Talk like adults
But demand like babies
The latest
Freshest
Except they're aware
Deeming me wrong
When I say it is not my
Or our responsibility
To give in to that fantasy;
Damn these parents
And their toys
Who rape my cash
When they're the one's
Who chose to spread
Who chose to laugh
The 1st time they said 'bitch'
In public
And let them run
Set the pace
To how life would be;
See
I had to earn
Through behavior and grades
Learn
Things were done on their time
I had to fear
With that fear ultimately growing
To respect
For others
For them
And their hard work
At fashioning me
A man
Who ultimately respects himself...
So damn these parents today
And their toys
Mistakenly known as children.
©2010clarencecbess

The House

I'd always heard about a certain location in Manhattan... Truly, it was like going to another world.

"The House"

Muted tones
Browns
Greens
Reds
Subdued
Gluteus Maximus
Flatimus
Yeah, I know
A made up word
But truth
In this den of the forgotten
Clinging
Enticing
With their dollar bills
Bills
Bills
Or so it's thought
Till one understands
Recognizes
Past their vericose existence
And silver hair
Muted
Underneath these lights
With their flattering propensity
Next to these conservative walls
Accentuated
With the vibrancy of youth
As if to say
Be there
But don't
A time so many try to pass
So many have forgotten
So many will never know
In their petticoats and cardigans
Or at least today's equivalent of...

I sat
Danced with my eyes
Moving about the room
Catching periodic stares
As I was sized-up
Till one was so bold as to sit next to me
Until I informed him
There was nothing he could
Should
Or would do for me
And no,
I won't take that drink...

Besides,
We're both a little too old for that game.
©2010clarencecbess

Ghetto Songs

On my way to work
The words coming strong
On my way to teach
But the more I'll learn
Tantamount to things
In my horrid dreams
Beneath trees I'd attempt to sleep
But there are no leaves

See it on their faces
All that we've become
A people who've forgotten
Their past underneath the sun
Tantamount to things
We once sang and dreamed
Beneath the trees I'd hide
But there are no leaves

Left with ghetto songs
For my misery
Left with ghetto psalms
For some company
Coupled with my qualms
That there are no trees
Underneath where I can dream
With shading leaves

On my way to learn
Today's history
I'll see it on their faces
The complacency
Tantamount to things
In my silent scream
Echoing so loud
On these leafless trees

Left with ghetto songs
To succeed my being
Left with ghetto psalms
To release these things
I am left to dream
In my homecoming
Where I'll rest beneath the shade
Of my completed trees
©2010clarencecbess

In Truth

Time is a warrior
On a field of disguise
Killing with stealth
And unbiased eyes
I wait with wonder
Of my moment's demise

Fate is a scent
Hanging subtle on a breeze
Teasing with haste
And a hypocritical ease
Leaving me waiting with wonder
Of my wants and my needs

Truth is a bandit
Ready to pilfer one's dreams
Lurking between characters
In the chapters we read
I turn with anticipation
Of an end unseen

Result is the entity
That governs them all
Like a fox
Wily and free
Seeking only survival
Between mating calls
I hunt only for glory
Beyond these forest of walls...
©2010clarencecbess